White Shadows
by sunflowersongs
Summary: Edward's a knight. Bella's a fair maiden in need of a protector. An arranged marriage, a run for freedom, a change of heart, a choice to be made. Lots of adventure, some humor, and a cocky Edward.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, dear readers! So…yeah, about that not writing anymore thing…that's obviously not happening. Lol I guess I just have too many stories stuck in this crazy head of mine. **

**I think you're really going to enjoy this one. First, Edward is a knight and about the cockiest bastard you'll ever meet. Second, there's a fair maiden in need of rescue. And third…did I mention Edward is a knight?**

**It's not set anywhere real, so there's no historical accuracy to mess up, and the fictional medieval rules are my own in this land of Oaklea.**

**Many thanks to my terrific pre-reader Lynzlee. She's awesomesauce!**

**GeekChic12 is my beta, and I've got to tell you, not only is she a great writer, she's a simply fantastic beta. Thanks so much for all your hard work on my chapter.**

**Endless gratitude to Twilly for making my truly amazing banner! Make sure to stop by my profile and check it out. **

**As always, any errors are mine.**

**SM owns all that Twilight jazz, but the contents of this story are my rock-n-roll. **

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**White Shadows **

**Chapter 1**

**Castle Ostburn**

I walked into the dark, smoky great hall and tugged off my gloves and cloak. I adjusted my tunic over my chain mail as my squire, Tormund, rushed over to relieve me of my things and my sword. I went to unhook my sword belt, but paused. This was a friendly castle, loyal to my family, but, as my father had always reminded me, trust no one but your own self.

A buxom serving wench brought me a tankard of ale and handed it to me with a nearly toothless smile. She gave me a once over and then winked at me as she shoved her large breasts up to better display her wares to me. She was almost ugly, but she seemed clean and friendly enough. I pondered her silent offer as she strutted away.

No, I wasn't that desperate. I'd wait for a better offer. It would come. I never wanted for a woman to warm my pallet at night.

Being the only son and heir to Castle Sunhaven of the Amber Isle, First Knight to King Alfred, the reigning tournament champion five years running, the man nicknamed "Slayer" by those he'd fought against…I held a certain attraction, a certain fascination to women. But then perhaps my face and body- and being well endowed- had something to do with it as well.

I saw a rotund, heavily bearded knight make his way toward me and nearly groaned. Sir Geoffrey was the last person I wished to speak to tonight, the over-blown sack of hot air. He reached me, giving me a jovial smile and a slap on the arm.

"Good to see you, Bonny Boy."

"I told you to never call me that, you buffoon. I see some time in the lists tomorrow is in order to remind you of my other nickname – Slayer."

Sir Geoffrey blinked. "Mite touchy there, boy."

I had been leaning against the wall, but at his words, I uncurled myself to standing, towering over him with my full height.

"Boy?"

I saw his face whiten a bit, but then the fool decided he did have some bollocks between his legs. He cleared his throat and tried his best to look intimidating.

"I'll see you there, Bonny Boy, if you think you can take me."

I felt the almost feral grin curling my lips.

"That's thrice you've called me 'boy'. Listen to me very carefully now, Sir Geoffrey. Do not mistake my 'bonny' self for anything other than the man that will cheerfully kill you on the morrow. Meet me there in the forenoon, fourth bell, and we'll see who's the one still standing at the finish."

He took a step back. "On the morrow then, Sunhaven," he said quickly, then scuttled away.

I leaned back against the cold stone wall again and turned my head toward the sound of musicians starting up a lively tune. There'd been a birth here at Castle Ostburn. Finally a son and heir after all these years and four daughters, only two of which still lived. I hadn't been here in many a year, not since my youth. But my father had sent me to offer congratulations and bring a gift to the castellan, Sir Charles, on the birth of his heir, so here I was.

My eyes skimmed over the guests in the great hall, looking for friendly or at least familiar faces. I recognized the Snowdens, the keepers of the Winter Isle. Then the Eggletons, the keepers of Castle Bleak. An unfortunate, but apt name, I thought as I looked over their dour faces.

My eyes fell upon the Andels. Their stronghold was Castle of the Rock, and they were as hard as the land they lived upon. Lord Andel's eyes met mine, and a frown fell upon his face. There was not much love lost between my family and his. My father had hoped to betroth me to Andel's comely daughter. But looking upon whom was surely her seated beside her father; I'd not be taking that enormous, almost manly woman to be mine. She'd probably slip a dagger between my ribs if I ever tried to come near her in the marriage bed.

From there I skimmed my eyes over the Meggors of Stone Ridge, the Vales of Eden Glen, and the Lormonts of the Black Keep. A grim bunch, except for the Vale's, which were all gingers. Freckled and fiery tempered to boot, but also much loved to laugh. I admit to my enjoyment of the Vales company.

I trailed my eyes around the rest of the guests; many of them hedge knights without a sworn allegiance. Perhaps they were hoping they'd be taken up by one of the Lords in attendance tonight. Without a place to shelter and certain meals in your future, your earned spurs as a knight were worthless.

I took a sip of my ale and contemplated my own life. I was thirty but not past my prime. I'd never felt more strong and able, which I had proven to many careless youth that dared to call me old and try to defeat me in the lists. I always sent them away with plenty of bruises, including those to their pride. Men knew they were foolish to test me. I did not take offense lightly.

I again eyed the daughters of the Lords in attendance and nearly cringed. A frightful lot in whole, except perhaps for one or two. The Vale girl was passing attractive, but her buck teeth and loud, booming voice that was deep like a man's was a definite detraction.

The Andel girl was out. Not even a contemplation there.

The Lormonts had three daughters, each one uglier by succession. Looks were not all, this I truly believed, but the thought of having children with one of them and them turning out looking like their mother…no.

The Eggletons had only sons, seven of them, all slow and dimwitted like their mother. The Meggors had a daughter of passing good looks, but her father's keep was an inconsequential one and not a match my father would have had me make to strengthen our ties.

That left the Snowden girl, buxom, blonde-haired and blue-eyed. She was very pretty, but also a complete terror. She was big and fierce, carrying a sword like a man. I'd heard her father had taken to locking her in her solar at night just to keep her from escaping and riding her horse along the shore at break-neck speed. It was rumored she was a witch and liked to dance around in her shift in the moonlight as she cast spells against those who'd angered her.

No, definitely not her. No man would want to saddle himself with such a woman.

My eyes went to the dais where the Lord of Castle Ostburn, Sir Charles, was eating along with his comely wife who was holding their squalling newborn son. I wondered at where the daughters of the castle were. There were two, Mary Alice and Isabella, whom I hadn't seen since they were children. Mary Alice had always been an odd child; they say she had the sight and could foretell the future. They'd often found her sitting alone on the ramparts just staring into the distance as if waiting for something or someone. She was kept mostly hidden by the family and only brought out on formal occasions. I wondered who they would ever get to wed that strange girl.

My mind drifted to Isabella. She'd been an unattractive child. I briefly remembered a prominent nose and almost too large eyes. She had dark hair like her father and sister and could shoot a bow and arrow as well as any man. I remember an entire fortnight of her following me around, asking me questions, begging me to spar with her, and annoying me endlessly. That, in total, was my recollection of her.

Isabella. I pondered a marriage contract with her. That would be a good allegiance that my father would whole-heartedly approve of, and she was of age to wed. I wondered what she grew up to look like, and if she ever grew into that nose and those eyes of hers.

Realization dawned on me that this was the real reason my father had sent me on this fool's mission that any knight of his could have done. He had sent me here to find a bride of my choosing before he forced upon me one of his. Any choice I would make was bound to be better than one where I had no choice, so I skimmed the young maidens again.

The music started, and tables were pushed back to allow dancing in the middle of the floor. Fresh rushes sprinkled with herbs and dried flowers covered the floor. The many dogs Sir Charles owned had been confined to the kennels for the night, so the hall, for once, did not reek of hound as I remembered it always doing so from my youth.

A serving woman caught my attention descending the stairs leading a very thin, short, dark-haired girl. She looked around warily and clutched the older woman's arm for support. Mary Alice, I presumed by her haunted look. She was led to the dais and seated beside her mother. She glanced around the hall once with wide, frightened eyes and then lowered them quickly to the trencher placed in front of her. I noticed she did not eat nor drink, but merely sat very still as if scared of the festivities. I felt for that girl, but I knew she had to do her duty to make an appearance. I wondered about the man that would ever take her to wife. I briefly hoped it was a kind man and not one who would beat her for being so timid and strange.

As the music grew louder and faster, the dancers had gathered in two circles, the smaller one in the center of women, the outer one of men. Red-faced and smiling dancers holding outstretched hands took two steps right, a crossover step left, then right, and then two steps left again five times until they took two steps to the center with their arms raised high in the air. The dance grew faster and faster as the musicians increased their speed. I watched them, mildly entertained. I did not care for dancing myself, but I did enjoy watching the ladies at their dance.

It was then that I finally noticed her.

She had on a dress of ruby-red crushed velvet, with long lace at the end of the sleeves. The dress molded to her obviously shapely body, her small, high breasts framed by the square-cut neck of it. She had on a silver belt, the end of which hung down her thigh, the bells at the end jingling with every dance step. Her long brunette hair was unbraided and hung to her bottom, all shimmery in the rush-light. She had a wispy veil upon her head, held in place by a circlet of silver, done in some elaborate pattern. Her skin was flawless, her cheeks flushed red from her dancing, her mouth curled into a happy smile.

I pushed off from the wall and dropped my tankard unnoticed to the floor. This woman, this slip of a girl, held the entirety of my attention. I watched her dance, her joy in it apparent even from this distance. I watched her long hair bounce and sway as she moved. I noted how graceful she was as she turned her foot in an intricate pattern of the next dance. I watched her so intently and for so long, it didn't go unnoticed.

"Go dance with her, you idiot," said my friend, Sir Emmett, suddenly appearing at my side.

I turned to him with a grin. "I didn't know you would be here, you bastard! Good to see you, my friend!" I replied as I clasped his forearm in my hand, and he did the same.

"Good to see you, friend. Now, I see you admiring the Lady Isabella. Go ask her to dance."

"Lady Isabella?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Don't play the dullard with me. I know you know who she is, and I see how you're watching her. She'd make a good match that your father would approve of. Go." He nudged me with his shoulder.

"Who says I'm looking to get betrothed?"

"Everyone. Your father told my father that you better pick, and soon, or he'd pick for you. You're to marry by year's end."

"What?" I asked in astonishment. "By year's end?"

"Yes, so you'd best pick soon. There're many…suitable matches you could make here," Emmett replied, doubt clear in his voice.

"Tell me, Emmett, whom would you choose?"

Emmett looked over the room and then nodded his head toward the Snowdens. "That one."

"Rosalie of Snowden? Are you mad? She acts like a man, and they say she's a witch!"

"I doubt that. I hear she's brave and fearless, and no man could tame her. I'd relish the challenge. Something tells me she'd be worth the effort."

I just stared at him in disbelief. "If you're insane enough to attempt that madness, I wish you all the luck in the world. You'll need it, friend."

Emmett nodded. "So, how does one begin to woo a fearsome woman?"

"I have no idea. Find what she's fond of, perhaps? I've never attempted to woo a woman. They always come to me."

Emmett turned to me and sighed. "Yeah. Why is that?"

"No idea. Must be my winning personality," I said with a grin.

"Huh. More like your pretty face and huge cock," Emmett said with a laugh.

"Well, there is that," I replied with a smirk.

Emmett shook his head. "I'd like to see that arrogance of yours knocked down a couple of notches. Just once."

"You willing to try?" I asked hopefully.

Emmett was as strong as a bull and outweighed me by a full two stones, but he was no match for my prowess in the lists.

"I've fallen for that one before. I've no wish to spend this entire visit unable to sit down, or fuck a woman, because I'm so bruised. Find another idiot to take out your ego on."

"I'm thinking Sir Geoffrey." I indicated with a point to him in the corner, nuzzling a giggling serving maid.

"Good choice. I'm off to try to woo the fair Rosalie of Snowden."

"I think you'd have more success trying to best me in the lists," I replied, my voice laced with doubt.

Emmett laughed. "Go woo the fair maiden you've had your eye on. I'll go woo mine." He walked away adjusting his sword belt and brushing back his long dark hair from his face.

I shook my head and scanned the hall. Several women, young to old met my eyes. I got plenty of invitations and come-hither looks, but I ignored them. I was searching for the beguiling Lady Isabella that had caught my attention.

I found her seated next to her sister, Mary Alice, on the dais. She had her arm around her and was speaking into her ear. Mary Alice nodded and then looked at Isabella, relief clear on her face. She darted from the table and up the stairs, quick and silent as a mouse. Isabella then took her seat. Her father sent her a thunderous look, which Isabella acknowledged with merely a shrug.

So, she had some back-bone to her, besides beauty. Lady Isabella suddenly had become much more intriguing to me.

"…his holdings. I hear she has a huge dowry, but Sir Charles was holding out for a bigger prize."

I stepped back into the shadows against the wall to better listen in on this whispered conversation.

"Huh. I hear her dowry is a thousand gold crowns," the second man said.

"A thousand?" the first man asked in astonishment.

"And the keep at Craggs End."

"Craggs End? That old, moldy pile of stones? Who'd want that?"

"Me, for one. It comes with land that stretches from the sea, all the way to the border of Castle Ostburn."

There was an awed silence for a moment, before the first man spoke again. "Who was Sir Charles holding out for?"

"Prince Phillip himself."

"God's be. He's an ambitious bastard, ain't he?"

"And a greedy one. He couldn't coax the Prince into a betrothal, so there's a rumor that he's going to give her to Lord Marsh."

"Blimey! Does he hate his daughter? Marsh is old, mean, and cruel. He'll beat her every day."

"But Marsh is rich and his holdings vast. It's a good alliance. Sadly for Lady Isabella, that bloom of beauty on her cheeks will soon be replaced with bruises, for sure. Marsh once beat a serving wench to death because she spilt his soup in his lap and kicked his favorite hound to death when he dared bark him awake. Imagine what he'd do to a headstrong girl like Lady Isabella."

"I shudder to think. Poor girl."

"She could use a savior. Someone to steal her away before Marsh gets hold of her."

"Sir Charles would hunt them down and kill them both."

"Better that than Marsh. At least she'd have a chance. It's a death sentence for her if she weds Marsh."

"True. Enough of this troubling subject. Let's drink and find some willing serving maids to plow."

"Right with you, mate," the other agreed as I heard their footsteps lumber off.

I stood there with a frown on my face. I wouldn't give a dog to Marsh. I certainly wouldn't give him my daughter. What the hell was Sir Charles thinking? Did he hate his daughter?

I watched her carefully as she ate and drank and conversed with her mother and fellow guests. She seemed of refined manners. Her posture was ramrod straight and her demeanor beyond reproach. She'd make any man a fine wife and mistress of his home.

An unsettling feeling gathered in my chest. That damned chivalrous side of me was rearing its head.

_No_. _She's not my concern_. _She's the property of her father to do as he will, like all young maidens_.

But…Marsh. I knew that cruel bastard. I had seen him dole out his "punishment" to one who had offended him on more than one occasion. It had taken all I had not to interfere, but I liked living, and to come between Marsh and his target was death for certain.

My eyes rested on Lady Isabella talking with her mother. I remembered that defiant gesture and implacable look she'd given her father over her sister. Marsh would not tolerate such behavior. If lucky he'd only beat it out of her. At worst, he'd strangle her for it.

_She's not my concern_, I repeated to myself.

And I would have left it at that had she not looked up right at that moment and met my eyes. Hers widened in surprise, before a soft blush covered her cheeks, and she lowered her head to try to hide it. She peeked up at me and seemed embarrassed to be caught looking my way again. She quickly averted her eyes and then turned to her mother to say something. Her mother nodded, and Lady Isabella flew out of her chair and disappeared up a back stairway behind the dais.

_She needs a savior. Someone to steal her away..._

I shook my head.

Sir Charles wouldn't be so cruel. Surely he's not betrothed her to Marsh. Surely not.

Brown eyes, deep and soulful danced in front of me.

I scowled and turned away to find the nearest tankard of ale.

I spent the rest of the evening getting more than a little drunk, hoping to wipe those eyes from my mind, but that wasn't working. So pretty. So young. So fresh. So full of life, and Marsh would destroy all of that.

_Not my problem_, I repeated again to myself as I passed out drunk in the arms of a soft serving wench.

x~x

"Any luck with your wooing?" I asked Emmett with a grin as I swung my sword out in a wide arc to his left, taking him by surprise.

"You know how it went," he replied tersely with a deep frown. "The woman poured her wine in my lap!"

I laughed. "What a terrible waste of wine. Watering your cock with grapes isn't likely to help it grow longer."

Emmett laughed in spite of himself and smacked my hip with the side of his sword. "Well, not everyone can be hung like a horse as you are, pretty boy. Mine's plenty big enough for the job. Anyway, I can still piss farther than you."

I kicked his feet out from under him and held the point of my sword to his throat. "So it be a pissing contest you'll be wanting next? Yield, you mangy mongrel."

"I yield," he said with a laugh. "And who are you calling mangy? I bathe."

"Not often enough." I held out my hand for him and tugged him standing. "Perhaps you'd get further with Lady Rosalie if you cleaned yourself up a bit."

"You think so?" Emmett asked, suddenly serious.

"Couldn't hurt. Find her some flowers while you're at it."

"Flowers?" Emmett asked me as if I just told him to fetch Rosalie the moon.

"Yes. Flowers. You know, the pretty things that smell good? Women like such things I'm told."

"But you wouldn't know, right?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Never cared enough to try to woo a woman. If they like me, they come to me."

"If you ever do set your sights on a woman, I feel sorry for her. And for everyone who knows you."

"Why do you say that?" I asked, perplexed.

We had just left the listing grounds, heading back toward the main keep of the castle. Emmett paused and turned to me and said, "Because, if you do ever fall in love, and she doesn't love you back, you're going to be one mopey bastard. The blow to your pride will be tremendous. You may never get over the shock." Emmett grinned widely. "Oh, how I long for that day. I only pray I'm there to witness it."

I clubbed him on the head with a laugh. "You idiot. How could a woman not love me? I'm strong, handsome, knighted, wealthy, and, as you say, well endowed. I'm every woman's dream."

"You're insufferable, that's what you are. Cocky bastard," Emmett replied with a snort. "Come. Let's break bread together before I brave a bath and then attempt once more to woo Rosalie of Snowden."

x~x

I sat back, plopped my feet upon the trestle table and sipped my ale as I watched Emmett make a complete fool out of himself with the Snowden chit. The sound of the smack rang all the way over to my side of the great hall. Rosalie stormed out of the hall, and Emmett stomped over to my table and plopped himself down across from me. He grabbed my tankard out of my hand and took one long drink before plunking it down hard on the table.

"That _woman._" He rubbed his face with the heels of his hands.

"What on earth did you say to her to earn that handprint on your cheek?"

Emmett shrugged. "I just told her that when we wed, I wouldn't make her rub my feet _every_ night and that I expected a son within the first year, but I would let it pass if she gave me a daughter first."

I just gaped at Emmett. "That's what you tried to woo her with?"

"Not good?" Emmett asked.

"You blockhead. A rock could woo a woman better than you just did. You're supposed to tell her she's beautiful, bring her flowers, and serve her wine and sweetmeats. You're supposed to be _charming_."

"So is _that_ how you get so many women to warm your bed?" Emmett asked.

"No. I simply say, 'Come with me,' and they do."

Emmett just stared at me for a moment. "If you weren't my friend, I think I might hate you."

"How could you possibly hate me?" I asked with laugh. "Thanks to me, you're still alive and breathing. I've saved your arse on more than one occasion, if I'm remembering correctly."

Emmett snorted. "And I've saved yours. Let's not forget what happened at the Black Crow Inn and the following fight at The Crooked Crown."

"I don't seem to recall those events," I replied as I pulled out my dagger and began to clean my fingernails with the point.

"Lying bastard," Emmett laughed.

"You started it," I reminded him.

"I did, didn't I?"

"But I finished it."

"Only because the first time, the serving wench knocked me out cold with a tankard. And the second time-"

"The second time," I interrupted with arched eyebrows, "I do believe you simply fell over sound asleep right in the middle of fisticuffs with the local tavern rat. He thought he'd killed you. That's when he turned to me."

"Perhaps we need to stay out of seedy taverns," Emmett said in a tone that implied in no way should we do such a thing.

"Not much fun in that. I haven't been in a good fisticuff fight in so long," I said wistfully.

"You did a pretty good number on Sir Geoffrey."

I shrugged. "That wasn't a good fight. That wasn't a fair fight. Hell, that wasn't even a fight."

"And he won't be plowing between the legs of any serving wenches for quite some time."

"I can't imagine what woman would ever want his hairy arse to begin with," I replied with a grimace.

"Thanks for reminding me that his arse is hairy. Hell, the whole castle knows his arse is hairy since you made the squires strip him down naked and then left him out cold in the pigsty."

"Hopefully the pigs aren't too hungry."

"Well, that's a mighty small root they'd be digging to get at," Emmett replied, and we both erupted in mirth, our laughter filling the great hall.

"Get your dirty boots off the table!"

I turned my head to see Lady Isabella standing there, arms crossed over her mid-section –_and what a lovely mid-section it was_- and a look of disgust upon her face.

Still vastly amused, I simply shrugged my shoulder. "I'm not hurting the table none. Now, go fetch me something to eat, would you, lovely? Bread, cheese, anything will do. And more ale while you're at it."

"Something to-to eat?" she sputtered.

"Yes. You know, _food_. You're not daft, are you?"

I peered at her. She didn't appear to be dim-witted. If she was, then that would be a problem if I did her the honor of wedding her. I didn't want stupid off-spring. I skimmed my eyes over her pleasing, _very pleasing_, figure. But perhaps, just perhaps, it might be worth it to lay with this woman.

"Daft? I'll have you know I speak three languages and reading is my greatest pleasure!"

"Reading as pleasure? I can assure you, madam, I can think of something far more…pleasurable."

I sent her my smolder that any chit, young or old, responded to by practically flinging themselves at me.

"You're an animal."

"If you'd prefer." I shrugged. "I'm up for anything."

Her mouth fell open as she stood there glowering at me. "You…you…pig! You're revolting!"

She spun around and then flew back up the staircase.

I just sat there staring at the stairs, thinking she'd come back down in a moment, but she never did.

I turned to Emmett in disbelief. "She didn't get me food."

"I noticed that." Was that a smirk Emmett was trying to hide?

"She got angry at me," I said in disbelief.

I was astonished. All women, young and old, ugly and pretty alike, rushed to serve me and garner my attention, they had all my life. My mind was churning in confusion. What was going on here? I sent her my _smolder_ for God's sake!

"I like that girl. She just made my day," I vaguely heard Emmett say, but I was only half-listening to him. She refused me!

"Why would she not fetch me food?" I asked, thinking out loud.

"Probably because she's the first woman you couldn't charm with that face of yours. You must be getting old and losing your looks."

That got my attention. What? Old? I looked at Emmett with wide eyes.

"_Old_? I'm old? I'm losing my looks?"

Nay. Surely not. Only last night, I could have had my pick of any woman in the castle. I'd had plenty of offers from women wanting to warm my pallet. Plenty. Well, kind of plenty. Kind of.

_No. Hell and damnation. No. _

"I need a looking glass." I slammed my boots down to the rushes and jerked myself standing.

"Go use the watering trough. It'll work the same for you."

Was that another dig at me? Telling me to use the watering trough for the horses? Emmett's face was impassive, giving away nothing. I let it pass, but I sent him a warning look.

I hurried out of the hall, Emmett close on my heels and went and stood over the nearest watering trough. I looked down at my face reflected on the water and saw the same handsome face staring back at me I'd seen all my life. I sighed in relief.

"I see no change."

"Except for those wrinkles around your eyes, and your beginning-to-sag jowls."

"_What_?" I asked in horror.

I leaned down closer to the water to get a better look, and that would be when Emmett shoved my face in. He was laughing, along with most of the men in the bailey, as he high-tailed it away from me. I took off in pursuit of the bastard to beat him senseless. I made note of everyone who laughed. They'd be repaid in the lists later.

x~x

"And how's your father?" Sir Charles asked me as he sipped his wine.

I sat in a chair near the fire, my long legs stretched out in front of me, as I casually rolled the stem of the wine goblet between my fingers.

"He's well. Never in better health. Father sends his congratulations." I handed him a wrapped bundle. "This is a gift for you on the birth of your heir."

Sir Charles looked up as the solar door opened and Lady Isabella strode in. She paused, seeing me by the fire, then looked at her father uncertainly. "You summoned me, Father?"

"I did. Sit."

She quickly obeyed, taking the seat next to me. I studied her silent, unmoving form before glancing back to Sir Charles as he was unwrapping the bundle. From it he pulled out a jeweled dagger, a roll of lush crimson cloth, a hammered gold necklace with rubies, and a rolled parchment.

He admired those gifts for a moment, well pleased by my father's generosity. Though I'm sure it was apparent to him, as it was to me, that my father was attempting to curry favor with him. So perhaps my father _had _been hoping to make a match between our two houses.

I glanced toward the silent, rigid, but absolutely beautiful woman beside me.

I could live with that.

_She needs a savior. Someone to steal her away._

I shook that voice out of my head and put my attention back on Sir Charles.

He broke my father's seal and slowly began to peruse the missive. He lowered it to his lap and sent me a frown.

"You know what's in this?"

I shook my head. "I do not."

"Well, it's the usual salutations and congratulations, and a description and explanation of the gifts. All four of them."

I blankly looked at him, not understanding. "Four?"

"Yes. The knife, the cloth, the necklace, and…you."

I sat up straight in shock. "Me? What does that mean?"

"It means, that until I release you, you're in my service. Your job being to protect my daughter, Isabella."

"Nay. Surely not. You must be mistaken."

"See for yourself," Sir Charles said and handed me the parchment. I read it in disbelief.

"My father gave me to you. Whatever could this mean? I'm his heir, not some hired sell-sword!" I felt great anger brewing at the injustice of it all.

"Perhaps he thought it might solidify our allegiance." I did not miss the edge in his voice, the hidden anger at the affront my words had caused.

I looked Sir Charles over. He was middle aged, a man of some girth about him, dark hair streaked with gray, and a full beard to match. It was his eyes, though, that I was wary of. Black and hard as flint, he was not a man to take lightly. Nor one to offend and make an enemy of.

"I meant no disrespect, Sir Charles. I'm just angry that my father chose not to inform me of his plans."

He was silent for a moment, taking my measure.

"I can understand that. I guess," he added grudgingly. "But if you were sent to guard Isabella, your job will be a short one. She's to leave in a fortnight to travel to Pryefort."

I felt my stomach drop. This ass _was_ giving his daughter to that monster Marsh. _God help her_.

"Pryefort?" Isabella asked, her voice squeaking in surprise.

"Did I ask you to speak, girl? Pryefort, yes. Where you'll wed Sir Roderick Marsh. Sir Edward and a band of knights will travel with you to make sure you arrive safely."

_More like, don't run away_, I thought.

I saw the color drain from Isabella's cheeks. She sat there, pale as a ghost, trying to hide her trembling hands in the folds of her gown.

"M-Marsh? I'm to wed…M-Marsh?" she asked, her voice tiny and quaking in fear.

"Yes. And you'll obey him in all things. Go now and start making your preparations to leave."

"But Mary Alice-"

"Will be just fine here. I'll dower her with enough gold that some lack-wit fool will take her to wife."

"But, Father-"

"Leave us now!"

She stood up and held his eyes. "Father, _please_. I'm begging you. _Don't do this to me_," she pleaded, her eyes brimming with tears.

He simply turned his head away, gazing into the flames in the fireplace as if she hadn't even spoken.

I then witnessed something amazing. Something braver than anything I'd ever seen. Isabella nodded to herself, squared her shoulders, then in annoyance wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"I bid you good eve, Father. Sir Edward."

Then she glided out of the solar door as if she was the queen herself.

Such stoicism. Such…I felt something I hadn't felt for anyone in a long time, if ever, for no one had I ever met who'd been my equal. Admiration bloomed in my chest for that brave girl. Admiration and recognition of a kindred spirit that refused to be broken.

My eyes fell back on her father. He didn't look like a monster, but then wolves are often disguised in sheep's clothing.

Feeling my eyes upon him, he turned to me with a frown. "You do not agree with my decision."

"I wouldn't give my dog to Marsh," I said, unable to hide my disgust.

"He'll treat her well. She won't be a servant or dog, she'll be his wife."

"The man uses his fists to make his point. It won't matter that she's his wife. He'll not treat Lady Isa-"

"Enough! It's done. You'll leave in a fortnight. Choose your men to take with you."

I stood and held his eyes. "Yes, sir. I promise that no harm will come to Lady Isabella as long as she's under _my _protection."

Sir Charles just turned his head away, ignoring me.

I went out and pulled the door to the solar closed a little too hard, but my anger right this moment was immense. I stomped down the stairs and found the first man I could and drug him out to the lists and took out my anger on him. That wasn't enough, so I found another and another until my arms ached and my head was throbbing from exhaustion.

I looked around me at the men I'd just unleashed my fury upon, men who were looking at me in both fear and awe.

That was more like it.

It was almost enough to make me forget Lady Isabella's tear stained face.

Almost.

* * *

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**Sunny**


	2. Chapter 2

**Many, many thanks to my pre-reader Lynzlee. I always love to hear your response. **

**A ton of thank you's to my beta, GeekChic12. You catch all my silly mistakes (thank goodness), and leave the best notes. **

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**SM owns all things Twilight. I own Sir Edward. And the words of this story. And perhaps too many books.**

* * *

**White Shadows**

**Chapter 2**

"Ooof!"

I was startled from sleep by a body landing on top of me. Instantly awake, I had my knife in hand, ready to strike out when I realized that the body on top of mine was most definitely female.

I wrapped my arm around Isabella's back as I grinned up at her. "There were easier ways to get my attention, you know."

She didn't reply as she scrambled off of me and stood. She crossed her arms and glared down at me.

"What in the blazes are you doing sleeping in front of my door?"

"I'm charged with protecting you," I replied, thinking she was a bit daft for asking me such a question.

"And that means you're to sleep on a pallet outside my door?"

"Yes. Unless you'd allow me to sleep inside your chamber."

Her eyes widened a bit. "_Inside_ my chamber?"

"Yes. I could protect you even better if I could sleep inside of your locked room."

"What in the world do you suppose is going to happen to me in my own home?"

I averted my eyes, not wanting to show her my fears and doubts about her father and his motives.

Annoyed by my lack of response, she exhaled. "I'm going down to break my fast."

I leapt to my feet as I slipped my knife back into its sheath strapped to my calf. In mere seconds I had my bedding rolled up. I opened her door, placing it inside, then turned back to face her.

"Then, by all means, let us join in the morning repast."

"You don't have to come with me."

"Lady Isabella, I can only protect you by being with you."

"This is quite ridiculous. I can shoot a bow more accurately and farther than any man. Besides, I keep my own knife close." She pulled up the hem of her green dress and showed me the dagger strapped to her thigh.

I just stood there gazing at her smooth, white, shapely leg.

She quickly dropped her dress back into place. "See? I can protect myself."

I finally raised my eyes to her face. "I remember your archery training as a child, and your attempt at sword play. Perhaps, after we break our fast, you can display these supposed talents to me."

"Father would not approve."

"Well…I'm not your father, am I?"

A pleased, secretive grin crossed her face. "Indeed not. Come, let's eat quickly. I'm eager to show the mighty 'Slayer' my skills."

"I'm eager to see such skills, my lady."

She sent me a look full of confusion. "I can't keep up with you. Yesterday you were an arse trying to order me about, this morning you're the overprotective guard dog, and now you've turned into the well-mannered knight."

"Was there a question in there?"

She tapped her fingertip to her chin. "I'm just wondering which one is the real Edward of Sunhaven."

"The answer is obvious. I'm all of them. Though women tend to like the dashing me the best for I am, like you said, Edward of Sunhaven, heir to the Amber Isle, First Knight to King Alfred, the reigning tournament champion five years running, devilishly handsome, strong, rich, fearsome-"

"You're something all right," Isabella muttered. "Come let's eat before you put me to sleep listing all your titles and supposed qualities."

"Nothing supposed about them."

When we reached the stairs, she turned to me, an odd expression upon her face. "Why do I feel all this isn't quite…true?"

"All I said about myself is true."

"No, that's not what I meant. Why do I feel that there's the you that you show the world and then there's another you, the real you, that no one ever sees?"

"That's preposterous. There's only one me," I replied but couldn't meet her eyes.

"Don't forget to add stubborn to that list of 'qualities' you hold."

"Are we ever going to eat, or are we going to stand here all day with you trying to peer inside my head?" I asked in frustration.

"We eat," she replied, sounding pleased about something.

I followed her down the stairs, my head nearly aching from all the poking and prodding she'd tried to do inside my brain.

x~x

Isabella stood in concentration, her quiver of arrows strapped across her back, her bow in hand. Faster than I thought possible, she released three arrows, each one in succession hitting the center of the target.

She turned to me, a little smirk lifting the left side of her mouth. "Well?"

"Well done," I acknowledged.

"Care to try to best me?" she challenged.

I quickly glanced around at the small crowd that had gathered to witness this display. I was skilled with a bow, but nowhere near as well as Isabella. Best I decline her offer lest I was made a fool of in front of this company of lords' sons.

"No. I can see that you have some prowess with the bow. It's your skills with a knife and sword that I'm eager to see."

"Lead on then," she replied, as she tugged her quiver of arrows over her head. She handed them, along with her bow, to a waiting serving maid. She exchanged those for a small sword. I reached for it as I led her to, what I hoped, was a more private setting. The crowd growing around us was getting ridiculous.

I slipped the sword from its sheath, admiring its craftsmanship. I inspected it, checking its balance and grip, then swinging and jabbing it at the air. I handed it back to her with a nod.

"That's a fine sword. Can you use it?"

"I believe so." Her reply hadn't been quite as certain as her reply about her archery skills had been.

"We'll see. Please find somewhere in this damned castle where we won't have a hundred pairs of eyes upon us."

She glanced back at the herd of bodies trailing us. "We'll have to leave the castle to find any privacy."

"Then by all means, let's do so."

"I'm coming with you," Emmett said suddenly from beside me.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. You can help me critique her skills."

"What I'm hoping I get to see is her besting your arse."

I glanced from Isabella's small form, then back to Emmett. "You cannot be serious."

He shrugged with a laugh. "No, but it would be fun to see you bested by a slip of a woman."

"No. That would _not_ be fun," I replied sourly.

Emmett laughed again.

"I could be better than you both think," Isabella replied, sounding offended.

"Sure," I answered with a grin.

"Gertha!" she yelled, and the serving maid came running. She took back her bow and arrows, strapping them to her back.

We had reached the stables by then, where squires quickly saddled our horses. She leapt into her saddle, and I stared in amazement that she was wearing leggings like a man under her dress. I remembered that shapely leg she'd displayed to me earlier, now clearly outlined in soft, boiled leather.

Isabella was a truly well-made woman. My eyes traveled over her, from the crown of her head, down her long, thick braid, over her breasts, down her leg, to her small booted foot resting in the stirrup.

_Stop_.

I was scowling as I yanked on the reins of my horse, Moonspawn. "Let's move."

We traveled a short distance from the castle, Isabella leading the way. We rode through a wooded area which opened into a sudden, sun-filled meadow.

"Here's where I like to practice," she said as she slid from her saddle and quickly secured her horse to a tree.

I leapt from my horse and loosely tied his reins so that he could graze. "Then let's get to it. You may relieve yourself of your bow and arrows. Emmett and I will protect you."

"No. When I'm from the castle, I'm never without them."

I merely shrugged and then placed myself into a fighting stance. "Your dagger, please."

She adjusted her sword strapped to her hip before pulling out her small knife.

"Come at me."

She did, but she was rash and rushed me too quickly for a jab. I grabbed her around her waist and tugged her back against me, my knife close to her neck.

"Too impatient. Impatience will get you killed every time."

I released her and she spun around with a frown upon her face.

"Listen to me. If a man is close enough to you that you'd need a dagger, your best bet isn't to try to kill him, unless you have the advantage. Your goal should be to disable him so that you may escape. He'll be stronger than you, so what you have to do is even the odds."

"What do you mean?" she asked in curiosity.

"I mean, that if you're on the ground, slash his heel, severing the tendon. He'll go down, and then you can either escape or finish him. If you're behind him," I said as I spun her around and placed the palm of my hand on her lower back, "stab him right here in the kidneys. Or simply just slit his throat from ear to ear."

I turned her back around facing me.

"If he's right in front of you," I said, placing the palm of my hand on her ribcage under her left breast, "then slide your dagger upwards in between these two ribs, and into his heart."

She blinked and stepped back, away from my hand. "You've killed many men?"

I curtly nodded. "If it's them or me, then it's me. Always choose to live, Lady Isabella, no matter the cost."

She looked away, her brows scrunched together.

"But…what of love…family…friendship? Are there not causes, ideas, _people_, worth sacrificing your life for?" she asked as she glanced toward Emmett, who was silently watching our exchange.

I ignored her questions.

"Again. Show me what I just taught you."

She frowned but went into a fighting stance. This time she did better, but still, she ended up with me holding her hostage, my arm wrapped around her waist.

"_Pay attention_," I hissed.

"You as well," she hissed back as she stomped my toes with the heel of her boot, then spun around and kneed me in the groin.

I gasped in pain and fell to my knees. I looked up at her standing there with crossed arms and a victorious smirk on her mouth.

Emmett was nearly rolling with laughter a few feet away, but I ignored him.

"Nicely done," I gasped out when I got my breath back.

"That's what you get for ordering me to get you food and drink yesterday, and for generally just being such an insufferable arse."

My lips twitched in amusement. Still cupping my aching genitals, I unsteadily stood up and inclined my head.

"Forgive me, my lady. That was not well done of me yesterday."

"Well." She was silent for a moment. "Well then."

Emmett wasn't laughing any longer, which was good, for I was about two heartbeats away from kicking his arse. My eyes drifted from Isabella to Emmett, who was staring at me with his mouth open.

"What?"

"You just apologized to Lady Isabella."

"Yes. What of it?" I asked in annoyance.

His mouth snapped shut. "Nothing. I just…nothing."

Like yesterday, he acted as if he was trying to hide a smirk.

My brow wrinkled in confusion, but there was no time to pursue his odd response for my attention was suddenly diverted elsewhere.

"What have we here?" a male voice, one I clearly recognized, called in amusement from the edge of the clearing.

Quicker than I ever thought possible, Isabella had her bow drawn, aiming it at Jasper.

"No. He's a friend," Emmett said to Isabella.

She lowered her bow slowly, and her eyes met mine, the question clear in them.

"It's all right, my lady. I assure you that he's a friend. Fayhurst."

She nodded, recognizing the name of a vast holding to the south.

Jasper rode up to us, a grin upon his face as he slid from the saddle.

"Sorry I'm late. A damned band of thieves attacked me on the way here. They thought to rob me, the fools."

He was shaking his head in disbelief as he gripped first my forearm, then Emmett's, in greeting.

"How many?" Emmett asked.

"Only six."

"Nothing at all," Emmett agreed lightly.

"And who do we have here?" Jasper asked with his best smile to Isabella.

I turned to her. "Sir Jasper of Fayhurst, may I present Lady Isabella of Ostburn."

"Charmed," Jasper replied with another winning smile as he slightly bowed to her.

That annoyed me for some reason.

"Did you really kill six men at once?" Isabella asked, looking impressed.

I frowned, annoyed again.

"Well, I'm not one to brag…" Jasper replied, his flirting obvious then.

"Yes, you are," I replied abruptly, not able to hide my annoyance.

I noticed Jasper's eyes meeting Emmett's, a look passing between them.

"So, Lady Isabella, are you betrothed?" Jasper asked as he slid his eyes briefly to mine.

Her face paled, and she tilted her head to the ground.

"What?" I heard Jasper ask in confusion as Emmett elbowed him hard in the arm.

Emmett just shook his head at him.

"Are we to practice with your sword today, as well, Lady Isabella?" I asked to get her mind off that troubling subject.

Her eyes met mine, and she curtly nodded.

We lightly sparred, but her heart wasn't in it any longer. The joy of the day and her enjoyment of our combat training had been lost. We'd been gone long enough anyway, so I called it a day and said we needed to return to the castle.

I winched in pain a bit as I leapt into the saddle, though I wasn't angry about it. Isabella had impressed me with that move. Men could be brutal creatures. I was actually relieved that she knew how to somewhat defend herself.

_I'll continue to educate her in close knife fighting and swordplay. Those, along with her archery skills, may one day save her life when I'm not there to protect her._

I lifted my head up in surprise, gazing at Isabella's back. But I wouldn't be there to protect her. Only for the next two months or so, and then…and then…Marsh.

I cursed and shook my head. The more I was in Isabella's presence, the less happy I became about handing her over to Marsh.

We rode back to the castle, Jasper and Emmett talking animatedly as they caught up to what had been happening in their lives. They tried to include Isabella and myself in the conversation as well but soon gave up on me and my silence. I was too lost in my thoughts to care.

When we passed under the barbican gate, I heard a gasp from Jasper.

"Look!" he said pointing to the battlements atop the east tower.

There, along the parapets, was Mary Alice, climbing up and down between the crenellations.

I heard Isabella hiss out a curse word as she leapt from the saddle, us men quickly following her as she ran toward the castle. We continued to follow her up the inside staircase, down the right hall, then to the tower where we climbed the steep, winding steps cut into the wall.

Isabella burst through the small door at the top, me right on her heels.

"Alice," she called softly, trying to keep her voice calm as to not startle her sister.

Mary Alice continued on as if she hadn't spoken. She slid down from the high merlon to the lower crenel, and then went to climb up to the next merlon.

"_Alice_," Isabella said more firmly.

Mary Alice finally paused and looked her way, her eyes first falling on her sister, then me, then my friends behind me.

As if in a trance, she slid down off the parapet, onto the solid stone floor. There she became still as a statue, staring at something behind me. I turned my head to find the subject of her attention.

Noting that it was clearly Jasper who held her so transfixed, I looked to Isabella for an answer. She merely shrugged at me, as if it was normal for her sister to do such things.

My eyes darted between Mary Alice and Jasper, the latter looking clearly uncomfortable and more than a little perplexed.

"Come, Alice. Let's go find mother and share a mid-day meal with her. I'm famished. Are you not, sister?" Isabella asked.

She nodded but never took her eyes off of Jasper. Isabella took her arm, leading her back toward the door. Mary Alice paused when they reached Jasper, her eyes searching his face. Then a slow smile spread across her lips. Jasper simply blinked.

The ladies departed, me following.

"That's one strange girl," I heard Jasper say from behind me as I entered the doorway.

"But pretty," I heard Emmett reply.

"Well, yes. But…" the rest of Jasper's words were lost as I descended the staircase following the ladies.

x~x

At supper, I watched Isabella and Mary Alice at the dais. Gone was the shy, frightened Mary Alice. In her place was another girl, looking most fetching, whose sole attention was placed upon Jasper sitting at a trestle table below along with me, Emmett, and other lords' sons.

"Why does she keep staring at me?" Jasper whispered.

Emmett shrugged. "You're not ugly. Perhaps she's set her sights on you."

"I'm better-looking than you, for sure," Jasper replied with a roll of his eyes. "She'd surely be dowered with much gold, and she's pretty, but…isn't she…you know…_odd_?"

"No more than most, I'm sure," I replied with a frown.

I'd felt the need to defend Mary Alice for some reason. Perhaps it was my natural desire to root for the underdog, even when they were facing me in battle.

"You could do worse," Emmett added.

"But I'm not looking for a wife," Jasper replied, sounding horrified at the prospect.

Emmett glanced up at Mary Alice, then to Jasper with a grin. "But it appears a wife may be looking for you." He then laughed.

"I need more wine," Jasper said in dismay as he reached for his cup. Finding it empty, he grabbed Emmett's and quickly drained it, then reached for mine.

I laughed as he gulped down the contents of my goblet as well. "There's not enough wine in the world to hide you from a woman who's set her sights on you."

The look on Jasper's face was priceless. "Miss!" he called to a passing serving wench. "More wine!" She went to pour some into his goblet, but he took the ewer from her hand. "I'll just keep this," he said as he filled his cup.

I shook my head with a grin as I dipped my bread into the beef juices on my trencher. Hearing a laugh, which I surely recognized by now, I rested my eyes upon Isabella as she shared a grin with her sister.

I quickly grabbed the ewer and filled my own goblet to the brim with wine. I heard Isabella laugh again and took a huge gulp of my drink. As I plunked back down my goblet, I was scowling, because once again this day, I had been disturbed by the thoughts running through my mind.

x~x

"I can't sleep inside?" I asked as Isabella went to close her door.

"Certainly not!"

"Can I at least have my bedding?"

She bent and snatched my things from the floor and shoved them into my arms with a huff.

"If you _must _sleep outside my door, I do request you not have any company of the female kind. I _do not_ wish to hear…that."

I squared my shoulders, slightly offended. "I would not do you the dishonor, my lady."

"Well…see that it stays that way," she replied quietly as she closed her door.

I stood there until I heard the bolt slide home, then I laid out my pallet and sat down upon it, leaning back against her door.

The thing was, and I wouldn't be sharing this with Emmett, I hadn't bedded a woman in a while. I'd been on the road, being my father's errand boy for the past six months, and my encounters with women had been nearly non-existent. For all my bravado and talk to Emmett, I'd kind of lost the desire for random encounters with women who were strangers to me.

Even the first night here at Castle Ostburn, I'd simply fallen asleep in that serving girl's arms, perhaps looking for comfort more than sex. Disappointed at my lack of attention, she had slipped out of my pallet in search of another man to give her what I hadn't.

I wondered at that, and what had changed in me. Was this what maturity was? Growing out of bad habits and behaviors and taking on respectability? How frightening that thought was. If I wasn't to be the Edward I had been before, then what was I? What would I become? Like my father? Staid and honest, a man people respected instead of feared? I had no idea how to be that kind of man, or if I even wanted to be that kind of man.

I wanted…I wasn't sure _what_ I wanted anymore, but I was beginning to realize what I _didn't _want any longer.

I heard Isabella moving around in her room, my mind traveling to what she could be doing. Unbraiding, then brushing her long, dark hair? Loosening her gown and then letting it slide down her hips? Gripping her chemise and then tugging it over her head? Taking a soft cloth and then lightly bathing her supple body?

I swallowed and closed my eyes, my cock stirring to life at those images in my mind. This would get me nowhere. Wanting a woman who was betrothed to another was foolish and fruitless, and could lead to nowhere. At least nowhere good.

I waited until I heard no more sounds from her room, and then I stretched out in front of her door, my sword by my side, my knife in my hand.

Isabella was mine to protect, and protect her I would.

As I closed my eyes, I heard Isabella's words from earlier in the day repeat in my mind. _But what of love…family…friendship? Are there not causes, ideas, people, worth sacrificing your life for? _

I knew the answer to that. The one I hadn't given her, would perhaps never give her, but still…I knew the answer.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

**The reception for this story has been fantastic. I'm simply thrilled by it! Sir Edward sends his best smolder as a thank you. ;)**

**Much love,**

**xxoo**

**Sunny**


	3. Chapter 3

**I truly need to show my love and appreciation to Lynzlee and GeekChic12, my pre-reader and beta. They are a tremendous help and such sweeties, both of them! One of them had me giggling in the Target parking lot over an e-mail about my chapter. Pretty much made my day. Haha!**

**SM owns all things Twilight, but the contents of this story belong to me.**

* * *

**White Shadows**

**Chapter 3**

"Sit, Sunhaven," Sir Charles ordered me with a motion to the padded seat across from him.

Once I had lowered myself into the chair, he leaned back and studied me.

"You've taken this protection of my daughter to heart, it seems."

"Yes, of course."

"Still, I don't remember giving you permission to take my daughter from the castle," he said with a frown.

"You put her under my protection. Therefore, I didn't realize your permission was necessary."

His jaw ticked in anger, but then he shrugged. "See that you're accompanied, then."

I curtly nodded.

"Tell me, Sunhaven, when was the last time you were at court?"

"Court? That would be four months ago."

"And how did you find our King and his family?"

"They were well when I left there."

Ostburn twisted his lips, clearly displeased about something.

"I haven't been to court in a year. I assume you've heard that I'd hoped to betroth Isabella to the Prince Phillip, but alas, that wasn't to be."

"I don't think a woman like your daughter would be happy at Stronghaven nor enjoy the formalities of court life."

He positively glared at me this time. "I couldn't care less what would make her happy. Daughters are to be given to whomever will make the best alliance for their houses. Nothing more."

"A man's lot in life is far easier, it seems. At least we're considered human beings, not chattel to be sold off to the highest bidder."

Perhaps I'd gone too far with that statement, but I never was one to hold with this 'women were dispensable' notion.

He snorted, but there was no humor in that laugh. "What's this? Soft-hearted rubbish from the almighty 'Slayer'? The notorious womanizer?"

I ignored that gibe. "Tell me, Ostburn, why did you not pursue a betrothal between our two houses?"

"Yours is a southern house. My girls will only wed northern men."

"The King's house is a southern one, yet you were willing to give her to Phillip," I reminded him.

"To put her in line to be queen! Surely even you are intelligent enough to see the difference. Wedding her to you would have brought me nothing."

I slowly arose. "So. The crown is what you want."

"Watch yourself, boy. You speak treason there."

"Ah, but isn't that what we've been dancing around all along, Ostburn?"

I held his eyes, until he jerked his head away. He grabbed a goblet, sloshing wine into it.

"Leave me."

I had my hand on the door as I heard him plunk down his goblet.

"Sunhaven."

I turned around and faced him.

"My daughter is a maiden. Make sure she stays that way."

I didn't reply, just closed the door behind me a bit too hard. As if I'd bed a maiden that was betrothed to another. A lesser man would have died for that insult I'd just been given.

Turning to the left, I started off toward Lady Ostburn's solar but decided I needed more to speak to my friends. Isabella was there amongst her mother, sister, and other ladies visiting the castle, so I was somewhat assured of her safety for the moment.

I marched down the stairs looking for Emmett and Jasper.

"Come with me," I said to them both as I passed them standing together outside the door to the bailey.

They silently followed me out the gate and to the open ground surrounding the castle. Once there, I flung myself down in the grass. I looked up at both of them, a frown etched upon my countenance.

"Something is going on."

Jasper rested his hand on the pommel of his sword. "What do you mean? Trouble?"

"Every instinct of mine is telling me that this whole thing - Isabella's betrothal to Pryefort, the summoning of the prominent families in the region to here, and my father's 'gift' of me to Ostburn, is not what it seems. Also, I just had the most enlightening conversation with Ostburn."

"The only houses here besides Jasper's, yours, and mine are northerners," Emmett noted.

I rested my hand on my bent knee as I nodded. "Yes. Odd that, don't you think?"

"Ostburn wouldn't be fool enough. Not without a powerful ally…"

Emmett's voice trailed off as we all met each other's eyes, knowing immediately what the other was thinking.

"What will you do?" Jasper asked.

"I'm going to wait and see how this plays out. Prince Phillip is sickly and most likely not long for this world. If King Alfred dies without an heir…"

"It seems someone isn't willing to wait for that outcome."

"And since the King refused a betrothal between Phillip and Isabella-"

"Ostburn was insulted and is looking for revenge," Emmett stated.

"Yes."

"Insulted enough to bring the country to war?" Emmett asked.

"Of that I'm unsure. My father must've gotten wind of this possible plot. I wish he would've trusted me with what he'd found out. The question is, what was it he wished me to do?"

Emmett's brow furrowed. "It's clear that your father wanted you close to Lady Isabella."

"To what purpose?" I asked.

"I see only two answers," Emmett replied.

"And those would be?" I asked.

"To either save her life or…"

"_Or_?" I growled in impatience.

"Or to wed her yourself."

I gaped at Emmett and then leapt to my feet.

"She's _betrothed_. By all the laws of the land, she's already wed to Marsh. You wish me to start a war over a _woman_?"

"Wars have been started over less. No matter anyway what you do with Lady Isabella, I believe that war is coming."

I shook my head at Emmett. "You can't know that for certain."

Jasper had been silent all this time, carefully attending to our conversation.

"I can. King Alfred has been secretly raising an army," Jasper added quietly.

I swung my face to him.

Jasper continued on. "Ostburn, Marsh at Pryefort, Andel, and the other powerful northern houses will unite. The southern houses have held the crown for a hundred years. That's an eternity to these hardened northerners. Your father, Edward, clearly wanted you here in the middle of all this. To what end, we cannot know for certain. I do see, now that you are here, Ostburn will use you somehow to force Alfred's hand. This has been a smoldering ember for quite some time, but the fire is there, ready to burn all of Oaklea. All that's needed to set off the all consuming fire is…a spark."

"_I will not be that spark_," I replied vehemently.

"It seems that it doesn't matter. I have a feeling that you'll be used to be that spark whether you act or not," Jasper answered.

"So no matter what actions I take or _don't _take, I'm damned." I glared at the castle. "I wish to the gods that I'd never set eyes upon this place."

"That statement rings false to my ears," Jasper said. "At least speak truth, Edward. If not to us, your friends, then to yourself."

I scowled at Jasper. "This is insanity. She's just a woman." I scrubbed my hand through my hair as I looked to the ground.

"No woman is 'just' a woman," Emmett replied. "And perhaps Lady Isabella is a little more special than most."

I frowned and kept my eyes averted. My thoughts on Isabella were my own and not to be given away, even to friends.

"But…if you feel this strongly about it," Emmett continued, "go to Ostburn. Ask Sir Charles to release you from his service or to remove yourself from protection of his daughter. Leave here. Remove yourself from this mess and leave Lady Isabella's fate in someone else's hands. It's as simple as that."

I adjusted my sword and then tugged down my tunic before I looked to my two friends awaiting my reply.

"It's not that simple at all. I'm a man of my word. I'm charged with protecting Lady Isabella. I made a vow."

"Vows can be broken," Jasper said quietly.

I looked at Jasper, my expression hard. "No, they can't. I vowed my life for hers…and so it shall be."

Both men were silent for several heartbeats.

"So it seems that there_ is_ someone worth sacrificing your life for," Emmett said with a small grin.

"Don't," I said to him, my voice rough. "Not about this. Never about this."

Emmett blinked and then nodded. "Forgive me, friend. I misspoke."

"Done. Let us not speak of this again."

Emmett reached out and gripped my shoulder, his eyes full of understanding. I did not want that, though. I wanted nothing from anyone at that moment. Nothing at all.

I spun and headed for the castle with long, ground-eating strides. I'd left Isabella alone long enough. It was time to check on the welfare of my charge.

x~x

I'd been in a foul mood for days. I'd trained endlessly in the lists, when not keeping a close eye on Isabella, who had been reluctantly preparing for our journey. The fighting only helped relieve so much of my frustration. I still found myself lying on my pallet outside of Isabella's door at night, eyes wide open in sleeplessness.

Perhaps it was a certain conversation that haunted me, stealing my sleep and troubling my mind. For two days ago, I'd found Isabella standing over her open trunk, simply staring down at the contents. The expression upon her face when she had turned and met my eyes had been enough to make me blanch.

"I don't know why I bother," she'd quietly spoken. "Knowing my disposition, I'll fight him on our wedding night unwilling to allow him my body, and he'll kill me. I'll hardly have use for all my things…then."

"You've many skills, and I'm helping you hone them. Remember all I taught you and …" I'd trailed off, realizing how stupid I'd sounded. That would be her husband that I'd been discussing, not some brigand.

"And? What? Kill him? His men would simply drag me out to the bailey, take turns repeatedly raping me, and only then would they end my life…if not torturing me first. Tell me another option, Sunhaven. Tell me, in what conclusion of this do you see me living until year's end?"

"You could always…submit to him. Be a docile and obedient wife." The words had come out nearly garbled, as if spoken through ashes in my mouth.

She had slammed the trunk shut, resting her palms upon the lid. Her expression when she'd turned to me had been incredulous. "_Me_? Me, be docile and obedient? Are you mad? I'd rather die than let him break my spirit!"

_You may get your wish_, I'd thought as I'd titled my head down, hiding my eyes.

"It doesn't matter. I'm off to bed. I only see one other option here, but I'd not live through that either. It seems my young life is forfeit. So be it. Good eve, Edward of Sunhaven," she'd said quietly as she handed me my bedroll and then latched her door.

I'd stood there staring at that closed door until I heard the next bell. Only then did I stretch out and begin my first of sleepless nights.

x~x

This morning I had been especially agitated. I'd needed to get out of this damned castle. I curtly told Isabella to prepare for fight training, impatiently waiting for her to don her leggings and gather her weapons. As soon as she was ready, I grasped her elbow and nearly dragged her down the stairs out to the stable.

She'd not even protested this rough handling of her, which she'd had every right to do. That added to my foul mood. I wanted her to fight. I wanted her to never bow or be broken by any man.

I noticed her cast more than one passing glance at me, but I tried to ignore her as we rode out from the castle, followed closely by Emmett and Jasper. Suddenly, another rider flew up beside Isabella.

"I'm coming as well," Rosalie of Snowden announced.

I raised my eyebrows but curtly nodded.

We continued on to the practice meadow, Emmett reaching there first and leaping from his saddle. He ran over to Rosalie.

"Allow me to assist you down, my lady."

She kicked her foot out at him. "I can get down from my own horse. Why do you persist in bothering me, Emmett of Goldcliff?"

"That's the question I keep asking myself," he muttered as he stepped back out of her way.

She slid down and then walked out into the middle of the lea. She folded her hands together as she chanted something too low for anyone to hear. She then performed some short hand ritual and then flung both arms out to her sides, her palms out.

I met Isabella's eyes, but she had no more answers than me.

This odd ceremony over, Rosalie walked to Isabella as she pulled her bow from over her shoulder. "There. We won't be disturbed. Care to have a contest, Lady Isabella? I promise it'll be fair."

"What do you mean?" Isabella asked.

"I won't use any magic," Rosalie replied, as if the answer was obvious.

"Lady Rosalie. You must be careful! They _drown_ witches," Isabella warned her.

Rosalie laughed. "Well, let them try. I think they would be sore sorry."

A small smile played about Isabella's lips. "Something tells me they would be. Come. Let's see who has the greater prowess with the bow." She led her away as they discussed distance and target.

I swung my eyes to Jasper and Emmett.

"No wonder I'm getting nowhere with that woman," Emmett groaned. "She's using some sort of spell to resist my charms!"

I shook my head, but heaviness still sat upon me. Jasper, however, found this vastly amusing and laughed.

"Yes, that must be it," Jasper said through his laughing.

Emmett was nearly pouting as he stomped away toward the ladies.

"Oh, I'm so glad I journeyed here!" Jasper said with grin. "Between you with Lady Isabella, and Emmett with Lady Rosalie, it's been quite amusing."

I sent him a warning look as I wrapped my hand around the grip of my sword.

Jasper backed away while holding his palms up toward me. "Message received."

"I'd think you'd be concerning yourself more with Lady Mary Alice."

He shook his head. "Nothing to concern myself with at all. I'm leaving with you to travel to Pryefort for I feel you'll need someone to watch your back. Whatever she has planned will be over."

"If you say so," I mildly replied as I turned and walked away toward the rest.

Jasper quickly followed me. "I'm not looking for a wife!" Jasper stated.

"Sure," I replied.

"I'm not," he repeated.

"Whatever you say, Jasper," I called back to him.

After the archery contest, which Isabella easily won, Jasper and Emmett both insisted they try their hand at besting her. I sat in the grass and merely observed them, my mood still foul. Lady Rosalie came and sat down beside me, offering me a wineskin, which I refused.

"All will work out in the end."

Startled, I turned my face to Lady Rosalie. "What?"

"Can you read and write?"

I wondered at her odd speaking and question. "Yes."

"Here." She handed me a corner of a ripped piece of parchment. "Write down one word, _only _one word."

"Why?"

"Because it's what you want. Write it now, you'll know the right one, and then fold that up and give it back to me. That word will be everything, so you must write it in your blood."

This woman was mad. "Sorcery?" I asked in distaste.

"Magic. Nothing harmful, I swear. Write it, Edward of Sunhaven, and then give it back to me. Hurry."

I held her eyes for one long moment, and then I twisted away from her. Without thinking about what I was doing or the consequences of my actions, I pulled out my dagger and pricked my finger. I then wrote one word on the parchment with the tip of my knife. I folded it down as small as it would go and handed it back over to Lady Rosalie without meeting her eyes.

She spoke words under her breath, in a low chant, and then suddenly the parchment was aflame, quickly burnt to fluttering ashes on the wind.

I was shocked and a little fearful. _What was this woman_? _What had I done_?

"It's set, then. No turning back. You understand this, don't you?"

"It's been set," I curtly replied.

"Yes, for some time now."

I leapt to my feet.

"It's time to go!" I called to the others.

I needed…I needed…_damn it_. I needed to feel comfortable in my own skin again. Closed in my own mind again, protected by my cocky demeanor and fighting prowess. I needed to be myself again, and not this man I was evolving into.

As I spun to head toward Moonspawn, I turned back to her, feeling I needed to even the debt.

"You could do worse, you know. He's a good man. He'd defend you to his death." It was the highest compliment I could give another man.

"Yes. I know," Rosalie of Snowden quietly replied with a warm smile. "And he will be mine. The goddess has spoken. But what fun would it be if I simply gave in?"

For the first time that day, I felt a small smile upon my lips. "What fun, indeed?"

x~x

When I awoke the next morn to the sounds of Isabella moving around in her room, I realized I'd slept the full night through for the first time in days. I felt refreshed, as if a weight had been lifted from me. I hopped up, sheathed my knife and sword, rolled up my bedding, and smoothed back my long hair. I awaited her with a relaxed grin.

Isabella's face when she opened her chamber door registered surprise. I handed her my bedding which she quickly placed in her room and then closed the door behind her.

"You look positively cheerful this morn. Sleep well?" she asked.

"Well enough. I'd have slept better with company," I replied, feeling my old self wanting to come out and play.

She had begun walking toward the stairs but paused at my words. She turned her head, sending me a long-suffering look.

"I thought we'd gotten past such nonsense. You're not that charming and attractive, you know. You're not irresistible."

"Try me," I challenged her.

"I think you've been 'tried' enough. You must positively be a master at it by now."

I was full-out grinning then.

"So I've been told. And what do you mean I'm not charming and attractive? I'll have you know that half the women in Oaklea would kill to be in your place."

"My place?"

"Under my…protection," I replied with a hint of my smolder.

"Is this going to continue on through the breaking of our fast? If so, I need to use the privy and be sick now, so I don't waste my food."

"I don't understand why I can't charm you. I've never met a woman, not one, that I couldn't win over."

She patted my arm. "There, there. It's all right. It stings getting old, doesn't it? But I'm proud to be the first in a long line of women that your charms have failed upon."

"I'm not _old_," I replied in horror.

She just steadily gazed at me.

"I'm not! I'm young and handsome and virile! I can prove it to you."

She backed up with a laugh, holding her palm up. "That's quite all right. I'll just take your word for it."

Her eyes were dancing, her pale cheeks holding a hint of color, and she looked like about the best thing I'd ever set my eyes upon.

I reached out and yanked her against me, my lips pressed to hers. I kissed her sweet lips, coaxing a response from her, coercing her to open to me. Something clicked in my brain, and I felt the smile upon my lips as she fell into our kiss, slumping against me. Then I released her, stepping back and trying not to show her what that kiss had just done to me.

I could see what it had done to _her_ and it made me want to kiss her again. And again. And yet, again.

She was standing there all dreamy-eyed, but then her face cleared, anger replacing the softness in her expression.

"I gave you no leave to touch my person!" she hissed out in anger.

"I know, and I beg your forgiveness, my lady," I replied softly.

She threw her hands up in frustration. "Oh! Why must you always bother me like this! You must be the most annoying, frustrating, and confusing man that's ever lived!"

I kept my silence, knowing there was nothing more I could say that would ease her anger.

"Fine. Keep your words! Come, let's eat; then we're off to practice some more with sword play."

I merely bowed slightly and then held out my arm, offering her to go first to the stairs.

I followed her downstairs, her long braid interwoven with gold ribbons to match her dress, bouncing below me.

For the first time since I'd set foot in this damned castle, I felt peace within myself. I didn't wonder at that, for I had my answer. I'd made my choice.

Isabella turned at the bottom of the stairs and held out her hand for my arm. I offered her my elbow and then guided her to an empty trestle table. We shared a morning trencher of bread and cheese, along with a couple mugs of ale.

I glanced to Emmett and Jasper, the first nearly doting on Rosalie, the second trying his best to not look at Mary Alice who was gazing at him with stars in her eyes. I curtly nodded to both of them with a small grin, which they reciprocated.

It was done. I needed to speak to Tormund and set things in motion. He'd been near bored to tears here anyway, so it was just as well.

Isabella plunked down her mug and then sent me a challenging look. "You ready?"

I arose and stepped over the bench, offering her my hand. She slid hers into mine as I gently clasped her fingers.

"I'm ready."

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

**Much love,**

**Sunny**

_A few notes:_

_Carlisle is NOT Edward's father in this story, he is not the Lord of Sunhaven. He will, however, have a part in this story._

_Lord's names and places are interchangeable. For example; Marsh's holding is Pryefort, therefore he can be called either Marsh or Pryefort. Still the same person. _

_Rosalie is a 'witch' though I prefer the term 'sorceress'. The magic she performs in this story is totally of my creation._

_Feel free to PM me with any questions you might have. I promise to do my best to answer them all._


	4. Chapter 4

**Many, many thank you's to my beta, GeekChic12, for all your time and effort. I can't stress enough how good of a beta you are. And Lynzlee, my pre-reader, you're beyond helpful, especially at pointing out stupid mistakes I make and you never cease to make me giggle. Much love to you both.**

**SM owns all things Twilight. I own the contents of this story.**

* * *

**White Shadows**

**Chapter 4**

I paused outside of Isabella's door at the sound of rapid whispering. Pressing myself against the wall, I tried to overhear the heated exchange.

"…it'll work!" That sounded like Mary Alice.

"…danger…insanity…" was all I could catch of Isabella's reply.

"He's listening," Mary Alice said in her regular speaking voice.

"I should have known," I heard Isabella sigh. "He's always lurking about. We know you're there, Sunhaven."

I was frowning as I stepped into Isabella's chamber. "How did you know I was there?"

Mary Alice's expression was sly. "Nothing much is hidden from me. How much did you hear?"

I shrugged. "Not much. What are you two plotting?"

"Why nothing. Nothing at all. Can't two sisters simply converse?" Mary Alice answered sweetly.

I glanced between Mary Alice's innocent-looking face and then to Isabella's amused one.

"Women are bloody scary creatures," I muttered.

Mary Alice laughed as she strode past me. Before I could blink, she was behind me, a knife at my throat. "I would say we're quite…frightening. Guard my sister well, Sunhaven. Vow it to me now!"

I almost laughed out loud. This waif of a woman thought she was any threat whatsoever to me? I could easily disarm her within a heartbeat, but I found myself curious as to her motives. I crossed my arms and allowed this to play out, greatly impressed by both her speed and element of surprise.

"Alice! Let him go!" Isabella implored her sister. "Don't injure him. Please."

"I'll get that vow out of him first," Mary Alice replied firmly.

It would give her some peace, and it would cost me nothing to answer her request. My gaze locked with Isabella's. "My life for hers. I so swear it by all the gods."

Isabella blinked, and then her mouth fell open with a slight gasp.

Within one heartbeat, Mary Alice was beside me again. "By all the gods," she repeated and then she was gone.

"What in Telleor's name was that?"

"Please don't be angry with her. She's…she's different. She was only worried for my safety," Isabella pleaded.

"I got that, and I'm not angry, but where did she learn to use a knife like that?"

Isabella turned from me, hugging her sides. "We've trained together in the dungeons or any empty room we could find to not be discovered. She was always better than me with a sword and dagger. Ever since I've been training with you, I've been showing her your techniques."

"When? I've seen no sign of this," I replied with a frown. I thought I knew what this woman did from the time she awoke to the time she retired to bed, but it seemed I was mistaken.

"When?" She blinked and bit her lip.

"Yes. _When_?" I repeated in annoyance.

"Oh. Perhaps we don't enjoy needlework, and perhaps Alice and I slip out of Mother's solar…"

I exploded in anger. "You're supposed to stay safe with your mother until I return to you from the lists!"

"I know! I always make sure Gertha alerts us to your return so that I'm there awaiting you when you come for me."

I threw my hands up in frustration. "How can I keep you safe if you're not where you're supposed to be?"

"This is my home! I'm safe here, you overbearing watchdog!" she shouted as she shook her fist at me.

"You can't know that!" I shouted in return.

Silence fell between us, both eyeing the other in anger and frustration.

"Why are we yelling at each other?" she asked, suddenly amused and wearing a grin upon her face.

"I have no idea. It's like we both just went mad," I replied with a chuckle as I slumped down into a chair. "Mary Alice was always welcome to train with us, you know."

Isabella shook her head. "She says she'll only leave the castle when she's never returning here again."

"I see. You call her Alice?"

She slightly shrugged her shoulder. "She's never cared much for the name 'Mary', so I've always called her that." She walked over to stand in front of me, her expression now serious and troubled. "Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"The vow you made."

I held her eyes as I arose. "Every word."

"Because of duty…chivalry?" she then whispered.

"No." My gaze traveled over her face. "No."

She averted her eyes as the silence stretched between us. "If I asked you to do something for me, Edward of Sunhaven, would you do it?"

"I would have to know the nature of this something first."

Her eyes met mine again. "Tell me where your loyalty lies. With your house, my father, the King…"

"At this moment?"

She curtly nodded.

"The answer to that question would be…with you."

"What have I done to earn such loyalty?" she asked with a quizzical brow.

I held her eyes but kept my silence.

"Keeping your words again, I see."

I shrugged.

"Fine." She strode around me and closed her door. She then took my hand and tugged me deep into her chamber near the window. "This is what I wish from you. I never plan to make it to Pryefort. I ask you to either help me escape along the way…or make sure I'm dead before we reach there."

_So, here it is_.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them again, it was to find Isabella closely watching my face.

I laid my hands on her shoulders as I leaned down close to her. "Marsh will never have you, my lady. _I swear this to you._"

Sudden tears sprung to her eyes, threatening to overflow and cascade down her pale cheeks.

"Edward of Sunhaven, you have my gratitude and my trust, but I ask too much. What I request of you could be your ruin."

I stepped back from her, shaking my head. "My fate is my own and not for you to concern yourself with."

"Ever?"

I took another step back. "It's late. You should retire, my lady."

"Will there ever come a time when you give me even the tiniest piece of yourself?"

The silence stretched for ten heartbeats.

"What if I simply take it anyway?" she whispered as she held my eyes.

"You'll have to, for I'll never ever give it willingly," was my solemn reply.

"And what of this?" she asked as she flung herself against me and pressed her lips to mine.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself a few glorious moments of her sweet innocence, and then I was practically running toward her door. I grabbed my bedroll, then paused in the doorway and glanced back at her. "Good eve, Isabella."

Her face was full of questions, but I had no answers to give her. I had nothing I could give her at all.

"Good eve, Edward."

I closed the door behind me and awaited the sound of her sliding the bolt in place. Hearing that, I laid out my pallet and leaned back against her door, listening to her get ready for sleep as I did every night. Only when she was all quiet did I stretch out, gripping my dagger close to my chest.

_Will there ever come a time when you give me even the tiniest piece of yourself?_

A humorless laugh choked out of me. _Oh, Isabella of Ostburn, if you only knew. If only you knew._

I was certain, even if she hadn't realized the fact yet, that by aiding her escape my life would be beyond ruin. It would be forfeit. How could I give her anything of myself when I was a condemned man? How could I tie her to me only to have her wrenched away again? No…no. I would get her to safety, someplace she'd never be found, and then…and then...

I closed my eyes tightly. I could not dwell on _then_. First, we had to live through the time to come. The after…who knew what the outcome of all this would be, how this would alter us? We both may die in the process, but first…first…_we'll live_.

x~x

I sat at the trestle table, desolately picking at the evening repast on my trencher. My eyes, of their own accord, kept drifting to the dais and the beautiful woman seated there. Even though she may have had my attention, you'd not think I was alive to her for she never looked my way once.

Things between her and I had become strained as of late. Since the night of her request, we'd barely conversed beyond simple pleasantries and short sentences. Truthfully, I was a bit confused. As many women as I'd known and spent time with, I'd had a dawning realization that I had no idea how their minds worked.

I scowled down at my trencher, shoving the meat with the point of my dagger. My mind drifted to the journey we would soon be undertaking. It was a far simpler subject than Isabella at the moment.

Things were settled, the food for the humans and horses alike readied for the long journey. Day after next was our departure day. Tomorrow there was to be a simple blessing ceremony for safe travels by the priest of Telleor who was in residence at the castle.

I took this as a favorable omen. Telleor, the most powerful of the gods, the father of the gods, was a favorite of mine. I wasn't a religious man, but it couldn't hurt to have a god on your side. Anything that helped weigh the odds in my favor was good enough for me. But then, Telleor was also the god of the void…of death, I reminded myself. Perhaps that was fitting as well.

My mind had been so lost in thought, that it took a moment to realize that the great hall had fallen silent. I lifted my head to find the reason for this and observed Lady Rosalie in the middle of the floor, facing Ostburn, a determined look upon her face.

"Yes, Rosalie of Snowden? You wished to speak?" Sir Charles asked.

"I do. This is your dwelling, so I must ask your pardon."

"For?"

Rosalie straightened her shoulders and announced bravely, "I wish for the binding!"

A hushed, excited murmur ran through the room. I hadn't witnessed a binding in many a year. Most women weren't brave enough to attempt it, for the penalty was high if the woman's choice refused her. She could be condemned a spinster and sent off to be an acolyte in the house of the god of her father's choosing. A refusal from the mate of her choice could bring a lifetime of loneliness and sorrow. A woman had to be very sure of the man's affections she chose to claim.

I'd always admired women who attempted this. It gave a woman a choice, a chance at true love, true happiness, if she was able to snatch it before her father wedded her off to the lord of his choice. Only the brave and bold attempted the binding, but as I had come to somewhat know Rosalie of Snowden, she appeared to be both. And perhaps she knew better than anyone that my friend sitting beside me, profound astonishment upon his face, would accept being bound.

"I see," Sir Charles replied. "Snowden. Will you allow this?" he asked her father.

Snowden stood up and then exhaled a long-suffering sigh. "As if I could stop her. I pray to the gods that she's chosen well," he muttered as he took his seat again.

Sir Charles' eyes fell back upon Rosalie. "May I ask the name of the mate you've chosen?"

"Sir Emmett of Goldcliff."

"_Gods be_," Emmett whispered in wonder, then shot up over the bench and strode over beside Rosalie.

"Emmett of Goldcliff, this woman has chosen you. What is your reply?" Sir Charles asked, sounding almost amused. My shocked eyes flew to Ostburn. I had found the man to be humorless and heartless. Surely that couldn't be a near grin he was hiding.

Emmett was still for a moment, studying the rigid profile of the woman beside him. Then he stepped in front of her and whispered something to her too low for us to hear. She curtly nodded in reply and then raised her right palm high. Emmett slowly raised his hand and laid it flush against Rosalie's.

He took a deep breath and then he began to speak. "I will walk…"

"…where you walk," Rosalie finished.

"I will journey…"

"…where you journey."

"I will dwell…"

"…where you dwell."

"My heart and my body are yours," they said in tandem. "By all the gods, you are mine, and nothing but death may separate us."

I had been observing all this closely, but I found my eyes, by their own will, turning their gaze upon Isabella. I was startled to find her gaze fixed steadily upon me. Unable to deal with my thoughts, and the depths of her probing brown eyes, I looked away.

The priest of Telleor, a bald little man with a hunched back, scampered over to them, the black robes of his god swirling about him. He held a long piece of rope which he began to loop around their then intertwined hands.

As the priest wove the rope, he began to chant. "By Pynter, god of the air! By Bellyn, god of the water! By Amadayea, goddess of all living things! By Fyvyn, god of fire! And by Telleor, god of the void, god of death, god of gods, I swear these two are now one and bound for all of eternity!" His weaving finished, he briefly touched each of their foreheads and then sang out the call to his god. "Telleor, almighty god of gods! I ask your blessing upon these two persons as you make them one. Telleor Ashakyrae!"

"Telleor Ashakyrae!" the room echoed, and then there was silence as the priest slipped away, scuttling like a beetle back to his trencher.

Emmett was gazing at Rosalie, wonder upon his face; then a wide grin split across his countenance. He lifted their joined hands to much applause. I glanced at Isabella to find her watching me again. I quickly looked away.

"Well, my lady. I do believe you need to find a chamber for this newly married couple," Sir Charles announced as he glanced to his wife. She nodded at him and then hastily summoned a serving maid over, giving her instructions.

Ostburn arose and held out his hands. "This calls for a celebration!"

The room erupted in a roar of approval. Emmett and Rosalie were picked up and paraded around as goblets of wine and sweetmeats were pressed to their lips. Both were laughing as Emmett tried to keep their bodies close in the jostling crowd as their hands were still bound, and would remain so, until he bedded her.

Emmett leaned over and gave Rosalie a smacking kiss to bawdy cheering, and then impromptu dancing broke out. My eyes looked to Isabella again, but she wasn't looking my way this time. In truth, she was gone. Damn it. I leapt up to head to her chamber.

"The chamber is prepared best we could on this short notice!" Lady Ostburn called out as I headed up the stairs. Cheers rose up from the crowd as I heard them head toward the stairs. I paced to Isabella's closed door, standing in front of it as the crowd hit the landing and thankfully turned to the left, following Lady Ostburn, dragging Emmett and Rosalie in the midst of them.

Once the couple had been placed in their chamber, the crowd called out bawdy remarks and suggestions to which Emmett had some amusing and impolite replies. Finally, Lady Ostburn ended this by firmly closing the door and shooing everyone toward the stairs. The group made a mad dash back downstairs, excited chatter following them.

Once everyone had departed and the hallway was silent again, I quietly rapped on Isabella's door. After a moment, it slowly swung open.

"Yes?"

"Are you all right, my lady?"

"Fine. I'm fine," she said through tight lips.

"You don't seem fine," I muttered.

"And what do you care, Sunhaven?" she asked, sounding angry.

I ran a hand back through my hair. "I…well…I…"

"_Yes_?" she asked, then pursed her lips.

"Have I offended you, my lady?"

"And why would I be offended?"

I sighed. Women, in truth, were complicated creatures.

"I don't know," I muttered, biting back a curse.

I heard the sound of someone clomping up the stairs. I turned to see who approached, but Isabella grabbed my arm and yanked me inside her chamber, slamming the door behind me.

I arched my eyebrow at this rough handling of myself.

"And why would I be? I mean, you bed half the women in the kingdom, but refuse _my_ kiss? Really? Why would I be offended?"

I was near gaping at her then. "You're angry because of _that_?"

"Well…yes," she replied, her anger gone and her cheeks coloring in embarrassment then. She dropped her eyes, gazing at the floor.

"So…you wish me…to kiss you?" I asked slowly.

I couldn't keep up with this woman. When I had kissed her, she'd been angry at my impudence. Then she'd kissed _me_, which I'd quickly ended, and she hadn't seemed angry about it then. But then, women very rarely tended to react as expected, and this one seemed more contrary than most.

"Can you really be that dense?" she asked

"Apparently I can. What is it you wish of me, Isabella? I need to understand what this is about."

"I simply wish for you to kiss me. I don't know what the days to come will bring, but I do know for certain that I'd not miss an opportunity like this."

"Like this?"

"Oh, you give _nothing_ away, do you? Why must I be the one to pry the words out of your head?"

"I told you that I wouldn't ever willingly give you anything of myself," I reminded her.

"Forget it. Forget I ever said anything. We'll continue on as before. It was just me being foolish," she replied softly as her chin dropped.

I fought an entire battle inside my head, before admitting defeat. _God's be. This woman_.

I reached out and placed a finger under her chin, raising her face back to mine. "You're so beautiful. You should never hide your face," I said softly.

She was the silent one then, keeping her words, as I leaned my head down and gently brushed my lips across hers. "Better?" I murmured against her softness.

She tentatively reached her arms up around my neck as she pressed her body to mine. "Better," was her soft sigh, before I took her lips for a deep kiss. I slowly explored her sweet mouth and all its joys as my hands softly caressed her sides. My fingers roamed up near her breasts, but I checked myself and slid them back down to her waist. This was just supposed to be a kiss, nothing more.

She sighed, and slid her hands down my back, holding my body hostage to hers. A roar began in my head, making me feel dizzy, as if I'd drank too much wine. My traitorous heart was beating a mad tempo in my chest, sending my blood rushing through my veins. I'd never felt anything like this in my life. Nothing like it. Nothing like her.

_God's be. I had to rein myself in before I went too far._

I regretfully released her lips. My eyes studied her face, trying to gauge her reaction.

"Better now?"

She merely nodded her head, looking a bit stunned.

"Now, my lady, I do believe you need some rest. I'll be right outside your door, watching over you and keeping you safe. Good eve, Isabella."

"Wait." I felt her press her lips to my cheek. I nearly closed my eyes and gathered her into my embrace.

_No. Stop._

I turned away, grabbing my bedroll. I sent her one last glance before I closed the door behind me.

As I lay down to sleep that night, I thought about what had occurred that day in the meadow and about the word I had written down. I'd already gotten more than I had bargained for, more than I deserved.

But then, I felt a chill remembering what Rosalie had said to me yesterday. She had reiterated that my course was set and reminded me that there would be a price to be paid.

Suddenly I heard the bolt slide on Isabella's door and then the door swung open. She stood there in her night rail, her long hair in waves hanging down all around her shoulders.

My heart thumped hard as I sat up and took her in.

"Is something the matter?" I asked as I scrambled standing, my sword in hand.

"No. No. I…I just wanted to wish you good eve and pleasant dreams."

"Oh." I fiddled with my sword and tried not to stare at her in all her breathtaking beauty that was making me dizzy again. "Well, then pleasant dreams to you, my lady."

"Bella."

I blinked and felt my heart thump hard in my chest again. "Bella," I breathed out.

She stepped back and slowly pushed the door to, holding my eyes the entire time.

As I lay back down to sleep, I realized I didn't care what the price was that had to be paid. I hadn't cared for some time. _Fool_, I said to myself, but was I grinning as I did.

x~x

"God's be. Why do you have so many things?" I asked Bella as I watched yet another trunk be loaded upon a cart. She was ignoring me though; all her attention was upon that rather large, ugly trunk.

"Be careful! And don't jostle it! The contents are fragile," Bella admonished the weary servants.

Only after that last trunk was placed upon the cart, and the gate tied firmly shut, did she turn to me.

"I need what I need, Sunhaven. I'm a woman of some wealth heading to her husband. My dowry must be impressive."

I held her eyes for a moment before I turned away. "So you say. We leave at the next bell. Best make your farewells to your family."

"I already have. I'm ready to depart."

"Where is that sister of yours? I thought she'd be here to see you off."

Bella shook her head, looking down in sadness. "She's locked in her chamber, overcome with grief of our parting."

I had nothing whatsoever to reply to that, so I turned and barked out orders to the captain of Ostburn's house guard that would be accompanying us on our journey. I watched as he bellowed orders to the company of twenty men who scrambled to do his bidding. I looked to Jasper, who was waiting beside his horse, and then to Emmett and Rosalie, who were both waiting to depart as well.

I strode over to Emmett, gripping his arm and pulling him aside. "You don't have to accompany me, you know. Take your wife home to Goldcliff. Your mother will be laying an offering of thanks at the altar of every god to find you wed."

Emmett chuckled. "My wife says we're to journey with you, and as I've learned already, I should perhaps heed her."

I looked him over and then shook my head.

"What?" he asked in bewilderment.

"I was checking to see if you had on a dress underneath your chainmail."

"Very funny," he replied sourly as he punched my arm.

"Just wondering if Rosalie took your bollocks when you bedded her."

"No, I have other uses for those," Rosalie said, making a sudden appearance at Emmet's side. "Perhaps you should attend to your duties lest I find some spell of mine that would render your own bollocks as tiny as grapes, Edward of Sunhaven."

My eyes got wide as I began to back away. "Forgive me, my lady. I meant no offense."

I could hear Emmett's laugh as I high-tailed it away from them. I didn't care. I'd seen Rosalie's magic in action. Her threat was most likely not an empty one.

I went to assist Bella onto her horse, but she swung into the saddle, as if born to it, before I could reach her. I stepped back, trying not to be too obvious at how she drew my eyes to her. I was used to her leggings by now, but that didn't stop me from admiring the view…every…single…time.

"Ready, sir?" the captain of the guard asked.

I swung my head about to check that all were in their saddles and the drivers ready on the seats of their carts.

"One moment," I replied to him as I spied Sir Charles standing at the top of the bailey stairs, his eyes hard upon his daughter. I leapt into my saddle and rode over to him, trying to calm Moonspawn down, who was dancing in impatience. Ostburn strode down to me and grabbed the reins, holding Moonspawn steady.

"_You will keep her safe_," he forcefully stated too low for anyone else to hear.

"I swear by my life."

"Swear by hers," he replied, his voice rough with emotion.

We held gazes for one long moment, me trying to understand what he was saying.

"I so swear."

He curtly nodded, then let go of the reins and stepped back.

I urged Moonspawn over beside Bella's horse. "My lady?"

She glanced back at her parents and then turned back to me with a nod.

"Fall in!" I called with a forward sweep of my arm.

Two guards started out, followed by myself and Bella, then Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, and then the rest of the company proceeding as ordered by the captain of the guard.

As we passed under the archway for the gate and into the open ground before the castle, I cast one glance back at those grey stone walls. I then slipped my helm over my head and began my close watch of the passing landscape.

"One life ending, another beginning," Bella said from beside me.

Startled, I looked to her, trying to discern what emotion was behind those words.

"Are you sad about that, my lady?"

She was silent for a moment, and then shook her head. "No." A small smile played about her lips as she tilted her head back and took in the clear blue morning sky. Suddenly, she met my eyes, fully smiling then. "By all means…no."

* * *

**Thanks for reading and have a great weekend, lovelies!**

**xxoo**

**Sunny  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Much thanks and gratitude to GeekChic12, my fantastic beta. You're the best. And also to my pre-reader, Lynzlee. You leave me the cutest notes. Inconceivable! Lol **

**SM owns all things Twilight. I own the contents of this story.**

* * *

**White Shadows**

**Chapter 5**

"…and that's when I twisted his arm behind his back as I held my dagger to his neck. He was nearly blubbering like a baby," I recounted with chuckle.

"Blackfield? I've heard he's enormous!" Bella replied in disbelief.

I arched my brow in amusement. "For certain, but I've yet to meet the man who's my equal."

That was clearly an eye-roll.

"What? I'm the most fearsome swordsman in the land! You should be relieved to hear that, my lady. It may serve you well in the future."

"While I do not doubt your prowess, I do doubt some of your tales. They tend to reek of puffed up exaggeration."

How offensive. I huffed. "I'll have you know that I, in truth, greatly understate my abilities."

"Sure," Bella replied. I sent her a side-eyed glance. Was that a dig at me?

Perhaps I wasn't making myself clear. "We trained together for a fortnight. Surely you-"

"By all the gods! Enough," she said with a groan. "You're the finest knight that ever has been or ever will be. They'll write tomes about your magnificence. You'll go down as a legend in the history of Oaklea. When little boys grasp their first sword, your name will be upon their lips as the hero they'll aspire to. Women will name their babies after you and wish their husbands were as skilled as you in the bed chamber. You'll live forever in infamy, Edward of Sunhaven, almighty First Knight of King Alfred's court. Better?"

I could only blink at that little speech of hers.

"Nothing to add to that?" Her mouth lifted in a little smirk.

"You really think so?" I asked, feeling a surge of pride that perhaps even the slightest amount of what she'd said would come true.

Her mouth fell open and then…then…she laughed. Not a little lady-like giggle, no. This was a hysterical, tear-inducing flood of laughter. She had to halt her mount and slide from the saddle where she laid her forehead against the confused horse and laughed some more.

I just sat on Moonspawn and tried to understand her reaction.

"You weren't trying to sing to the poor girl, were you?" Emmett asked, as he rode up beside me.

"Sing to her? Why in Telleor's name would I sing to her? I was merely expounding on many of my feats and then she made a speech about how magnificent I was…then she laughed." My brow wrinkled in confusion.

Emmett snorted. "Damn. And I missed it."

"Missed what?" I asked as I frowned at a then silent, but grinning-at-us Bella.

"Missed you getting your arse handed to you yet again by a mere slip of a woman."

I gaped at Emmett. "You're mad."

"And you're still an insufferable arse. Speaking of arses', mine's sore tired of this saddle. I say we halt for the night."

I curtly nodded, then called out for the soldiers to halt and make camp. Bella, I noticed, was hurrying over to one of the carts. She furtively looked left, then right, then began speaking…to a trunk. A horrible suspicion was creeping up my spine. I spurred my horse over to the cart. Seeing my approach, Bella leapt back as if burnt.

_God's be. I didn't need this headache._

"For Telleor's sake! Get your sister out of the damned trunk!" I hissed.

Bella sighed, then nodded in resignation. Confirming my suspicions, Mary Alice's head popped out of the trunk and sent me a look of displeasure.

"It's about time you called a halt! A lady has needs, you know," Mary Alice huffed as she climbed out of the trunk and began stomping off toward a copse of trees.

"What…?" Jasper gasped in shock as Mary Alice strode past him.

"Are you going to protect me or not?" she called back to him in annoyance.

Jasper closed his gaping mouth, then trotted after her.

I crossed my arms, my face set in anger as I turned to Bella.

"She has to go back, you know."

"Certainly not!" she declared.

The captain of the guard came up to me. "Was that the younger Lady Ostburn?" he asked incredulously.

I curtly nodded. "It was."

"But…God's be. Lord Ostburn will flay me alive."

"No he won't. Take half the men and escort Lady Mary Alice back to the castle in the morning," I ordered him.

"No!" Bella stepped in front of me, looking like she was ready to charge into battle. "My sister stays with me!"

I gripped Bella's elbow and pulled her away from everyone else. I leaned down and whispered heatedly, "You cannot be serious. Your father will not allow this! She has to go back!"

"He'll never know. At least not for some time. By then, Alice will be hidden and safe."

"Bella. Have you lost your mind? Safe? Where?"

She looked up at me with big, beguiling eyes. "To wherever you're taking me, of course, Edward."

"Bella…no."

"Please? For me?" Again, with the eyes. I nearly groaned out loud.

"Do not ask this of me!" I whispered in desperation, but she'd already won.

"I'll give you anything in return. _Anything_," she repeated emphatically.

My eyes traveled over her face before I looked away. I took a deep breath. _This woman_. "Fine. But give me nothing in return."

"There's much I'd give you…if only you'd allow me," Bella whispered so low, I barely heard her.

My heart thumped hard in my chest, traitorous bastard that it was.

I took a step back. She acted as if she would follow, but I stepped back again, then spun around and marched back over to the captain.

"Lady Mary Alice will travel with us. The consequences will be on my head."

"_Sir_?" he asked in astonishment.

"You heard me. Get the camp set up, and have the cook prepare food. The ladies will be hungry," I growled out as I strode around him.

"Sunhaven?" Rosalie called as I was gripping Moonspawn's reins.

_What now_? "Yes?" I replied tersely.

"It is as it should be. Do not fret."

I was gritting my teeth as I frowned. "Sure. _Everything_ is going according to plan," I nearly snarled at her. "And _do not_ remind me again of a price to be paid. I'm paying it, Rosalie of Goldcliff."

"No. You haven't even begun to pay the price yet," she replied, sounding peeved.

"Leave me. My disposition at the moment is foul, my lady."

"And will continue to be foul until the day you admit the truth to yourself," she answered.

I finally met her eyes. "And what truth would that be?"

She just shook her head as she secretively grinned to herself. She then stepped up to me and took my hand, pressing something into my palm. "Wear this around your neck. Never take it off, Sunhaven, until the time is right."

"What in the void are you talking about?" I asked, beyond irritated at this point.

"Do it, Sunhaven. Put it around your neck now, and only take it off when the time is right."

I rolled my eyes but took the small pouch held closed with a long strip of thin leather and tied it around my neck.

"Satisfied?"

She grinned. "No, but you will be…soon." She was laughing as she walked away.

_What in Telleor's name had that been? The women about me were trying to drive me mad._

Mary Alice arrived back to the still surprised group, trailed by a horrified Jasper. He walked straight to me.

"May the gods help me! _What is that woman doing here_?"

"She hid in a trunk to escape the castle, I presume. You're in charge of keeping her safe. Guard her with your life, Fayhurst."

"Nay. Do not do this to me!" he pleaded.

"You're sounding like a woman with your mewling. Really, Jasper? You, afraid of one small female?" I scoffed.

"Yes! What if…what if…she _chooses_ me? What then?" he asked me with wide eyes.

"I doubt she'd attempt the binding, but if she perchance would do so, then refuse. It's clear you do not want the girl. Say no. I'm not asking you to take her to wife; I'm asking you to keep her safe."

He opened his mouth to speak but thought better of it. He snapped it closed, then curtly nodded before turning away from me.

My eyes briefly fell upon Bella. Sensing my attention, she met and held my gaze. I was the one who had to look away.

Later, after a passable meal and guarded breaks for the women to relieve themselves, we made to bed down for the night. The guard had made a camp close to ours with their own campfire. The captain set up a guard duty schedule and disbursed the first watch out around the entire encampment. The cook came around and offered us some freshly brewed herbal tea, encouraging us all to partake. He seemed offended by my refusal ,so I joined in with the rest in downing that foul brew.

After his departure from our fire circle, the ladies laid out their bedding close to the fire. Emmett, of course, was beside his wife, one hand on his sword grip, the other arm around her waist. Mary Alice lay on a pallet with Jasper not far away. She looked to him, but he turned his face from her. She frowned and rolled over, putting her back to him and was quickly asleep.

Bella…she was nearly at my feet, lying on her side, her cheek resting on her folded hands. I crouched down beside her. "Good eve, my lady. I hope you sleep well."

"Good eve, Sunhaven," she groggily replied. "Keep close. I'm used to having you near."

As if I could go far with her there. "I promise to keep close to you. Rest easy. I'll keep you safe."

"I know," was her sleepy reply. Those heavy eyes of hers were again doing strange things to my insides.

I looked away, grabbing my bedding and rolling it out a few feet away from her. I lay down, feeling exhaustion seeping into my bones as I placed my sword beside me, my dagger in hand. Only then did I meet her steady gaze again.

She reached out and brushed a lock of hair out of my face, before placing her hand back under her pale cheek. Her smile was soft, her countenance untroubled, as she closed her eyes in sleep. I watched her face in her slumber, before my body tugged me down into my own.

x~x

Hours later, I was instantly awake, some instinct of mine alerting me to something not being right. It was too quiet.

Hearing a soft sigh, I realized that Bella had, at some point, rolled over next to me, her body close to mine. I tried to sit up without waking her, but she stirred and raised her head. Her eyes widened in realization that she was practically pressed against my side. Still, she didn't make a move to scoot away.

I looked at her one last time in the dawning light, my fingers hovering over her lips to keep her silent. I was firmly gripping my dagger, my hand on the pommel of my sword as I crouched down, inspecting our surroundings. Realizing what had awoken me, I slowly arose.

"Emmett. Jasper," I called out. They were standing within heartbeats, their swords in hand. "It seems we've been abandoned."

Everyone was rousing at this point and looking around in confusion.

"The guard? All of them left?" Bella asked in astonishment from beside me.

"We'll soon find that out," I said with a frown. "Keep your dagger in hand," I ordered Bella. She shook her head and grabbed her bow and quiver, quickly nocking an arrow.

I noticed Mary Alice with a dagger in hand and Rosalie with her bow also drawn. I nodded to Jasper and Emmett, and then we stealthily crept around the perimeter of the camp, but the soldiers and their horses were gone. Jasper tracked their prints and noticed they led off due east, toward Pryefort, not back towards Ostburn.

"What do you make of that?" Emmett asked.

"Damned strange, if you ask me. Are you two as confused about all this as I am?" Jasper asked.

"Why do I feel that there are plots within plots and something we're just not seeing clearly?" I asked to no one in particular.

I turned to find my two friends wearing inscrutable faces. "What?"

"Wed her," Emmett replied.

"What? No."

"Wed her and take her to-"

"No! _No_," I answered in anger. "Later, we'll discuss why and how _all three_ of us just happened to sleep through an entire garrison's departure. For now, let's make sure the women are cared for." I turned and strode back over to the camp.

Bella was regarding me with those eyes of hers full of questions. I was annoyed to realize I couldn't answer any of them, so I turned away.

"Well, it seems my way just got made easier," she said, pulling my attention back to her.

"It seems you are mistaken, my lady. Those men are riding light, unencumbered with slow carts or people to guard. They'll move hard and fast and reach Pryefort in a matter of a few days time. You think Marsh won't send his entire garrison to come after us?"

Bella gripped my arm and tugged me away from the others. "Edward, what's going on? How did we not hear their departure? What was the point of it? Why wouldn't they stay with us? I don't understand."

"I don't either, but I think I'm beginning to. Bella…does your father care for you?"

She blinked and hesitated in replying. "I…believe so. Yes."

"Is he a gambling man? Would he risk a war, gamble everything on one foolish hope?"

"Hope? I've never known my father to hope, but gamble…yes. He's fond of that."

"So, he enjoys games."

Bella sent me an odd look. "I suppose you could say that."

I closed my eyes. _Damn it. Damn it all_.

"Edward?" she asked softly.

I slowly lifted my eyelids, taking in this beautiful woman that her father, and mine, had entrusted to my care. I held her gaze for one long moment. Then I strode around her.

"Can anyone cook? I'm afraid my cooking talents begin and end with skinning and spitting an animal over a fire."

All eyes looked at me blankly.

"That's about all I can do as well," Emmett replied.

"Me as well," Jasper added.

My eyes fell upon Bella, Mary Alice, and Rosalie, who then spoke for the women. "Don't look at us. We're lord's daughters. Cooking is for servants. I can brew teas for us and perhaps a soup or stew that won't kill us all, but I can't promise the taste will be palatable."

"It'll have to do," I sighed. "That is, if you don't mind, Lady Rosalie, being in charge of feeding us all. Even just distributing oat cakes would suffice."

"I don't mind," Rosalie replied. She, followed by her husband, went over to one of the carts to search through the food supplies.

"Where are we headed? What are we to do with all of these carts full of valuables? What about the poor horses? Do you know of a place of safety for me and my sister? Do you think the soldiers will come back? Do you think Pryefort-"

"Enough!"

Bella's mouth snapped shut.

"That's better. There was a plan, and it hasn't changed. We'll find a place nearby to hide most of the valuables. The extra horses can simply be set free. Now stop asking me questions, woman."

Bella was then glaring at me. She turned and stomped away, grabbing her sister by the arm as she went. They headed toward the trees.

"Where do you think you're going?" I called after her in aggravation.

"Surely even you, the almighty Edward of Sunhaven, has to take a piss once in a while," Bella threw back at me.

"I'll watch over them," Jasper said as he turned to follow.

I spun around and stared off at the misty morning sky. I was annoyed at life in general at the moment.

"Is this going to happen a lot?" Emmett asked from beside me.

I sighed. This day was surely going to drive me mad. "Is what going to happen?"

"You and her fighting. God's be, man. Do us all a favor and bed the lass before you both lose your minds and drive the rest of us all insane in the process."

I stared at Emmet in shock. "Why does everyone assume that Bella and I are destined to be bound?"

Emmett lifted an eyebrow as he slightly smirked. "We don't, but that entire reply was quite…revealing," he answered as he walked away.

I dragged my fingers back through my hair, then turned and kicked the nearest tree.

x~x

"Lucky for us, there was this cave under the hill," Jasper said as he guided the horse backwards into the mouth of the cave.

I shrugged. I didn't care. I was completely out of sorts the likes of which I'd never known. I just wanted to get this done and be gone from this place…to be at the place of safety and then well away from a certain woman with penetrating brown eyes.

"Edward?" Bella called.

I rolled my eyes. What now? "Yes?" I replied tersely.

"I think I liked the cocky pig you were to this grumpy arse you've been lately," she said.

"If you just walked over here to insult me, then save your breath."

"No," she replied quietly. "I was only going to ask you if you wanted a drink." She held out the wineskin to me.

I held her eyes for a moment, feeling like the arse I'd been behaving as. "Yes, thank you. And…forgive me, my lady."

"Sure," she answered with a relaxed grin.

I found I was, despite myself, grinning back at her. I took the wineskin and downed a healthy swallow.

"Rosalie has us a meal in the making. As soon as you and Jasper are finished, come join us."

I nodded, and then she turned and walked away. I simply watched her go, feeling all jumbled up inside.

"Last one," Jasper called as he took the reins and began to guide the last cart into the cave.

I turned to begin unbridling the cart horses, setting them free to roam the woods as they would. Jasper soon joined me, and we quickly had them all let loose. That completed, we walked back up the hill to the campsite.

As we ate a passable meal, that Rosalie and Mary Alice had prepared, I marked Mary Alice's extreme attitude change toward Jasper. She no longer looked at him with love-struck eyes. She never looked at him at all. When he had sat down on a log beside her with his trencher, Mary Alice had arisen and went over by her sister. I saw Jasper look down at his trencher in bewilderment at this treatment.

This behavior of hers continued on through the evening; she had even requested that I escort her on her privy trip.

"That's my job," Jasper quickly replied.

She ignored him as if he hadn't even spoken. My eyes flicked between them.

"Jasper is your guard," I stated.

"I asked you to escort me," she firmly replied.

I shrugged and held out my arm, motioning for her to lead on. Her business quickly finished, we made our way back to the camp to find that Jasper had rolled out her bedding for her.

"Your pallet, my lady," he said with a slight bow.

She ignored that as well, simply lying down and turning away from him. Jasper stood there frowning down at her before he rolled out his own bedding near hers.

I found my eyes straying to Bella to find she had been closely observing Mary Alice and Jasper as well. Suddenly, she met my eyes and grinned. I wasn't sure what all that had been about, but I felt the ghost of a grin upon my own lips.

I had first watch, then Emmett, and lastly Jasper. I found a spot and sat quietly, listening and watching over my sleeping companions. Come Emmett's turn to relieve me, I rolled my bedding out near Bella's. She awoke and shook her head, motioning me closer.

"Are you all right?" I whispered.

"Stay close to me," she implored me.

I held her gaze for a moment before responding. "How close?"

She reached out a hand and gripped my gloved one. "As close as you'll allow me."

I tried not to allow that statement to mean more than it seemed. To hide my eyes, I grabbed my bedding, placing it next to hers. I then stretched out on my side, facing her, my dagger in hand. She, in turn, was facing me.

"Better?" I whispered, my face creasing with an unbidden smile.

She reached out and stroked her fingers lightly through my hair, tucking it back from my face. Her fingertips lightly rested on my jaw.

"Better. I'm with you. That's the answer to that question."

My stupid, traitorous heart thumped hard in my chest. _What was this woman doing to me? And why was I allowing her to do so? _

I reached up and took her hand, holding her palm against my lips. I then lightly kissed her there and then her fingertips, before gently placing it back against her body.

"I didn't have to steal that," she whispered with a soft smile.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my emotions. "No, not this time. I won't, perhaps, be so forthcoming with myself in the future."

"Well, then, I'm happy to have gotten what I could at a weak moment in time for you."

I shook my head. "Sleep well, Isabella of Ostburn."

She gripped my hand between hers, holding it hostage against her body. "I will now, Edward of Sunhaven."

I watched her eyes close and her body relax back into sleep. It had become a habit of mine.

_Fool_, I reminded myself as I closed my eyes. It had no bite to it though.

With Bella's warm hands holding mine, the feel of her heartbeat mingling with my own, my sleep was peaceful and my dreams untroubled that night.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

**xxoo**

**Sunny**


	6. Chapter 6

**Endless thanks to my wonderful beta, GeekChic12. This chapter was a bit of work and I'm so appreciative of your time and effort. Many thanks to my sweet pre-reader, Lynzlee. I'm so glad that this chapter didn't get added to your presentation. lol Lots of love to both of you!**

**SM owns all things Twilight. I own the contents of this story.**

* * *

**White Shadows**

**Chapter 6**

Bella yawned as she stretched her arms over her head. I found myself attempting, but not really succeeding, to not stare at that blessed morning feast before me. My eyes fell to the material pulling tight over her breasts. Breasts that were starting to drive me a bit mad.

I never saw the tree that I ran smack into.

I heard laughter, Emmett's the loudest, and turned my face away in embarrassment. I hoped Bella hadn't seen that. One more peek back revealed her rubbing her neck with her head tilted back…_Telleor help me_…and thankfully not looking my direction. Again, I tried not to stare.

_It was just a stretch. They were just breasts. She was just a woman. Nothing to hold my attention so fast that I'd started walking into trees_, I told myself. _Liar_, my mind screamed. _Shut up, traitor_, I replied to myself. God's be! That woman had me arguing with myself now. Perhaps, I _am_ going mad.

I shook my head and began to check on the condition of the horses. I welcomed the diversion.

"Good morning," Bella said suddenly from beside me, making me jump.

"No need to sneak up on a man," I growled out.

She sighed. "I wish I knew the cure for your grumpiness_." I have some ideas_, flew through my mind.

"What did you need?" I asked curtly.

"I don't _need _anything. I merely wanted to know the plan for the day."

"The men and I will discuss that over breaking our fast. I'll allow you women to participate." I squatted down and started to check the shoes on Bella's horse. I hadn't questioned why I was checking her horse first. I simply was.

I heard a choking noise and turned my face up to her in curiosity.

"You'll _allow_ us to participate? How magnanimous of you."

"I thought so," I answered with a shrug as I then checked the two back hooves.

"Unbelievable!" She huffed as she turned on her heel and strode away.

My eyes followed her retreating back. What had _that_ been about? Didn't I just say that she'd be included?

Only after I'd carefully inspected all six horses did I join the others around the fire pit. Rosalie handed me an oatcake and a mug of ale, which I accepted with a nod. I then went to sit down beside Bella. She sent me a frown, but scooted over to give me room beside her on the log.

We ate in silence for a moment. I could sense awkwardness and unease running amongst our small gathering.

"I have a request," Mary Alice said, and all eyes turned to her. "I _hate_ the name Mary. Could all of you please call me simply…Alice?"

Everyone nodded, and I noticed Bella send her sister a small smile. We went back to eating, falling back into silence once more.

"The tea," Rosalie announced abruptly, causing my head to snap up.

"Pardon?"I asked.

She held up a small kettle toward me, giving it a shake. "The tea. I have divined that the pot has traces of valerian, chamomile, sweet cicely, and coriander. Someone wanted us to sleep."

"And why did you not divine that as we were imbibing it?" I asked her, unable to keep the frustration out of my voice.

Rosalie sent me a frown. "And to think I was beginning to like you, Sunhaven. I'm not all-powerful. I cannot catch everything, and sometimes it takes much concentration, time, and meditation to access the goddess. You should be thanking me. The protective warren I've woven around our fire has kept us safe."

I just blinked at her. How was one to even deal with someone either insane or in possession of powers and talents you can't even understand?

"We do thank you, Lady Rosalie," Bella said. "You've been most helpful." I noticed her reach up and pull out a tiny bag from between her breasts. She rubbed her finger over that small pouch tied around her neck that was identical to my own.

Rosalie nodded at Bella as I felt something akin to dread settle in the pit of my stomach. Rosalie had given Bella a pouch identical to mine? What could it mean? Whatever was in it? I turned away and pulled the bag from under my chainmail. I tried to untie it, but it wouldn't open. Neither would it rip nor yield in any way. Frowning, I tucked it back under my mail and faced the others again. I noticed a furtive glance and a sly grin to me from Rosalie.

God's be. Whatever these little pouches held…it couldn't be good for me.

"So, we know why we slept. We still need an answer as to why the guard left," Jasper said that as he looked to Alice, who was still ignoring his existence. I could tell it was starting to grate on him.

"I have an idea that it's what we discussed the other day at the castle," Emmett started and then paused. "What if- and this is a big what if- what if Ostburn and Pryefort wanted to start a war for the north to attempt to regain the crown after all this time? What better way to incite a war than to have a powerful, arguably _the most powerful,_ southern house besides the king's kidnap his daughter? Daughters," Emmett added with a glance to Alice. "To add to the stew are two more powerful southern houses apparently in on the plot. What if they want the war, but by making it look as if _we _started it, they therefore gain the upper hand?"

We were all silent as we digested that.

"But…that's a pretty big gamble. They don't have the men, the army the south could raise, nor do they have the power and wealth of the throne behind them," Jasper pointed out.

"But…who would they be putting upon the throne if they won?" Bella asked in confusion. "My brother, Eldric, is just a babe and my father and…Marsh are older men."

"Your brother is my guess, with your father acting as regent," Emmet replied.

"This all seems to me to be a pretty large assumption on our part." Bella scoffed. "My father is not one to start wars. Certainly not over me or Alice."

"But that's just it," Emmett cut in. "It's _not about_ you or your sister. It's about the crown."

"I don't know," Jasper replied to Emmett. "To start a war with the cooling months ahead of us? The winters in the north are harsh. The timing seems off to me."

"Is there ever a good time to begin a war?" Emmett argued.

"Enough!" I cut in before the two of them really got into it. Nodding in satisfaction at the sudden silence, I voiced my opinion. "The only thing that matters here is that these daughters of Ostburn are not used as pawns in any game to attempt to steal the crown. Nothing has changed with our original plan. I'll still take Bella, and now Alice as well, to the place of safety. This is on my head. The rest of you should head back home or to court. Remove your houses from whatever game is being played out."

"No. That's not how it's supposed to be," Rosalie quietly stated.

"Oh, enough with your vague comments. If you have something to say, some knowledge to share with us, please do so, or cease your foreboding."

Emmett went to retort something perhaps not so nice to me at my comments to his wife, but Rosalie stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Fine. You want blunt? You get blunt. Wherever you're going, we're all going to end up there as well, whether we stay together or not. The fact is all our destinies are now entwined together. "

I had no response to that and looked away. We all became silent at Rosalie's declaration until Alice spoke. "I've only made this whole situation worse, haven't I?" she whispered. Jasper went to put his hand on her shoulder but paused and returned it to his side.

Bella motioned her over, and Alice took my seat that I had just vacated for her. Bella hugged her sister to her. "It's all right, sister. Rosalie says your being here is right, so right it is. Do not fret, my dear one." Bella ran a hand over her hair as Alice snuggled her head against her shoulder.

"Bella? What if…Father wanted this?" Alice asked slowly.

Bella raised her head. "Wanted what?"

Alice sat up. "This. You…and Sunhaven," Alice replied with a point to me.

My body went stiff at Alice voicing what I'd been contemplating. Bella, however, merely shrugged. "I've wondered that myself."

My eyes flew to Bella, who boldly met my gaze.

"I don't know about all this war talk. I see it more that Father never wanted you to wed Marsh. I think that perhaps this was a plan hatched between him and Edward's father to force you two together," Alice said.

"That's a reasonable explanation," Emmett chimed in.

"It's better than war," Jasper replied. "But still…"

"Yes, still…" Emmett said as he and Jasper exchanged a look.

"No matter what their intention, I do believe that you two should perform the binding," Alice added.

I shot up. "No."

I felt everyone's eyes upon me, but the only ones that mattered were the big, brown ones looking at me. Her expression threw me. She almost looked…amused.

"How ridiculous. As if I'm good enough for the almighty Edward of Sunhaven," Bella lightly replied to her sister.

I heard Emmett snort. I ran a frustrated hand through my hair and nearly turned and kicked a tree. My lips were a hard line as I met Bella's eyes again.

"I'm going to take a walk," I said in desperation. Spinning on my heel, I hurried off into the trees. I walked for a bit, wandering aimlessly in truth, until I came to a large black oak. I leaned against it, resting my forehead upon its rough bark.

I heard soft footsteps behind me and knew to whom they belonged.

"It's enough that you take me to safety. If you do not wish me to be your wife, then your protection will be enough. That was your main purpose in this; that much is clear. All else is conjecture on our part."

"You know I'm not the man for you. Surely you can see this." I didn't turn to look at Bella. I couldn't.

"I don't see any such thing at all. But…I can understand your frustration. Everyone around us seems to know what we're thinking and feeling and wants to decide our destiny for us. It's mighty annoying. What's between you and I…and what's not…is for us alone."

I gripped the tree trunk in my hands, my fingers spread wide digging into the rough bark, wishing I could shake that large tree until everything jumbled up inside of me was straightened out.

Well, there was certainly _one_ thing that was clear inside this head of mine. I took a deep breath and then…dove in.

"Do you know what I want, Isabella of Ostburn?"

"Truthfully, I haven't the slightest idea what goes on in that mind of yours," she replied.

"_I want this_," I nearly growled.

I spun around and swept her up in my arms as I crushed my lips to hers. Desire rippled through my body, clouded my mind, heated my blood, as I laid out all my pent up frustration upon her. A soft moan escaped me as I plunged my tongue into her sweet mouth and mingled it with her own. A little cry of her own nearly had me laying this woman down and ravishing her so very tempting body.

_Can't. Too soon_, my foggy brain replied. _Too soon? What did that mean_?

Thought was lost again as I picked Bella up and pushed her against the tree. Her legs slid around my hips as her hands painfully held onto my hair. All of that only fueled the flames of my Bella fire. I yanked my lips from hers and began to madly kiss her jaw around to her delicate ear, nibbling, kissing, and then tugging the lobe into my mouth.

A sound of delight bubbled out of her as I kissed and sucked my way down her graceful neck. _God's be. She was delicious. _

She grabbed my hair, yanking my head back up. I gazed at her with heavy-lidded eyes, thinking she was putting an end to this madness.

I was mistaken.

Bella's lips were then at my throat, kissing me as I had done to her. My knees nearly gave out. I closed my eyes for a moment and relished her soft, fluttery kisses upon my skin. Soon, insanity took me over as I gripped her face and pulled it back to mine. I thought I might actually die in that moment if I couldn't kiss her sweet lips again.

We fell into that kiss. Into each other. Desire, need, _want _like I'd never known nearly knocked me on my arse.

_Lost. I was hopelessly lost in this woman. Telleor help me._

I heard a tiny voice inside of me screaming to _step back. Let her go. End this_. I ignored it. The blood had rushed from my head and settled in between my legs, and I was ruled then by passion. My cock was aching hard and wanting this woman so badly that one touch from her there would surely have ended me right then.

_Stop. Stop. Stop!_

I called upon every ounce of my willpower as I released her lips. I gazed at her flushed, pretty face, then into her warm, misty eyes, and felt something shift again inside of me.

With one last tender kiss to her lips, I sat her down gently on the ground against the tree, and then nearly fell back on my arse a few feet away from her. We just sat there staring at each other.

After what seemed like an entire bell had passed, I felt more in control of myself. I climbed to standing and offered her my hand. Big, brown, beguiling eyes looked up at me as she took my hand and then stood in front of me. The pull of her, still strong, still nearly uncontrollable, had me tilting my head down to hers.

"Another time," she whispered as she placed her fingers against my lips.

"Soon?" I asked with a bit of my smolder.

She blinked and swayed toward me. _So, she wasn't quite as immune to my charms as she'd stated. That was useful information indeed. _

"Come, beautiful. Let's rejoin the others before they send out a search for us."

She grinned at my little joke and then stepped beside me, sliding her hand into the crook of my offered arm.

We got many curious glances when we returned to the others, but no one mentioned our prolonged absence.

"So, back to what we were discussing." I sent Emmet a warning look at his beginning. He just grinned and then continued on. "We have to head south east, but we can't follow the roads or a straight course. If the intention was for this to look like a kidnapping, then Marsh will disburse his soldiers over a wide area. For now, we'll ride together, but sometime in the future, we'll most likely need to split up to muddy the trail."

I couldn't disagree with any of that. The men all knew where we were headed. If we had to, we'd pair off and get where we needed to go the best we could.

"Agreed. We need to pack our saddlebags with necessities. Mostly food stuff and wine or ale to supplement when we can't find fresh water," I added. "Best to travel light and move as swiftly as possible, sticking to wooded areas when we can."

"The day is advancing. It already looks to be close to second bell," Jasper stated.

"We depart soon then. Ready yourselves," I instructed the group.

Bella and I shared one last glance, and then we went to ready ourselves to depart.

x~x

As the day progressed, a light, misty, irritating rain began. We all tugged the hoods of our cloaks up and huddled over our mounts. I hoped that it didn't increase to actual rain. Soggy, wet underbrush and muddy ground would make our journey that much longer and rougher going.

An arrow flew past me, startling me, and I whipped my sword out. I heard Bella laugh and turned to see her pointing to a nearby tree with a squirrel impaled by her arrow. She kicked her horse over to the tree, quickly removing the squirrel and arrow. She wiped the arrow and placed it back into her quiver. She then tied the dead squirrel to hang off her saddle.

"That's one," she said to me with a grin.

I found myself grinning back at her. "Well done."

"We'll need more than that," Emmett said with a broad smile to Bella. "One squirrel is only enough to make us all mad."

Bella laughed, deep, throaty, and enticing. I found that my eyes couldn't leave her.

"We'll round up more, husband," Rosalie said to him. "Come time to halt for the night, Isabella and I will have enough squirrels, and perhaps rabbits, to sate even you."

"Well, I don't know," Emmett replied as he rubbed his chin. "It seems it might take a bit more than squirrels and rabbits to sate me, woman."

"That too," she replied. "Surely we can find a bush or private place for just us later."

"Surely we can," he replied in a tone that made Rosalie sway toward him.

"Edward and I will clean and spit the animals over the fire. Seems only fair if you women are to provide the food," Jasper said quickly, trying desperately to change the subject. I noticed his eyes dart to Alice, but once again, she was ignoring his presence.

My own eyes briefly strayed to Bella. _Don't look at her breasts_, I told my traitorous eyes. Too late. _Damn it_. The subject did indeed need to be changed. "Absolutely. It'll be an honor. Let's move. No sense sitting here getting wetter."

I slid my sword back into its scabbard, then turned my horse to take the point again, leading everyone. Suddenly, I realized what I'd just said. My mind flew to something it definitely _should not have,_ and my cock sprang to life. I groaned softly.

"Are you all right?" Bella asked as she spurred her horse up beside mine.

I gritted my teeth. My eyes, of their own violation, fell to Bella's breasts before meeting her eyes. "Fine. I'm fine," I curtly replied.

"You don't look fine. You look in pain. Did you injure yourself?"

The sound of her voice and a glance at her leather clad leg nearly had my cock going off in my leggings. What was _wrong _with me? I'd never in my life had a woman affect me so.

"I'm fine," I exhaled in exasperation. _Please go away, and stop talking to me_.

"If you say so," she answered doubtfully. "We could converse. You could tell me of your home."

"I'm in no mood for telling stories," I said as I adjusted my seat in the saddle.

"Back to grumpy you, I see," she sighed. "Fine. I'll converse with my sister then."

I was ever so grateful when she tugged on the reins and waited for her sister to ride up beside her. It had been the only thing that had preserved my sanity at that moment.

Later, after we had halted for the night, Emmett and I were tending to the horses as Bella and Alice were huddled miserably around the feeble fire. The damp wood was putting out more smoke than flames. Rosalie was rooting through the food stores as Jasper was gutting and skinning the six squirrels and one rabbit that Bella and Rosalie had managed to catch for our evening repast. By happenstance, I glanced to Bella and the others just as Rosalie was saying something over the fire. She suddenly clapped her hands, and flames sprung to life. She nodded in satisfaction at the then impressive fire, then turned and went back to rooting through saddlebags.

I looked to Emmett. "This wife of yours…take my advice, and never cross the woman. I fear you'd wake up as a chicken or goat or some such."

Emmett laughed. "I'm not a bloody idiot. Besides, if I incurred her wrath, she'd kick me out of the marriage bed, and I've got to tell you, friend, that would be the worst punishment."

I turned my face back to the hide of the horse I'd been brushing. "So you say."

"May I ask you something?" Emmett asked.

I shrugged. "Sure."

"Why is she different?"

I pulled my eyebrows together. "She…who?"

"Isabella. Why is she different?"

"Different from what? A horse?"

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Don't pretend to be obtuse nor try to bullshit me. I've known you almost all your life, good and bad."

"And?"

Emmett exhaled in irritation. "And I want to know why that woman, Isabella, is different- why you treat her differently."

"I don't know what the hell you mean. She's just like any other woman. I treat her no differently." I turned away.

"You're really not going to give into this," Emmett finally replied, sounding surprised. "Well, my friend, I have to say, it's your loss."

I still had my back to him, pretending to ignore his words.

"Stubborn arse. You can finish the damned horses by yourself. I'm going back over there to be with my wife." I heard him start to stomp away. His footsteps paused, though. "Edward."

I looked back at him over my shoulder. "What?"

"Forget what I said before. If you're not going to be bound to her, then I'd ask you not bed her. That should be for her husband. I ask you to promise me that."

I slowly turned until I was facing him. "Are you questioning my honor?" My words had been low and laced with barely controlled rage.

"No, merely your self-control. I see you want the lass, and I can't blame you. All I'm asking you is, unless you wed the woman, to leave her a maiden."

I dropped my eyes to the ground. "I'm not an animal. I promise that on Isabella's wedding night, she will come to her husband as a maiden."

"Thank you," Emmett replied and then spun and quickly walked back toward the others.

However, I stood there completely immobile for some time.

After our evening meal, Emmett and Rosalie slipped off for some privacy. Still, out here in the quiet woods, sound traveled, and there was no mistaking what those two were doing and enjoying under the cloak of darkness.

A moan accompanied by a knowing laugh had me looking up at the tree above us. I had to look at something besides Bella, all pale and beguiling in the fire light.

Jasper cleared his throat. "How about a song?"

"What song?" Bella asked quickly.

"Silverwind?" he replied.

"Yes," she answered him with a grin.

Jasper, possessing a passable singing voice, began to sing the tale of Silverwind, a fierce dragon that lived in centuries past. Bella joined in, then Alice. I settled myself back against a tree trunk and listened to them sing. I had always enjoyed this tale of the fearsome and beautiful silvery-white dragon and of the mighty King Kalamed that had managed to destroy her before she completely devastated Oaklea.

Bella, I realized, had a pleasant singing voice, as did her sister. Their two voices were sweet to the ears in their close harmony, not unlike their close relationship. Momentarily, I felt slight envy of them. I'd often wanted a sibling growing up. My own mother had perished in childbirth, taking my younger brother with her. Surprisingly, my father never wed again, leaving me, except for visiting cousins, the sole Sunhaven child, forever restlessly wandering the cavernous halls and sunny beaches alone.

My mind drifted back to my childhood, to my home. I missed it. I missed the sun-kissed Amber Isle with its rocky, ocher-colored beaches. I missed climbing to the tallest tower of the castle and looking out over the sea, wondering what exotic places were out there, hidden beyond the horizon. I'd never know. It had been discovered early on that me and boats were not good companions. I wretched from the time I set foot aboard a boat until the moment I was blessedly carried off of it.

I grinned to myself. The heir of a small kingdom that encompassed a busy trading harbor and a town that got its wealth from trade and fishing that didn't sail. Bellyn, the water god, must have been cackling in amusement from his watery throne in the depths of the sea at the irony.

"What is it that amuses you so?" Bella inquired as she, without asking, plopped herself down against my side. I scooted over a bit to put some distance back between us.

"Thoughts of my home, of my childhood."

I noticed Emmett and Rosalie had returned, and they, along with Alice and Jasper, were preparing their pallets for the night.

"You miss it."

I sighed as I looked to her face full of questions. "I do. I'm mostly at court, except for the past half-year, when I've been traveling, doing business for my father."

"The king gave you leave. I find that surprising. I'd think he'd want you close."

I nodded. "He wasn't best pleased with my father but still granted his wish for me to be relieved from his service until the cooling season began."

"Tell me something of your home," she said quietly.

"I fear I'm tired and not in the mood at this time for sharing my memories."

"You're grumpy again. I'm prying, and you do not enjoy that." Bella looked away to the fire.

"No. I will share stories of my home with you at another time. Perhaps, for tonight, this will suffice." I reached onto my sword belt and pulled up a leather pouch. Untying it, I pulled out a rusty colored pebble. I retied it and tucked the pouch back under my belt.

I held out my hand for her. She looked at me for a moment, then reached out her palm. I gently placed the small pebble in her hand, my fingertips brushing her fingers as I withdrew my own. She held my gaze for a moment, then lightly stroked the pebble with the pointer finger of her other hand.

"From the beach of the Amber Isle."

"A little piece of home," she said with a warm smile.

I nodded. "I always carry pebbles from home with me. It connects me to my family, reminds me of my duty, and stirs a longing in me to be there, standing upon that beach, gazing out over the Southern Sea."

"Sunhaven must be a beautiful place," she replied wistfully.

"Yes."

She looked upon me with those big eyes of hers, warmth in their depths. I suddenly realized that her brown eyes were flecked with amber. If I was the type of man to believe in fate, then that surely would have been a sign from the gods.

"Thank you for sharing that with me. I didn't even have to pry that from you." Her grin was impish as she handed the pebble back to me.

I shook my head. "That's yours. It's a gift."

She blinked and then curled her fingers around the pebble. "I thank you. I can almost feel the warmth of the southern sun upon it," she replied softly.

I briefly closed my eyes. She had just spoken the thought that always came to my mind when I held the pebbles in my own hand. "Come, let's rest. We have another long day of riding ahead of us on the morrow."

I arose and offered her my hand, but she was busy placing the pebble into the pouch around her neck. How could she open her pouch, but I could not mine? Finished, she tucked the pouch back under her clothing and took my hand. I pulled her up to standing in front of me. There was a moment when we gravitated toward each other but both quickly stepped back.

I saw Jasper take up his position as first watch as Bella grabbed her bedding and laid it out, then grabbed mine and placed it right alongside hers. She really needed to stop that. We were nearly sharing a pallet at this point.

_I should go move my pallet. I should stop sharing bits of my life, of myself, with her. I should_…

"Edward. Come. Rest." Bella beckoned me. I ignored everything I should and should not be doing and found myself striding to her, answering her request.

And so, yet again, Isabella of Ostburn had freely been given another piece of me.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

**xxoo**

**Sunny**


	7. Chapter 7

**Lots of thanks to GeekChic12 for your supreme beta work. You catch everything and I'm so grateful to you for that. And thank you so very much for recommending my story! That was very kind. **

**A huge thank you to my pre-reader, Lynzlee. You're the best!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own the contents of this story.**

**A Bella POV for you, dears. xx**

* * *

**White Shadows**

**Chapter 7**

I spurred my horse up beside Edward's and received a frown for my efforts. The man was frequently in a foul mood. Not that I should find fault with that, for I was the main reason for it, presumably.

I transferred the reins to my left hand and rubbed my neck, grimacing at finding greasy skin meeting my fingers. It had been over a week since I'd bathed. I was longing to be clean again, and I wondered if there'd ever come a day when I wouldn't reek of horse.

"No."

I whipped my face to Edward. "What?"

"We must keep moving apace. There's no time for luxuries like bathing," Edward pronounced.

"And how, may I ask, did you know I was thinking about bathing?"

"You drive me insane requesting a bath every single day, that's how. And perhaps, I've come to know you." His long-lashed eyes looked away from me.

I turned my own face forward. So much was between us, silent and unspoken, but nonetheless…it was there. At least for my part.

"It wasn't like I've ever asked _you_ to bathe me. I simply wish for a pond or creek to wash some of the grime from the journey from me."

I turned to find him regarding me with the oddest expression upon his face.

"What?"

He slightly shook his head, and then cleared his throat. He went to speak, but seemed to change his mind. Kicking his spurs into his horse, he galloped off ahead of us.

I dropped my head. Would there ever come a day when I understood that man and what went on inside of his head?

"May I speak freely with you, Lady Isabella?" Sir Jasper asked as he rode up beside me.

"Certainly."

He glanced back to where Alice was chatting with Rosalie and Emmett, before turning back to me.

"Why won't your sister speak to me?"

I had to look away to hide my grin. Composing myself, I faced Jasper again. "I believe you injured her tender heart when you left Ostburn without even a 'by-your-leave'."

"So, she's angry because I didn't take my leave of her before I departed?" Jasper asked, looking confused.

_No, you silly man. She's angry because you rejected all her advances_. I nearly rolled my eyes at Jasper, who, like other men, including Edward, seemed so dim-witted when it came to womenfolk. "Perhaps," was my vague reply.

"I see," Jasper said, sounding distracted. "But I'm not looking for a wife," he mumbled to himself. "I don't even have a _squire_ right now, since Farren became wounded on the journey here."

I ignored the first part, but I had questions about the second. "Where _are_ all the squires?"

"Farren, I left with a family I knew to take care of him as he recuperates. Tormund, Edward's squire, and Myk, Emmett's squire, are on their way…somewhere…else."

"Together?"

His look was wary. "Yes."

"Why the secrecy about where we're headed?"

Jasper feigned lightness. "Do not fret. It's a fine place. You'll like it."

"But you're still not going to tell me, are you?"

Jasper shrugged. "Edward's orders. In this, he's in charge."

I pursed my lips and looked straight ahead.

"It's for the best. Like you not bringing any ladies' maids. That certainly was a good choice."

Then, I frowned. "On the off-chance that all went terribly awry, I did not want to subject any more of my father's household than myself to the horrors of Pryefort."

"Edward was never going to allow you to reach Pryefort and fall into Marsh's clutches."

At that, I faced Jasper. "Why do you say that?"

"Really, Lady Isabella?" he replied with a knowing look.

Once again, I looked away. "I'm betrothed to another. By the laws of the land, I am Marsh's wife. Despite all, that hasn't changed."

"After this, Marsh will renounce you, surely. And then…well..." He seemed to search for the words to say. "Or…you could break it yourself with the binding to…another. No marriage is official until the, uh, bedding." Jasper fell silent, letting that hang there.

_As if I didn't know that_. "I cannot ask more of Edward than I already have," I replied softly.

"Some things, you cannot ask of another. Some things just are. And some things, they must be stolen to obtain true happiness."

At that, I looked at Jasper in surprise. "Surely you, of all people, understand that to try to force another to care is the height of foolishness. Either you love a person, or you do not."

Jasper held my eyes for a moment before facing forward. "Is it really that simple?"

"It is for me," I solemnly replied.

He took that in before he responded. "What will you do?"

"Pray for a miracle?" I answered with a chuckle.

Jasper was grinning as his eyes met mine. "Best pray to _all _the gods, my lady. That friend of mine is as stubborn as a donkey."

We were both chuckling as Edward reappeared, riding back towards us. He reined up hard on his mount as we halted in front of him. His eyes darted between mine and Jasper's faces before he frowned.

"Rough river ahead. The Merrow, I believe."

"Cross this eve, or wait until morning?" Jasper asked.

"I'd like to get across it before dark this day."

"Then I'll check for possible safe places for us to cross," Jasper said as he kicked his spurs and then galloped away.

Edward turned to me. "Fayhurst amuses you?"

Was that jealousy in his voice? "I find his company most agreeable."

"And you do not mine?" he demanded.

I arched my brows. That was jealousy, indeed. "I prefer your company to all others," I answered honestly.

He pressed his lips together, keeping his words. Oh, how I wished that he'd tell me what he was thinking and feeling in moments like this, instead of meeting my words with silence. His gaze locked on mine, turmoil in the depths of his eyes.

"What's going on?" Emmett asked as he rode up between our horses.

Breaking eye contact with me, Edward relayed the river crossing news to the others. I noticed Alice's eyes widen. She had a dreadful fear of deep water. This would not be pleasant.

"We'll make sure you cross safely, sister," I reassured her.

But then, things seldom turn out as we plan.

Emmett and Rosalie crossed the swift moving river first, their journey slow and laborious for the skittish horses. The water came up to the horses chest at one point, and Rosalie's mount nearly threw her off in his fright. Emmett firmly grabbed the reins and guided his wife's horse to the other side without further incident.

My eyes fell upon my sister standing beside her horse. Her face was white, and she was shivering slightly. I was quickly over to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"I cannot do this. Don't make me," she pleaded.

"Alice. We have to cross. We cannot stay here and we cannot return back home. We must go forward."

"I'm going to drown."

"No, you're not. Sir Jasper is crossing with you. He'll keep you safe and guide your horse. It'll be fine."

"It's our turn, my lady," Jasper said to my sister, his voice soft and gentle.

For the first time in days, Alice met Jasper's eyes. She didn't speak, merely nodded her head. Jasper offered her his knee, as he always did, for her to mount her horse. Once in the saddle, she wrapped her fingers around the leather until her hands were white.

They started their journey across, and all was well until they reached the middle and Alice's horse got spooked. He began neighing loudly and shaking his head, his eyes rolling in terror. Jasper gripped the reins tightly and kept repeating, "Whoa!" to the horse, but it was having none of it.

The next events happened almost slowly, as if in a murky dream. Alice's horse bucked wildly, tossing her from the saddle and into the water where she didn't resurface. I didn't even think. I simply tossed off my bow and quiver and then dove into the river. The shock of the cold water took my breath. The current began tugging at my skirts as I madly kicked to the surface. I took in a deep breath as I whipped my head about, looking for Alice. I ignored the shouts from everyone, my sole focus on finding my sister.

Spying her being carried away downstream by the current, I swam with determination toward her. I managed to grab a hold of her sleeve, then her arm. I held onto her for dear life as my other hand kept pushing at the water, trying to keep us both afloat. Alice clung to me, her face white with fear and shock.

I spied a huge tree downed on the left bank. I tried to guide us toward it, but the current kept pulling me to the right. Suddenly, Alice seemed to snap out of her shock and began to scream and claw at the water and at me.

"Alice! Alice! You must stop!"

She wasn't listening to me, though. I was trying to ignore her screaming and thrashing, as well as keep us both from drowning. The tree was almost within reach. I prayed hard to Bellyn, the water god, not to take us as I extended my left arm out as far as it would reach. I had my fingertips on the bark when Alice, feeling us sinking as I reached for the tree, became hysterical again.

I heard more shouting but ignored it. My sole focus was upon that tree and safety. Almost there. One last desperate reach, and I felt in relief the rough bark under my fingers. I wrapped my hand around a branch and thought all would be well until the others could reach us. But then Alice flung her arm out desperately grabbing for the tree and accidentally elbowed me in the head, smacking it against the tree.

Darkness took me as I sank down into the cold water.

"_Bella!_" a voice called from far away.

I felt my body being rolled over and hard whacks to my back. The water came bubbling out of me, choking me as I vomited it out. I heaved endless water out of my body that finally ceased in rough coughing and hard, gasping breaths.

I was rolled back over and lifted up against hard thighs, one firm arm wrapped around me, the other gripping my face.

"_Bella_?" Edward called roughly, as if his voice wasn't working quite right.

I looked up at Edward, distress clear upon his handsome face.

"_Answer me_," he ordered me harshly.

I tried to focus my eyes. Edward impatiently wiped water from my face. "Alice?" I rasped out.

"Your sister is well. You saved her. It's you that I'm concerned with."

"I feel…strange. C-cold." The words were hard to get out, and once they did, my speech ended in a coughing fit.

Edward cursed and then yelled at Emmett and Rosalie to get a fire going. He rolled me over his legs and pounded my back again. I coughed out a little more water, then lay there limp in his lap. He gently rolled me back over. I winced when he probed a place on my head.

"That'll hurt for a day or so. I'll have Rosalie tend to it. Right now, you need out of these wet clothes. Whatever were you thinking, Bella? You could've drowned!" He continued fussing at me as he carried me over by the fire.

"I need…to see Alice." Violent shakes overtook me, making my teeth chatter.

"I'm here, sister," she said as she knelt down beside me. "Oh, Bella. It's all my fault!" Alice began to cry.

I blindly reached out my hand for her, gripping her forearm. "N-no. Hush now, my dear one."

Alice wept harder.

"You two need out of these wet gowns. Talk can wait," Edward said, his voice cross.

"I'll help Bella," Rosalie offered. "Alice can borrow my other gown that's dry."

Edward held me tightly as he arose, then gently placed my feet on the ground.

"Are you all right to stand?"

I nodded as he gripped my hand. Edward then went over to the other men, who were several paces away, their backs to us.

Alice changed into Rosalie's gown that was much too large for her petite frame, and then wrapped a blanket around her. Rosalie handed her a cup that Alice drank down without comment and then promptly fell asleep close to the fire.

Rosalie quickly stripped me of my soggy clothing and helped me into my only other gown. She then applied a poultice to the bump on my head. After placing mine and Alice's boots by the fire to dry, she handed me a cup and ordered me to drink it down.

I eyed that cup in some doubt. I'd drunk Rosalie's offerings before. They were often unpleasant.

"Drink it, Bella," she ordered me.

I briefly wondered when I had become 'Bella' to her. It expressed closeness, a kinship that I hadn't realized existed. I briefly pondered that and found it pleasant and acceptable. I took the cup in my still shaky hand and drank it down quickly in one gulp. I'd found that was always the best way with Rosalie potions…and perhaps even her food.

I sat down beside my sister, who was lying on her side, out cold to the world. Rosalie called to the men that it was all right for them to turn around, and immediately, Edward was back over with me. He wrapped a blanket around me and then sat down beside me. He sent me one long look before holding out his arm. I gladly accepted his offer and rested my body against his.

I realized he had taken off his chainmail. It was nice to feel only the hardness of his body beside me, but he was wet, apparently from dragging me from the river.

"You should change as well."

I felt him shrug. "I've been wet before. I'll live."

"So will I," I said lightly.

I felt his eyes upon me and looked up. "Yes. No matter what, Bella, you'll live. It's all that matters."

"So that you don't break your vow?" I asked quietly.

He grunted in frustration.

"Why must you _always_ try to pry the words from me? What benefit is it to you to know my thoughts, my feelings? What good would they do either one of us?" I wasn't quite sure what to think about the pain he tried to hide in his voice.

"Perhaps, some things must be stolen," I whispered. "That is, if one is to choose happiness."

"Happiness?" Edward asked his voice full of sarcasm. "We do not live in a world that values happiness. We live, we do our duty to our families, and then we pass on. Happiness is not anywhere in the gods' plans for our lives."

"I disagree. One can find happiness anywhere if they try hard enough. And why must one live their life according to some meddlesome god's plan? It's _our_ life_, our_ fate, and we only inhabit this realm for a brief period. To waste our time here being completely unhappy and unfulfilled seems foolish."

Edward scoffed. "It's when you say such things that I'm reminded how innocent you are in the ways of the world and how much older I am than you."

"Yes, you're practically ancient," I pertly replied as I looked up at Edward to gauge his reaction.

I saw the grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Behave, or I'll regale you with another one of my tales of glorious valor."

A giggle bubbled out of me. Edward was full-out grinning at me then.

"You know, there were easier ways to get that bath," Edward said, surprising a laugh out of me that ended in another coughing fit.

"I'm sorry," he said as he pounded on my back.

I pulled my hand out of the blanket, waving it toward him. "Fine. I'm fine. Stop…pounding on me, old man!"

He went still, his mouth slack in shock. "_Old man_?" He was clearly horrified.

"Practically…ancient, remember?" I rasped out through another onset of giggles.

His eyes narrowed to slits. "One of these days, Isabella of Ostburn, I'm going to prove to you that I'm not quite so old."

"Yes, yes. You're 'young and handsome and virile' as I remember you saying." I patted his arm for good measure.

"Exactly!"

I couldn't help the wistful smile upon my lips as I rested my eyes upon Edward's face.

"You examine me. You find fault with my features?" Eyes the color of newborn spring leaves, the irises encircled with brown and gold, regarded me. Such odd-colored but pretty eyes he possessed.

"Find fault with you? The most handsome knight in the land? Foolish notion, sir."

He grinned and looked down, shaking his head. "You tease me so. You think me an arse."

"And what would be your reply to my saying nay to that?"

He almost shyly flitted his eyes to me. "I would say that you're mistaken. I _am_ a prideful arse."

He was regarding me in an almost mischievous way, looking boyish and carefree. My heart sped up as warmth spread its way through my chest.

If that man had any idea of my depth of feeling for him, I think it might frighten him half to death. If he had any idea how he constantly charmed me and how he made my pulse race and my body long for him. No. Best he not know those things. But still, I kept those quiet little joys close, allowed them to settle within me, allowed them to be my happiness. Allowed myself to freely love this man and all his faults that sat holding me close.

"What?" he asked as he pulled his brows together.

_I love you_. "Nothing. I'm famished. Let us eat."

He looked me over and acted as if he'd pursue the subject, but changed his mind.

"Food," Rosalie said, drawing his attention.

He pulled his eyes from me and then reached for the trencher Rosalie handed him. He accepted it with a quiet thank you. Next, she handed him a cup of tea. Edward made no comment on us sharing those two things, and neither did I.

Alice stirred and sat up, wiping the sleep from her face. "I'm hungry," she declared.

"That's good, for I made plenty," Rosalie said as she handed Alice a trencher of fish that Emmett had caught.

Alice grimaced down at the fish. I knew it wasn't her favorite food, and at first she only picked at it, but hunger soon won out. She began to take bites, making faces at every mouthful.

Jasper sat close to her and simply observed her at first. Then he went to the saddle bags and came back with an oatcake, which he handed to Alice without comment. Alice stared at the oatcake in his hand before sliding her eyes up to Jasper.

"Thank you," she said quietly but with gratitude in her voice.

"My lady," Jasper replied with a ghost of a smile.

Alice quickly looked down, suddenly shy under Jasper's kindness and mild flirtation.

After we ate, Alice and I unbraided our long hair and took turns brushing each other's out. I winched at my sore scalp, but it felt too good to have my hair tended to that I did not complain, and Alice was extra careful with me.

Rosalie and Emmett had slipped off for some private time. I was grateful for the sound of river to drown out what those two were doing out in the trees.

I glanced over to find Edward and Jasper blatantly observing Alice and me. Jasper, for his part, seemed riveted to Alice with her long hair about her shoulders. I glanced to the dress of Rosalie's that she was wearing that was too large in the bust and hung down, revealing much of Alice's chest and chemise. Perhaps it was that as well that held his attention.

Edward…his eyes were upon me, and in them was desire and perhaps even admiration. I met and held that gaze for mere moments, but it felt like eternity. Giving myself a mental shake, I gathered up my hair and tossed it over my shoulder before turning to Alice and beginning the process of rebraiding her thick, dark hair.

Come time to sleep, Jasper had made up Alice a pallet and offered her his blanket.

Alice gazed at that blanket before shaking her head. "No, but I thank you. You need that to keep warm."

"I have first watch, and I rarely get cold. Please take it," Jasper replied.

Alice didn't respond other than to clasp the blanket to her chest. Jasper looked pleased as he went to take up his watch position.

I grinned to myself as I spread out my own pallet, then Edward's beside me. When he came back from his privy trip, I saw something pass over his face at our sleeping arrangement, but he made no comment as he lay down beside me.

"Edward," I whispered, drawing his eyes to my face. "You saved us today, didn't you?"

A blink was all I got in reply.

"My gratitude knows no bounds. My sister and I are indebted to you. We owe you our lives."

"You owe me nothing, Bella," he answered with a frown.

"Just doing your duty? Yes?" I chided him.

"You mock me in this?" The offence was clear in his voice.

"Never. I admire you for that. I believe that inside of you lies a truly great man, longing to be set free. Longing to be not just feared or admired, but loved."

Edward turned away and closed his eyes. "Go to sleep, Bella," he muttered. "And stay out of my head."

_Ah, but what of your heart, Edward of Sunhaven?_

"As you will," I lightly replied, not unhappy with his responses and supremely glad to have him near.

I closed my eyes but found sleep would not come. I thought Edward asleep, but then he spoke, making my eyes fly open and rest upon his face.

"You have beautiful hair. I never had a mother. I'd have liked, as a young boy, to have had quiet conversations with her about my day as I brushed her hair out for her. I never knew much gentleness as a child."

I thought to my own mother and how I'd done the same thing when I was a girl. How sad that Edward never had a mother, never had a loving female influence in this life as he was growing up.

"That makes me sad." I briefly closed my eyes, taking in what Edward had just revealed to me of himself.

"Don't be. That was long ago, and I like you smiling. Perhaps, sometime, you would allow me to brush your hair?"

I reached over and covered his hand on his chest that was gripping his dagger. "I'd like that."

He turned his head to face me. "You have amber flakes in your eyes."

"I do?"

"Yes. It reminds me of…home," he said, his voice barely a whisper.

"And does that make you happy or sad?" I whispered back.

His eyes traveled over my face, as if memorizing it, before meeting my eyes. "It makes me…content. At peace."

If I hadn't loved that man before, those words and the look upon his face would have done it.

I scooted over, and placing the edge of the blanket between my cheek and his chainmail, I laid my head upon his shoulder. I reached down and again covered his hand with mine.

"Sleep peacefully, Edward. I'm here. All is well."

I barely breathed as I awaited his reply.

"_Bella_," was his only reply, but the whole world was in that one word, in my name whispered from his lips.

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**Thanks for reading! **

**Much love,**

**Sunny**


	8. Chapter 8

**GeekChic12 is such an amazing beta. She takes my rough work and puts on the polish. I can't thank her enough. As always, any mistakes are my fault. You all really need to check out her stories!**

**My sweet pre-reader, Lynzlee, makes my day with her notes on my chapter. Her enthusiasm is off the charts and brings an enormous smile to my face.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own the contents of this story.**

**Back to Edward and his thoughts for this chapter. A little warning that there will be some violence, and that this Edward may make you swoon a bit. At least I hope. **

* * *

**White Shadows**

**Chapter 8**

I had second watch, the majority of which I spent restlessly pacing. All I wanted was to be back beside Bella. I couldn't get my thoughts off of what had happened earlier. The images of Bella nearly drowning were permanently embedded in my mind. My breath caught, and I had to once again this night pause and gather myself.

Deciding that I'd been away from Bella long enough and that Emmett could go without a little sleep, I shook him awake. He carefully disentangled himself from the limbs of his wife and then arose. Instantly awake, as usual for him, he rubbed his face and then motioned for me to follow him. Unsure of what he was about, I hesitated with a glance back at Bella.

"It'll only take a moment," he whispered as to not awaken the others.

With a frown, I followed him away from the fire.

When we were about thirty paces away, he halted. "I owe you an apology."

I looked to him in surprise. "For?"

"For riding your arse about Bella. After you pulled her from the river earlier…well, let me just say, some things were made clear. Not only to me, but to everyone else as well."

"What was made clear?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

"You know, this dullard act gets old. I know you like to put on a false face for the world, and I also know how you like to hide your true emotions, but, really? This is _me_ you're talking to."

"You're as bad as Bella," I muttered as I looked down.

I heard his soft chuckle. "Yeah. I noticed she pushes you to be yourself. Your true self. That must frighten you near senseless at times."

"The way that woman gets into my head _is_ downright scary," I agreed.

Then Emmett laughed, covering his mouth to try to keep the sound down. "Alas, I won't get to see you being a mopey bastard because well, you know. But we're drifting off subject. I merely wanted to apologize. Your actions today negated all the words you spoke to me the other night. Are we all right, you and I?"

"Of course," I replied with a slight shrug.

"That's good to hear. And Bella?"

At that I lifted my head, frowning at Emmett in the darkness. "What about Bella?"

"Are you going to admit to her how you feel, or is that to be kept to yourself?"

"My thoughts and feelings regarding Bella are my own." I turned to leave, but Emmett's voice caused my steps to falter.

"Interesting sleeping arrangement you've got going on there, the two of you."

I faced him with crossed arms. "That's not your concern."

"True," Emmett agreed with a shrug. "But…just keep in mind what I said the other day."

"Don't start with me again." Once more I made to leave but paused and turned back to Emmett. "Out of curiosity, what did you mean by 'you know'?"

"Seriously? You're going to make me say it?"

I looked away. "No. You don't have to say it. I'm going back to sleep."

I continued on toward the fire. There beside it, I found myself staring down at Bella's sleeping face in the flickering firelight. My eyes traveled over her smooth forehead, then up to her dark hair. Soft, loose strands curved along her high cheekbone and the line of her jaw. I followed the arch of her brow, the dark lashes that lay against her skin, the contours of her slightly parted lips. All of it coming together to form the perfect face.

Everything I'd been looking for my entire life was lying there all wrapped up in one small bundle of gorgeous, delicate femininity.

I felt my heart clench. _Bella_. No, there'd been no need for Emmett or even me to voice the words. As if mere words could possibly contain the width and breadth of my emotions in regards to this woman.

She rolled to her side and reached out a hand as if looking for me.

I should have stopped this. I should have done the right thing and took her to court and allowed the king to sort this mess out. She would have been safe with the king. I would have made sure of that. I could have explained everything to Alfred. He would have been skeptical, but he would have listened and judged me fairly for he knew me and my character. I should have done that. I should have.

But…I hadn't. More to the point, I couldn't. Taking her to the king would have only served to have her handed back to her father and then to Marsh. Marsh may have been her betrothed, but I'd die before I'd ever allow that monster to have Bella.

Taking a deep breath, I stretched out beside her, mindful of her hand on my pallet. I picked up that small hand and briefly kissed her fingertips before holding it against my chest. I had been watching her sleeping face as I did and was pleased to see the fleeting grin upon her lips.

Not that I'd be disclosing it to her or to anyone but myself, but Isabella of Ostburn was now in the possession of me entirely. The good, the bad, and whatever lay in between. May the gods help us.

I closed my eyes as my mind drifted back to the events of last eve. So much should have been done differently there. I'd failed both Bella and Alice. If we'd lost Alice, I'd have never forgiven myself. If we'd lost Bella…I'd have never recovered.

The moment she'd jumped into the river to rescue her sister was near the end of me. It had been as if time stopped, and I found I was having a hard time moving past it. I'd been in endless fights, tournaments, and life or death situations, but never had I felt numbing fear like that moment. That moment, that precise moment, when I realized that nothing in the world mattered to me but her. Nothing.

To know that she no longer walked this earth…I'd have no more reason to live. So, she shall live. No matter the cost to myself, our families, or even all of Oaklea…Bella would live. I would sacrifice all. All that I was, all that I was to become as heir of Sunhaven…all would be forfeited. For her.

_My life for hers_. An even exchange. One I would gladly make. Even if I lost her in the process, just knowing that she still breathed would suffice. With her I'd finally learned selflessness, the true meaning of sacrifice. I now understood what Bella had been trying to tell me that first day in the meadow. There were indeed some things, _people_, worth giving your life for.

I heard her soft sigh as she tried to shift her body closer to mine. I hesitated only momentarily, then rolled to my side and adjusted our bodies so that her head rested on my arm, her body next to me. Allowing myself one brush of my fingertips across her cheekbone, I then slid my arm around her back and rested my head upon hers.

Only then did I close my eyes and allow myself to dwell in her sweet, warm comfort_._ Bella's words from earlier, s_leep peacefully, Edward. I'm here. All is well_, drifted through my mind. I smiled to myself. Bella was here in my arms. All was indeed well.

In the morning, after breaking our fast, we saddled up and began our journey again. As we rode, my mind drifted. I hoped that Tormund and Myk were nearing their destination soon so that Carlisle would be given my instructions and all was made ready. I briefly glanced to Bella riding beside me. She'd not be happy with anything I'd planned, but that did not matter. It only mattered that we arrive safely there and I could breathe easy once more, knowing she'd be safe.

I sighed in frustration. If only I could find some priest and wed Bella, all would be so much easier. But she was Marsh's, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how we were going to change that fact. Emmett kept saying "Wed her", but how? Was I to defy everything, all the laws of the land, and take a woman who belonged to another? Another voice answered that I'd already made myself an outlaw by seeming to kidnap Bella, so what did one more wrongdoing matter?

God's be. If I ever faced King Alfred again, his censure was sure to be lengthy and harsh.

I reached my hand up and bit the tip of my glove, yanking it off my hand. I tucked the glove into my belt, rubbed my face, then scrubbed my fingers through my hair.

"Tired? You didn't rest much last night."

I glanced to Bella with a shrug. "More frustrated than tired."

"About?"

"A choice I have to make," I answered as I met her eyes.

"Do I have something to do with this choice of yours?"

I sighed. Why did she always have to prod and pry? The woman never left me any peace. If I wasn't careful, she'd have me blubbering about my lonely childhood and my lifelong search for something I never had as a child. Well, that's almost what I told her last night. It seemed all my barriers fell around her. Or perhaps she saw right through those barriers and pulled from me what she wished. Either way, Bella was dangerous to my peace of mind and even perhaps, if I was being honest with myself, my heart.

"Edward?"

She wanted answers? I'd give her one. My gaze locked on hers. "It has everything to do with you."

She looked away. "I see. Are you taking me to court? To the king, then?"

"I should."

She faced me again. "But you're not?"

"What good what that do? What would it accomplish other than to have him hand you back to your father?"

"King Alfred is going to be quite angry with you, I believe."

I shrugged. I'd most likely never see him again anyway. "I worry more about how he'll react toward my father."

"Explain that, please."

"Do we really need to talk about this? The fallout will be bad, Bella. There will be consequences and we won't be the ones to pay them."

Dismay passed over her face. "But…what if our fathers wanted this? What if this was the plan all along?"

"This?"

She frowned. "Don't play the dullard. I know how intelligent you are. This. Us. You and me. Is that plain enough for you?"

I took that in. I was called many things by others. They'd say I was rich, powerful, fearsome, strong, handsome, and even in possession of a sense of humor, but nowhere in there had anyone called me intelligent. I felt warmth from that compliment given so easily by Bella. I then allowed my mind to dwell on the other thing. _This. Us. You and me_. She had no idea, none at all, of the power of those words to me.

"And…how do you feel about that possibly being true?" I couldn't look at her as I asked that life-changing question.

"Edward."

I girded myself, then faced her. Her look was warm, almost as warm as the amber in her eyes.

"Oh, Edward." She reached up and wrapped her hand around the small pouch around her neck. "You already hold the answer to that."

Somewhere along the way of our speaking, we had halted our horses. I studied her face momentarily and began to reply but was halted by Jasper's yell.

"Brigands! Weapons!" Jasper called out.

Cursing my inattention, I yanked my sword out of my scabbard as our group was set upon by what looked to be a group of nomads. In a heartbeat, I counted out ten of them.

"Bella, your bow. Remember all I taught you." I leapt from the saddle and pulled her down beside me. "Stay behind me. Stay safe," I commanded her as I shoved her over by Alice and Rosalie.

Immediately, I spun around and met the sword of an unkempt ruffian that had his sights set upon me. He was quickly dispatched, and I turned to take on another. I briefly glanced behind me to see Bella and Rosalie standing in a line with Alice in the middle holding a small sword in one hand and a dagger in the other. Bella and Rosalie had their bows drawn, waiting on an opening to release their arrows.

I turned back just in time to see an arrow fly past me and straight into the throat of the man I'd been fighting. He dropped his sword as he clawed at the arrow embedded in his neck. Blood spurted from the mortal wound as he fell to his knees and then to the ground where he ceased movement.

I spun around to see Emmett and Jasper in combat with two men each. An arrow flew from Rosalie's bow, and one of the men fell.

"I'll be having your things and those three pretty birds as well," said a big man that lumbered toward me with an enormous two-handed sword.

"You'll be having no such thing," I said with a grin of anticipation. This here was an actual challenge. The first time our swords met, I felt the vibrations from the hard blow travel down my arm. God's be, this was a strong one! We continued on, left parry, right, but he was slowly wearing me down. I needed to end this. I did a quick side-to-side feint and then aimed for his shoulder. He went to block me but didn't see the dagger I held in my left hand as it entered his chest. I shoved it up, aiming for his heart. Blood spurted from his mouth as shock registered upon his large, ugly face.

"You've done killed me," he sputtered in surprise as he fell down as hard as a tree felled by an axe.

I turned to check on Bella to see her just standing there, her bow limply in her hand hanging down at her side.

"No!" Alice suddenly screamed and took off at a run.

It was then I noticed her concern. A brigand had knocked Jasper down and had a club above his head, ready to bring it down on Jasper's face. Alice leapt on the man's back and stabbed her dagger into his neck. He roared in pain and reached around for her, trying to pry her off, but Alice was stuck to him like lichen on a rock. Before I could get to her, she gripped the man's hair pulling his head back and slit his throat. She then jumped off his back and pushed him over.

Emmett was finishing off the last man, and then suddenly all was deathly silent.

I was having a hard time believing what I was witnessing. Alice was standing over the man she'd just killed, her dagger dripping with blood, a smirk of satisfaction curling her lips. Jasper sat up and just stared at her. Alice then abruptly turned to Jasper and went and sat down beside him. She wiped her dagger on her skirt and then tucked it back into its sheath. Jasper just kept staring at her in something akin to awe.

"He was going to kill you," were Alice's almost nonchalant words to Jasper.

Realizing that Alice wasn't the only woman who had killed someone this day, I strode over to Bella. Her head was down, the bow still limp in her hand.

"Bella? Are you injured?"

She rapidly shook her head, then her whole body began to tremble, the bow dropping from her fingers. She slowly lifted her head, and big, brown eyes full of something too terrible to name met mine.

I could almost feel my heart break.

"Oh, Bella." I shoved my sword in my scabbard and gripped her hand. I pulled us both down and cradled her in my lap. "Let it out. You've never taken a life before, have you?"

"N-no," she said through violent shakes. "I'm g-going to be s-sick."

I nodded and rolled her over. She expelled the contents of her stomach, then wiped her lips.

"Better?" I asked as I gently turned her back facing me.

"His eyes," she said. "_So much blood_."

"If it helps, it never gets easier."

"Never?" she asked quietly.

"No. Nor should it."

She curled up in my lap, and I allowed her this time to recover, though I knew we needed to move soon. That group could have friends nearby that would come to check on them. I planned to be a long way away from here by then.

"How fare you, wife?" I heard Emmett ask Rosalie.

"I'm well, husband. I need to make up a tea for poor Bella, though," Rosalie replied to him.

Bella flinched, and I saw her grimace. "No need. Fine. I'm fine," she declared as she arose from my lap.

"You don't look fine," Rosalie said in doubt.

"No, no. I'm fine. I think we should leave here," Bella said as she briefly darted her eyes around to the bodies lying around us. "Alice?"

"Yes?" Alice responded as she leapt up.

"Are you all right?" Bella asked. "That man, you-you…"

"I killed him. Yes." Alice finished for her.

Jasper climbed to his feet and regarded Alice for a moment; then he pulled up the hem of his tunic and took Alice's hands. He gently wiped the blood from them as Alice stood there, quietly observing his tender actions.

"It seems I'm in your debt, my lady," Jasper said to Alice with a small smile.

Alice began to return his smile, but then her expression turned to near anger, and she turned away. "You owe me no debt, Fayhurst."

Jasper went to speak, but after one long look at Alice's rigid back, he changed his mind and went to collect the horses. I met Bella's eyes, a look passing between us at the rocky courtship of her sister and my friend.

"They'll work it out," she whispered to me. "At least I hope they will."

I nodded in agreement, but I was doubtful.

There was some discussion as to what to do about the bodies. We had no shovel to bury them, so we laid them out and Rosalie said some words of the gods over them.

"Well, that was fun and all, but time to go," Emmett called out, and we all headed to our mounts.

I physically picked up Bella and then lifted her into her saddle. She looked at me in surprise. "I could've managed. You did not have to do that."

I reached out and wrapped my fingers around her shin, giving it a small squeeze. "Yes, I did."

I felt her eyes upon me as I swung into my own saddle, but I didn't look her way. "We need to ride hard. The more space we put between us and this place, the better."

"Agreed," Jasper replied.

I kicked my heels into Moonspawn and took the point again. This time, I paid closer attention and did not allow myself to be distracted by Bella. I think she understood, for she did not try to engage me in conversation as she usually did as we rode. But then, perhaps, she was still feeling the effects of killing that man. I wished there was a way I could ease her troubles over that, but it was something a person had to come to deal with on their own.

I frowned. Perhaps not. I was thinking like a male, a trained knight. She'd been raised a lady, a sheltered female. Violence and death were not an everyday part of such a life. I glanced to her in worry. Her face was a bit pale, but otherwise she seemed composed. When we halted for our evening repast, I'd converse with her then and offer her comfort the best I could. It was something I was neither good at nor comfortable with, but for her, I would make the effort.

We rode long and hard and were all, including the horses, exhausted come nightfall. We made camp, and Rosalie did her magic with the fire. She also cooked us some 'stew' that was nearly the worst thing I'd ever tried to eat.

"This won't kill us, will it, wife?" Emmett asked as he doubtfully eyed a spoonful of the stew.

Rosalie sent Emmett a look that could kill, before marching over and taking his bowl. She then proceeded to dump the stew over Emmett's head.

"If you won't eat it, you wear it," Rosalie declared.

Emmett just laughed and pulled Rosalie down into his lap. "Now what am I supposed to eat?" He gave her a lecherous look and wiggled his eyebrows.

Rosalie tried to remain stern, but a giggle bubbled out of her.

With Emmett's suggestive words, I was suddenly very aware of Bella beside me. I'd been pushing the lust far away and trying to control myself, but the picture of Bella naked flashed in my mind and I couldn't make it go away. The more I tried, the more creative that image became until my cock was hard and throbbing. I gritted my teeth and tried to focus on eating. I nearly spat out my next bite, so I gave up on eating. I decided what I needed was to completely focus on something else.

"How are you faring?" I asked Bella, as I adjusted the tunic over my lap.

"I'm…better. If I could just get the image of all that blood out of my mind…" she abruptly sat down her bowl.

"It isn't as if that was palatable anyway," I whispered so that Rosalie wouldn't overhear.

That earned me a little giggle from Bella. "Truth. God's be. What was in that? It tastes like tar."

My grin was an easy one as I leaned back on my left arm. "Tell me your favorite food. Mine was always these meat pies the cook we had at Sunhaven made when I was a boy. She did some sort of magic with meat and vegetables and herbs."

"To have that now," Bella said wistfully. "My favorite is this roasted pheasant that's stuffed with a mixture of berries and nuts. Delicious," she said with a sigh.

My stomach rumbled at the thought of meat pies and roast pheasant. Perhaps this had been a bad subject choice.

"What about your combat training? The swords, daggers, and your bow. How did that come about?"

"I think it started as me trying to prove I could be the son my father always wanted. But, of course, that was impossible. He humored me in my quest to become a knight, thinking my desire to learn combat training and archery a passing fancy. I find it odd how limited women are in our choices, don't you? As if a woman's strengths lie only in being pretty, sewing chair cushions, or making babies."

"You think women should fight like men? Be put in harm's way in battles?" I asked.

She thought about that. "No…that's not precisely what I meant. I just think that women are much more capable than men give them credit for. I mean, why do only men get to inherit the throne? As if a queen couldn't rule on her own the same as a king."

"She'd have to be one formidable woman," I replied.

"Like Rosalie," Bella said with a point to her.

"Yes, like Rosalie," I agreed.

"But not like me?"

What was that question? I decided to deflect rather than try to figure out what lay behind it. "Would you even wish to be queen? Even if only by being the king's wife? Is that something you'd even aspire to?"

She looked away. "No, of course not. Power does not interest me. Happiness and freedom do, though."

"Freedom?"

She shrugged. "Freedom to be my own person. Freedom to live as I please. That holds immense appeal to me."

"What about marriage?"

She sent me a startled look. "What about it?"

"Does that mean freedom from being wed? Do you wish for a life of spinsterhood?"

She scoffed. "I think after those kisses we've exchanged, you'd well know that I'm not a woman who plans to live her life celibate."

I swallowed and looked away. The subject had turned all the way back around to the very subject I'd been trying to avoid and dismiss from my mind. The image of Bella in my arms, my lips pressed to hers came to me and near stole my breath. It had been days since we'd last kissed. It was a hunger deep inside my bones at this point to have my mouth on hers.

Time again to change the subject.

"You're better at archery than me. That's why I wouldn't take up your challenge that day at the castle. I didn't want to be made to look a fool in front of the other men."

Bella wore a look of astonishment. "Truly?"

"Truly. You're the best I've ever seen."

"You're not just saying that because of what I was saying earlier about women?" she asked.

"Do I seem the placating type?"

"No. So, thank you. That's high praise indeed from the mighty Slayer." I detected no sarcasm in her reply, so I merely inclined my head in acknowledgement.

We were quiet for a time while the others were listening to Emmett spin one of his tales. I just hoped he left me out of them. There were some things I would rather Bella not know about me.

"I notice you often reply to a question with another question. Why is that?"

There she went trying to pry inside my head again, and yet, I couldn't resist the temptation. "Do I?"

Her laugh brought a smile to my face.

"I believe it's a way for you to protect yourself and avoid things you'd rather not answer."

I shrugged my shoulder but didn't reply.

She leapt to her feet. "Since you've gone mute and decided to keep your words, I need a privy trip."

I arose and motioned with my hand for her to proceed. After she quickly finished her business, she walked to me and halted just inches from my body. I took a step back, but she followed.

I went to take another step back, but Bella held up her hand. "Halt."

I went still and awaited her next command.

"I think I'd like a kiss."

"You'd like a kiss or you want a kiss?"

"Both."

"I see. And is there any particular man you want this kiss from?"

"Well, let's see. There's Emmett, but he's wed to Rosalie and really doesn't appeal to me. There's Jasper. Now he is handsome and rich and knightly-"

"I get the picture," I growled.

Bella laughed and continued. "But Jasper belongs to my sister, whether he realizes that fact yet or not. So, that leaves…you."

"So, I'm simply the best available?"

She took another step up to me until we were chest to chest, then raised those big brown eyes up to mine. "Certainly not. You're simply…the best. Kiss me, my valiant knight," she whispered.

"As you wish, my lady," I answered with a trembling voice.

Trying for gentleness, I lightly cupped her face and then placed three kisses across her brow. Then one on the tip of her nose. One on each cheekbone. I kissed her eyes closed then just stood there and beheld her beautiful face. A face that I'd sacrifice all for. A face that I'd burn Oaklea to the ground for. A face to live for.

Her eyes fluttered open, and noting my regard of her, she drew her brows together. "Edward? Are you all right?"

For the very first time in my life, I could honestly answer that all was right in my world. "Yes." I chuckled, my happiness in the moment unable to be contained.

She grinned back at me. "Tell me, what is it that invokes such joy in you?"

I leaned my head down and brushed my lips across hers. "You," I whispered.

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**Thanks for reading!**

**Next chapter is another Bella POV where Alice and Jasper finally get some things straight between them. Until then, my dears.**

**xxoo**

**Sunny**

_White Shadows has been nominated for one of the fics that move you the most at the Lemonade Stand. Please go vote! :)  
_


	9. Chapter 9

**I have a wonderful team behind me. GeekChic12, whom I really can't thank enough, is just the best beta. And my pre-reader, Lynzlee, she's a delight. Such sweet, lovely ladies they both are! **

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own the contents of this story.**

**This is Bella. This might bring some feels. This is also where Alice and Jasper get sorted out. Hope you enjoy. xx**

* * *

**White Shadows**

**Chapter 9**

I awoke in Edward's arms, my face tucked into the crook of his neck. His "You" from last eve reverberated within me. One word, but it had been everything. A surprising gift that I hadn't had to pry from him.

I took a deep breath, inhaling Edward's scent into my lungs. He smelled of sweat and horse and wood smoke, but then I did as well. That didn't matter to me, because it was Edward underneath those scents. It was Edward who traveled through my air passages until he became the only smell I could remember. It was Edward who resided within my heart.

Noting he had awoken, I pulled my head back. Warm green eyes met mine.

"Good morn to you."

"And to you as well," Edward responded with a soft smile.

I glanced down at our intertwined bodies. "This is new, but cozy."

His laugh was a low rumble in his chest. "I like it."

I skimmed my nose along his jaw. "I more than like it," I whispered as I lifted my face for a kiss.

"Hmm. I as well," Edward murmured as his lips met mine.

That lazy morning kiss began innocently enough but soon changed. Edward dove his hand into my hair, cupping my skull, holding me firmly against his lips. He moaned; perhaps I did as well, and then suddenly I was on my back with Edward hovering over my chest, his mouth still on mine. I gripped hair, clothing, anything I could on him to keep him close.

"God's be. He's going to bed her," I heard Emmett say from a distance.

"Naw. They'll stop soon. Maybe," Jasper replied, sounding not too sure of that fact.

"You two going to get up this morning or lay there making everyone else jealous?" Rosalie called out.

Reality crept into my awareness of where we were and who might be watching us. I whipped my head around to find the others all standing there observing Edward and me.

"Oh, by the gods! How long have you all been standing there?" I asked in embarrassment as I scrambled to my feet.

"Long enough," Alice replied with a smirk.

I felt my face redden and dropped my head to hide my expression. "Oh."

"Perhaps you need a privy trip?" Edward asked with a small touch to my arm.

I nodded and turned, practically running away from our camp. Only when I knew I was well away from everyone, except Edward who'd followed me, did I stop and rest against a large tree trunk.

"That was…embarrassing."

"Why?" Edward asked.

"Because we were all tangled up in each other and kissing in front of everyone!"

"So?" Edward said with a shrug. "I think you're missing the bigger point here."

"Which is?"

"That we crossed a line that perhaps we shouldn't have."

"Oh."

I looked down at the ground. He was correct. We had been acting like a married couple. If we continued on as we were, a decision would have to be made. We would both have to agree to a limit of how far this would go before we got caught up in passion and the choice was taken from us.

"I find myself most curious as to the thoughts in your head at this moment," Edward said from my side, startling me.

Well, here it was then. "I was thinking about how we're going to have to make a choice soon." I met his eyes unflinchingly.

Edward frowned and shook his head. "There is no choice. At least not at the moment."

"But…there could be," I quickly responded.

He scrubbed a hand over his face. "Bella. It's too early for this conversation."

"You started it."

"Did I?"

I sent him a look. "Don't even start with the question as an answer thing. And yes, you wanted to know what I was thinking, so I told you."

"Well, I didn't think you'd be thinking _that_."

"Thinking what? That perhaps you and I mean more to each other than maiden and protector?"

Edward took a couple of angry strides, then faced me again. "What do you want me to say, Bella? What is it you wish me to do?" he asked in frustration.

I pushed off from the tree and crossed my arms. "Oh, no. I'm not letting you get away with that. If you wish to say something to me, then it's not going to be relayed by me for you to repeat."

"God's be, woman! You talk in circles and make my head ache!"

"I thought that was fairly plain speaking. You're deflecting again. Can't you just be honest with me? Honest with yourself?"

He suddenly gripped my shoulders. "I'm doing the best I can," he growled.

"Are you?"

His mouth was an angry line as he practically glared at me.

"Well? Keeping your words, or do you actually have something to say to me this time?" I demanded.

"You ask too much of me."

"I think I have some right to ask, don't I?" I tried very hard to hide the fear in my words.

Edward swore then. He shoved a hand in his hair and looked as if he was about to come apart.

"You leave me no peace, nor grant me any retreat! Always the questions, the prodding, the pulling, the requests for more. God's be, woman! I can't give you more than _my life_. _Is that not enough_? What is it you wish? You wish me to strip myself bare for you? You wish for _every_ last thought, feeling, and desire of mine to be known? You wish to leave me defenseless against you? You wish for me to be less than I am so that you get what _you_ want? I'm already sacrificing all for you, but that's not enough? What do you want of me, Isabella of Ostburn? _My very soul_? Is that what you want? Tell me!"

Tears fell down my cheeks. Shaken to my very being, I could only stare at Edward after that passionate speech. How to even reply to such raw emotion? Were there even words big and right enough to respond to such questions? I'd unknowingly wounded this man, asked too much, more than he was willing or capable of giving. Just because I loved him beyond measure, did not mean he felt the same.

Reality came crashing down and sudden depression engulfed me. My chin fell and my shoulders drooped. I felt myself shrink as the fight went out of me.

"I only ever want from you what you'll give me freely. I need to use the privy. I'll return quickly," I mumbled as I turned and sped away.

We were silent and awkward with each other after that. In fact, Edward and I didn't speak the rest of the day. Come nightfall and time to bed down for the night, Edward made sure his pallet wasn't too close to mine. I merely frowned and rolled over, putting my back to him.

This continued on the next day. We were getting looks from the others, but no one said anything to either one of us about our abrupt change in attitude toward each other.

"Village ahead," Jasper said as he returned from his scouting.

"Food," I heard Alice say with a happy sigh.

"We can't all go riding into the middle of a village. That's sure to raise some eyebrows," Edward said. "Emmett, you and Rosalie head into the village and purchase us some food. See if you can find out if there's been any word of them searching for us."

After what seemed like an eternity, Emmett and Rosalie came back with a sack of food. All of us delightedly fell upon the first truly edible meal in over a week.

"They're searching for you," Emmett said to Edward around a bite of meat pie.

"Who is?" he asked, sounding unsurprised.

"Pryefort. Ostburn. The King's men. It would be easier to say who _isn't_ searching for you," Emmett replied in amusement.

Edward didn't find this funny in the least. "The King's men? How…? Have soldiers been in the village?"

Emmett curtly nodded. "Two days past. They headed west."

I saw Edward look to Jasper, then back to Emmett. "Now, or do we wait?"

"I say a few more days. There's safety in numbers, you know, but yeah. In a couple of days, it may come to that," Jasper replied.

"What in Amadayea's name are you men blabbing about?" Rosalie asked as she took a stance in front of Emmett with her hands on her hips.

"Splitting up, obviously," Emmett answered.

"Ah." Rosalie titled her head and held up her hands. She closed her eyes and mouthed unintelligible words. With a sudden movement, she opened her eyes and flung down her hands. "Yes."

"Just yes?" Emmett asked with a laugh. "That's all you got for us, wife?"

"Three days. That better?" Rosalie asked with a roll of her eyes.

"Works for me if it means I get you alone," Emmett replied with a wink.

"God's be," Edward muttered under his breath. "Let's move."

Everyone shoved the last of their food into their mouths as we headed toward our mounts. I was surprised to find Edward beside my horse. He lifted me up and sat me in the saddle so quickly, I could only gape at his back as he walked away.

Well, that was some progress at least. He was touching me again. It was something. Perhaps by this eve we'd be back speaking again.

That night I awoke to find Edward gazing at me. Something told me that he'd been watching me sleep for some time. Curious as to that fact, I rolled over to face him, but he lay back down and closed his eyes. Unsure of what that had been about, I spent a restless bell trying to get back to sleep.

Another day of Edward's silence, but I noticed a change in that silence. It was almost…contemplative. As if he was coming to some decision. Or perhaps I was just used to silent Edward by this time, and his silence was my new dwelling place.

The third day, we arose to Rosalie already making tea for us. "Today," was all she said, but I stiffened at her words.

I looked to Edward, but he seemed pre-occupied. He did curtly nod his head in Rosalie's direction, though.

After a small meal to break our fast, where no one had much to say, I glanced around to the others. "Is no one to speak? How are we to divide up? Emmett and Rosalie, obviously, but the rest of us?"

"You and Alice will ride with me. Jasper can lead a false trail east, before doubling back. Emmett and Rosalie are to ride south and then west," Edward said as he arose.

"How far south?" Emmett asked.

"To Bellefield," Edward replied.

Emmett nodded, and then he and Rosalie worked on dousing the fire.

My eyes fell upon my sister, then Jasper. He seemed displeased with the arrangement Edward had laid out.

Jasper slowly arose, adjusted his sword, and then squared his shoulders. "Alice rides with me."

"No," was Edward's curt reply as he turned toward the horses.

Alice stood up and sent Jasper a challenging look. "I ride with my sister."

"You ride with me," Jasper stated as he and Alice stood face-to-face.

"No," Alice replied defiantly.

My eyes darted to Edward, but he was watching this debate between his friend and my sister almost indifferently. I went to speak to Alice but then snapped my mouth shut. Whatever this had been or was to be between Alice and Jasper, it was about to be sorted out in this moment. It wasn't my place to interfere.

"I said, you ride with me," Jasper repeated patiently, as if Alice hadn't spoken.

"You think you can just boss me arou-"

Alice's words were cut off as Jasper gripped the back of her head and took her mouth in a kiss. Alice just stood there, shocked into immobility. Then by increments, her body softened until she was practically slumped against Jasper's chest.

Jasper lifted his head, astonishment upon his countenance. His expression slowly melted into one of delight as his face split into a grin. He took in Alice's unfocused eyes, her dreamy expression, and looked well pleased, smug even. "I said, you ride with me."

"I ride with you," she responded, her voice all soft.

Jasper's face became serious as he took her face into his hands. "Choose me."

"What?" Alice asked in confusion.

"Choose me, Alice," Jasper reiterated.

Alice blinked several times, and then her expression cleared. "What? You cannot be serious. You don't even _like_ me."

"Not like you? Whatever made you think I don't like you?" Jasper asked, nonplused.

"You've run away from me as if I was carrying the plague up until, well, practically now!" Alice replied.

"That's because I'm an idiot. I promise that I'm over it now."

Alice sent him a look of disbelief. "Well, you are kind of an idiot, but…I still don't think this to be true."

"What can I do to convince you?" Jasper nearly pleaded.

"I'm not sure there is anything you could do." As her sister, who knew her well, I could hear the sadness in her words.

Jasper became contemplative. He was silent in front of Alice for some time, then nodded to himself and raised his right palm. "Choose me."

"What?" Alice stared at his raised palm as if she'd never seen such a thing as a hand.

"Bind with me, Mary Alice of Ostburn. Make me your mate."

Alice stared at him, dumbfounded. "Are you _mocking_ me?"

"No. Never. I'm _trying_ to tell you that I love you, woman. Bind with me. I'll make you a good husband, I promise. I offer you my name, my protection, my heart…and anything else you might desire. Choose me, please," Jasper ended softly.

"You really love me?" Alice whispered.

"I swear that I do. Do you care enough for me to make me your husband?" Jasper asked, sounding a bit afraid of her answer.

Alice stood there for five heartbeats before she placed her hand on Jasper's chest. I could see the change come over her. The relief and joy of Jasper's love and desire to be her husband wasn't a dream any longer but her new reality. "Jasper of Fayhurst, I've loved you since before I met you. It was _you_ whom I was waiting for. It was you," Alice reassured Jasper with a soft smile. "So yes, I choose you. In the sight of all the gods, I choose you to be my mate."

I darted my eyes to the others to see Emmett behind Rosalie, his arms wrapped around her waist, his head on her shoulder as they observed Alice and Jasper.

I sensed Edward behind me, close, but not touching.

I turned my attention back to Alice and Jasper to see her raising her palm and laying it against Jasper's. They then began the ceremony.

"I will walk…"

"…where you walk."

I reached back, searching for Edward's hand. Finding his fingers, I wrapped mine around his. He didn't respond at first, then I felt him curl his hand around mine.

"I will journey…"

"…where you journey."

I leaned back, resting against his chest. He again hesitated but then responded by sliding his hand down my waist to my hip and gently tugging me back closer to his body.

"I will dwell…"

"…where you dwell."

Edward's head rested against my hair, his breath warm along my scalp. "I'm sorry. That wasn't well done of me the other day. It wasn't you I was upset with. Forgive me?" Edward whispered into my ear.

I reached down and took his hand on my hip, moving it to my waist where I then slid my fingers between his. Slightly adjusting my head closer to his, I whispered back, "Yes."

"My heart and my body are yours," Alice and Jasper said in tandem. "By all the gods, you are mine, and nothing but death may separate us."

I briefly closed my eyes as my sister and her new husband invoked all the gods to bless their union.

The ceremony ended, and everyone fell into an almost reverent silence. I looked to Emmett and Rosalie, who were having a hard time deciding who warranted more attention- me and Edward in a knowing, comfortable embrace, or Alice and Jasper, who'd just become a wedded couple.

"I had no idea that Jasper actually had the bollocks to pull something like that off. Impressive," Emmett said into the silence. That lightened the mood considerably and brought smiles and quiet laughter to the rest of us.

"Concern yourself with your own bollocks," Jasper cheekily replied as he wrapped his arms around Alice and bestowed upon her a quick little kiss. That hadn't been enough for my sister as she forcefully gripped the back of Jasper's head and planted her lips back on his. They kissed hard and long enough to make us all uncomfortable.

"God's be. We don't want to watch the bedding. Jasper's bare humping arse is the last sight anyone needs to see," Emmett called out.

Alice pulled her face back and sent Emmett a shocked look. She turned back to Jasper with anticipation in her eyes. "Oh. _The bedding_."

Jasper cleared his throat and averted his eyes almost shyly. "That…we'll…uh, tonight," he mumbled. He raised Alice's right hand and kissed the back of it before nearly trotting in desperation over to ready the horses.

I was giggling to myself as I looked up to Edward. His face was guarded, but his arms still held me loosely, comfortably, as if a long habit of his.

It came to me then, my course of action. This man that held me, he cared for me, whether he would admit to that fact or not. _No marriage is final until the bedding_. I wasn't Marsh's true wife. Not yet. Not ever. But I planned to be Edward's. I smiled to myself. I would wait until we were alone for he would be sure to put up a fight, but I would win. There was no way that Edward would refuse me the binding. I was as certain of that as I was of my own heartbeat.

I pictured the scene in my head and couldn't hide my grin at the image of Edward gaping at me in shock at my actions.

Edward gave me one long look before warmth crept into his eyes and brought a curl of amusement to his lips. "Tell me, what makes you smile so, Bella?"

I released Edward's hand and slowly turned until I was facing him. "This day. My sister's happiness. You," I ended boldly before I spun back around and went to congratulate my sister.

"About time," Rosalie said to Alice as I hugged my sister to me.

Alice giggled as she slipped out of my arms. "And I thought Jasper didn't even like me," she replied to Rosalie.

"Oh, he likes you just fine. Loves you. All you had to do was ask me. Here." Rosalie handed a pouch to Alice.

My sister hesitated and then held out her hand. Rosalie settled it into her palm, then curled Alice's fingers around it. Rosalie closed her eyes as her hands covered Alice's. "Goddess, I call upon you now to bless this union." She then chanted some words in a language I'd never heard before. I saw a soft, fuzzy light shine through their fingers, and then Rosalie abruptly let go and stepped back. "All will be well. Go with the goddess, my friend."

Alice gaped down at her now empty hand, then darted her wide eyes back up to Rosalie's face. She simply nodded in bemusement.

Emmett and Edward came over and offered their congratulations to Alice, and then they went over to Jasper, Alice following in their wake.

Rosalie turned her attention to me. "May I call a blessing upon you as well, Bella?"

I wasn't an overly religious person and had no particular favorite god, but a blessing sounded comforting.

"All right."

I held out my hand for her, but Rosalie shook her head. She took my hand and raised it to my pouch. She then held her hand over mine as she pressed the pouch against my chest. She murmured more words in that strange language, different from the ones she'd said for Alice. I felt my chest grow warm, then it was if that warmth traveled throughout my entire body.

Truthfully, it frightened me, and I nearly jerked away from Rosalie.

"What you plan to do. It's the right choice," Rosalie said as she abruptly let go of my hand and stepped back.

I had no idea if she was talking about my future attempt at the binding with Edward or something else.

"The binding?"

Rosalie curtly nodded.

"But will Edward accept that choice?" My eyes darted to him over by the others, deep in a conversation with Jasper.

Rosalie's grin was a sly one. "Why do you ask me that? You already know the answer, Bella. That choice was made a long time ago." Her face set in seriousness then. "But remember, no gain is made without a loss. Do you understand?"

"No. Not at all," I responded with dismay, afraid of what would be lost by gaining Edward as my mate.

"What do you want most? If you could give me one word in the whole world, the most important word ever, what would it be?"

My answer as an easy one. "Edward."

"And what are you willing to sacrifice for him?"

"Anything."

"And what do you think Edward would lose in gaining you?"

I blinked. "I don't wish him to lose anything."

"But he will. You must see that. You'll never be the mistress of Sunhaven. You'll never live in that fine castle above the Amber Isle, and neither again will he."

Tears sprung to my eyes. "You're telling me that in taking me to wife, Edward would forfeit all that he is."

"Yes."

"I'll be the ruin of him." I hugged myself as tears slid down my face. Rosalie's look told me all that I needed to know. "But that doesn't even matter now, because it's too late, isn't it?"

"Bella, it was too late the moment he watched you dancing at your brother's birthing celebration. He was meant to be yours, and you were meant to be his. This course is set and cannot be altered. And remember Edward's choices will be his own. He's too stubborn to be forced into anything he doesn't already want to do. My words for you are merely cautionary ones to not let bitterness and resentment creep into your relationship. Your love for him must be strong and unwavering. He'll need it. He'll need your strength and support until he can figure out what it is he will be if he's not to be who he was."

"I don't know if I'm that strong," I whispered.

Rosalie pulled me to her for a crushing hug. "You are, Bella. You are."

"A lot of hugging going on here today. Where's mine?" Emmett asked from beside us, sounding as if he was pouting.

"You'll get yours later," Rosalie said to Emmett with a laugh.

"That holds promise," Emmett replied as his eyes traveled to Rosalie's ample bosom. I glanced away in embarrassment, then quickly walked over to my sister and the others.

Edward's eyes fell upon my face.

I halted as a pain squeezed my heart so hard it took the breath from my body. It wasn't too late. I could be brave and unselfish. I could.

Tears were flowing from my eyes as I gazed upon that face I loved so much. I then understood Edward's passionate speech to me three days prior. I then understood what I'd asked of this man and what my love for him would cost him. I then understood that one day, he may resent me for that. I turned my face from his, unable to bear it another moment.

Why couldn't life be easy? Why couldn't things be simple and straightforward? Why couldn't Edward and I have been poor peasants who were free to live their lives as they choose? Why didn't I just set this man free? I could have him take me to court and end this.

I stood there and realized that in that moment, two paths lay before me. One led to the king, the return to my home, and then to Pryefort. It would set all to rights. It would free Edward to live his life as he should. The other led to some unknown destination. It led to us binding and forfeiting all that we were prior.

Despite what Rosalie had said to me about my choice being the right one, it was only the right one for _me_.

"Bella? You need to take your leave of Alice. We must ride," Edward said.

I slowly lifted my head. Edward stood there before me. Edward, who I loved more than life. But he wasn't mine, and it was wrong to make him so. My path was suddenly clear. I would be brave.

"I wish to go to court. To the king."

Everyone fell silent.

Edward crossed his arms. "No."

"It's what I wish."

"No."

"You would deny me my request?" I asked, trying to sound offended and not like I was ready to burst into tears again.

"Yes."

"You've no right to deny me my choice. I wish to go to the king," I said.

"I have every right," Edward replied.

"I release you from your protection of me. I set you free. I wish to place myself upon the mercy of the king."

"Have you gone mad? No," Edward said in frustration.

"But it's what's best for you," I whispered.

"I'll decide what's best for me, Isabella of Ostburn. What's best for you is to never fall into Marsh's clutches."

"My life is not worth more than yours, Edward of Sunhaven," I said, my voice breaking.

"Yes, it is," he said roughly as his hands gently wrapped around my arms, tugging me in front of him. "What's this about, Bella? All has been long decided. We make no alterations now."

"I don't know if I can live with the consequences," I answered him as tears spilled from my eyes.

"I can, and you can as well. There will be no taking you to the king. There will be no you releasing me from protecting you. There will be no separation of us. Now, dry those tears from your pretty face," Edward said tenderly as his thumb brushed over my lashes.

His tenderness was my undoing. I leaned my forehead against his chest as the tears continued unabated.

Edward lightly stroked down my spine as I gathered myself back together. "Bella. Please stop fretting. It makes me want to stab something."

A surprised laugh escaped my lips. "Me?"

"God's be, no," Edward chuckled. "Emmett maybe," Edward said with a cock of his head and a wink.

"Just don't injure anything Rosalie may find useful," I replied lightly.

"Well, that still leaves a pretty large target," Rosalie called out as everyone laughed and then went back to talking.

"Are you all right?" Edward asked me quietly, his eyes worried.

I deflected. "Are you sure?"

"Of?"

"Of me," I answered.

"Trying to pull words from me again, I see," Edward said with an easy smile.

"It's my one true talent," I replied. "Answer me."

Edward took a deep breath. "I'm sure."

I reached up and lightly touched his face. "I'll never give you cause to doubt me."

Edward rubbed my arms. "I wish to the gods that I could tell you the same," he said, sounding a bit broken as he let go of me and walked away.

After our good-byes, mine from Alice a bit wrenching, we mounted up. There was one moment where we all looked to each other. We knew that it would be some time before we saw each other again, and when we did, it wouldn't be the same. Some bond had formed between us all that was hard to identify or explain, but it was there nonetheless.

"Be safe," I said to the others.

"You and Edward as well," Jasper replied.

"Until we meet again," Emmett said.

"We'll meet again," Rosalie assured us.

"I'll miss you, sister," Alice called to me.

"I'll miss you as well," I responded, tears threatening again at the realization that I'd be parted from my sister for the first time in my life. "Guard her with your life, Jasper. She's my precious one."

"I so swear," Jasper promised.

"Remember the plan. Stay off main roads, and avoid other people as much as possible. Hopefully we'll meet up in the next fortnight. Until then," Edward finished.

"Until then," Emmett replied with a nod, and then he and Rosalie rode away to the south.

"Good-bye," Alice called back as she and Jasper headed east.

I watched her riding away, unable to hold back my tears any longer. This day had been highly emotional and it was only fifth bell.

Edward kicked his horse over next to mine. He then reached over and gripped my shoulder. "She'll be fine. Jasper is near as good a swordsman as myself."

I nodded. "It's just that we've never been separated."

"Well, you still have me, poor replacement that I am for the much more pleasant company of your sister."

"_Do_ I have you?"

"This again?"

I couldn't help my amusement. "Yes. This again."

"You wish for straight answers from me?"

"Once in a while would be nice," I pertly replied as I wiped the tears off my cheeks.

"Fine. Then I'll give you one. Yes."

"Yes, what? Yes you'll give me an answer?"

Edward near rolled his eyes. "You asked a question. I answered it."

"What is this? The almighty Edward of Sunhaven, the King's champion, the feared Slayer, just admitted he was mine?" I said all that lightly, knowing he would never straightforwardly give so much of himself away.

His hand slid down from my shoulder and gripped my hand holding the rein.

"Bella. I said _yes_."

I went very still, understanding the power and turning point of this moment.

My eyes traveled from his hand covering mine up to his face. His expression was open and truthfully a bit frightened.

"Well, then." I graced him with a soft grin and saw the relief in his eyes.

"Let's ride. We've much ground to cover this day," Edward said as he transferred his hand back to Moonspawn's rein, then donned his helm.

"Yes, let's ride," I agreed, wishing to have this day done. The night and its subtle promise made me smile to myself as I kicked my horse to follow Edward's.

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**Thanks so much for reading! Next chapter is…fun. ;)**

**Much love,**

**Sunny**


	10. Chapter 10

**My beta rocks, just so you know. GeekChic12 is the best beta an author could have. I cannot praise her enough. You should go check out her stories, for she's a great writer as well.**

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**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own the contents of this story.**

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**White Shadows**

**Chapter 10**

I continuously scanned our surroundings as my ears were closely attuned to every sound around us. I'd not make the fatal error of being blindsided in an attack and Bella getting hurt…or worse.

Things were different now that it was only me to protect her. My vigilance had to be non-stop and distractions kept to a minimum. That included not conversing with the only other person with me as we rode. Bella had accepted my order easily enough, but I could tell the boredom was getting to her.

I heard her softly humming to herself, and then an annoyed sigh. "Edward?"

I should have known she'd not follow my order for silence unless necessity dictated otherwise. "Yes?" I called back.

"Can we stop soon? I'm tired. And hungry. And mighty bored."

"It's not even close to nightfall," I reminded her.

"But I'm exhausted. The morn took a toll on me," was her barely audible reply.

Conceding that point, I halted my horse and lightly steered him around to beside Bella's. She did look near to falling out of her saddle.

"Let's find somewhere nearby to sleep for the night. Perhaps even a small body of water so that you may have a bath."

She perked up at that. "Oh, yes, please."

I grinned. "I'd like one as well. Let's ride a bit longer and see if we come upon such an oasis. Can you bear it a little while more?"

"Yes. Lead on."

With a flick of the reins, I had Moonspawn turned back westerly and set the pace again. A short while later, I spied a small structure up ahead.

"A farm? Here?" Bella asked quietly as she halted her horse beside mine.

"Not sure. As remote and uninhabited as this part of the upper mid-lands is, it could just be a seasonal hunting lodge. I'll check it out. You stay here. Do not move. Keep your bow drawn. Understand me? Do not move. Do not make a sound."

"I understand," she said gravely.

I slid out of the saddle and waited for her to nock an arrow before making my way stealthily on foot, sword in hand. Once at the small wood structure, I secured the outside perimeter, before thumping on the door with the butt end of my sword. Getting no reply, I kicked in the door and rushed in with sword ready…to find nothing but a frightened, startled squirrel and numerous cobwebs as the inhabitants.

The squirrel darted for the door, but I whipped out my dagger and impaled him. At least I knew Bella would have some meat for her evening repast. I went back outside and checked out the crude stable. Deciding it was safe enough for the horses for the night, I made my way back to Bella.

She lowered her bow. "It's safe?"

"It's safe. I think we can stay there this eve. I even secured the one lone resident as your evening meal."

Her look was perplexed. "Resident?"

"A squirrel," I replied with a laugh.

"Ah," she answered with her own little laugh.

"Come. I didn't quite get you that bath you wanted this day, but for one night you won't have to sleep on the ground."

"Lovely," she sighed. She swung out of her saddle, landing with grace in front of me. "I'm sore tired of riding. My backside will never be the same." Her hand holding the reins of her equally tired horse, she walked past me.

My eyes slid down her long braid, the end of which bounced against that backside she'd just been discussing. Her backside looked just fine to me. I liked her front even better.

I shook my head, then clicked for Moonspawn, who was well trained and would follow without me leading him. As I paced behind Bella, I pondered this night. We'd be alone for the first time. Completely and totally alone.

Bella had been right the other day. We should have decided on our boundaries before we put ourselves in this situation. Passion simmered between us, and God's be, that was a powerful thing, but more was at stake here than slaking our lust.

"Are the stables safe?" Bella asked, knocking me out of my not-so-innocent thoughts of her.

"I think so. The hay there is old, though. We'll have to gather grasses for them. The watering troughs are intact. I saw a capped well out behind the lodge."

We got the horses settled, albeit Moonspawn made it known that he wasn't best pleased by his accommodations this night. I patted his neck. "You'll live for one night," I said to him in amusement. He huffed hot hair into my face and tried to nip my shoulder, but I stepped back quickly, knowing well that nasty trick.

"He's temperamental. Like his owner," Bella said with a grin.

"Yes. He's pretty much the perfect horse," I replied, and then Bella laughed.

"I see you admire things that have a bit of fire in them. Some fight to their soul."

My eyes skimmed over her pretty face. She had just precisely described herself and what I admired most about her. "Yes, I do."

Noting my regard of her person, she became a little flustered and began to nearly babble. "I peeked into the lodge and saw what must be a hundred spiders. Now, I do wish to sleep indoors this eve, but I have no wish to share that space with all those eight-legged fiends."

I chuckled at that pronouncement. "You fight near as well as a man and are scared of a little spider?"

"_Yes_," she replied vehemently. "Lots of spiders, by the way."

"Well, allow me, my lady, to take some branches and see if I can clear out those unwelcome houseguests."

My mood was light as I attended to my task. I had no real fear of spiders, but I could admit that some of them of the larger size living in the lodge almost gave me pause. Once I thought that I had rid the dwelling of its eight-legged inhabitants, I went to find logs for the fire pit.

"I'll skin and gut the squirrel as you do that," Bella offered.

"You sure? I don't mind."

"You can't do everything. Allow me to do something."

"You'll skin and gut a squirrel, but spiders…no," I laughed as I walked away to gather the wood.

As I gathered kindling, I heard her exclaim, "I found the well. Fresh water!"

I carried into the lodge the kindling I'd gathered and pulled out my flint, quickly sparking a fire to life.

"I tied our cooking pot to the extra rope you had to retrieve water from the well. It seems drinkable. Looks like I'll get that bath after all. If only a sponge bath," she said happily.

I tried very hard not to think about Bella bathing herself. "I'm gratified that the accommodations this eve please you, my lady," I replied to hide my lust.

"I have in my future a bath, a warm repast, and, of course, you. How could I not be happy?"

Her smile was an arrow right to my heart. I rose and turned for the door.

"Edward?"

I spun around. "Yes?"

"My saddlebag. Would you mind fetching it?"

"Sure," I said as I turned to leave.

Quickly retrieving her bag, I re-entered the lodge. I was unprepared for the sight that awaited me. I halted as I took in Bella with her hair unbound, clad just in her chemise. My body's reaction was immediate and not unexpected. This beauty before me had been haunting my dreams. It was no wonder that the sight of her nearly unclothed brought me to immediate lust.

"Your bag," I said as I dropped it, then turned and desperately ran out the door, slamming it closed behind me.

I stripped down by the well and bathed myself best I could with a cloth and cold water. Hoping that I'd eliminated at least some of the stink and dirt from my body, I donned a fresh undershirt and leggings. I hesitated momentarily, then pulled my hauberk over my head. The chainmail set heavy upon my body, but it was a weight that I was accustomed to. Only a fool let their guard down and left themselves vulnerable.

I lightly knocked on the door.

"Come in," Bella called.

I entered and looked around at the then almost cozy lodge. Bella had the fire going strong, the squirrel on a spit over it roasting. She'd bathed and changed, her hair damp and loosely rebraided and her clothing changed. She looked transformed. I tried not to stare.

"Have a seat. I think the squirrel is nearly done, but I'm no cook. Perhaps you might check it?"

I nodded and fell to my knees. Seeing that the squirrel still needed some time over the fire, I turned the spit and sat back on my haunches.

"This is lovely. After all that time in the saddle, I feel as if I never wish to leave here," Bella said as she sunk down into a crossed-legged position across the fire from me.

Unable to dispute that wish, I merely stared into the flames.

"Nothing to say this eve?" Bella asked me.

_There were endless things to say_.

"Is there a particular subject on which you wished to converse?"

She folded her hands in her lap. "I'd like to speak of your father. I met him once at court when I was a child. He seemed…sad."

I gazed into the flames for some time before answering her. "Yes, that is an accurate description of him. Sad. Ever in mourning. Such is my father 'til this day."

"He misses your mother?"

I picked up a twig and tossed it into the flames. "He loved her," I replied, as if that answered all.

"I see."

My eyes fell upon Bella. "Their union wasn't one of politics, money, or power. He wed her because she was the woman he wanted. When she died…he was never the same."

"How tragic his loss. Yet how lovely and rare, at least with people of our class, to wed for love."

"Pawns in a kingdom-wide chess game," I agreed.

"You don't resemble him much, other than your height."

I nodded. "I look like my mother, I'm told."

"It must've been hard growing up without a mother," she said, waiting for me to take up that conversation.

I had no wish to follow that line of thought. "No worse than most, I guess."

"At least you had a father."

"Did I?" I quietly replied.

"Your father didn't love you?"

"I'm sure he did. Does. But…" I drifted off, my mind lost in my lonely childhood.

"His melancholy. It must have consumed him to the point that he had nothing else to give, to you or anyone."

I shrugged. "I suppose. To get his attention, I trained constantly until, by the age of ten, I could take down a full grown man. By my fifteenth year, no man could best me."

"Did it work?"

I picked up an acorn cap from the floor and angrily tossed it into the fire, feeling a certain satisfaction when it popped and split in half.

"No."

We fell silent for a time after that.

"Edward." I lifted my head to see Bella gazing at me, her face impassive. "Do you think that squirrel is done? I'm famished."

I checked it and noted it was indeed cooked through. I handed it to her.

She looked at the food I offered, then my face. "Only half. The rest is for you."

"It's all for you," I said as I nearly shoved the squirrel at her.

She took it, then pulled out her dagger. She quickly halved the squirrel and handed the remainder back to me. "Eat."

"That was to be for you," I replied stubbornly.

"Eat," she reiterated with a frown.

I hesitated briefly, then took the squirrel from her. We consumed our repast in silence. Once our meager meal was finished, Bella threw the bones into the fire. She watched the flames devour her offering, her face contemplative.

I threw my own bones into the fire and then leaned back on my elbow. Content just to be in her presence, I silently gazed into the flames.

"That was a mighty compliment you paid me earlier. I thank you."

It had been one damned long day, and I wasn't sure of what she was speaking. My brow was quizzical as I settled my gaze upon her face. "Compliment?"

"When you said I fight near as well as a man. High praise indeed."

"Ah. Well, you do very well for yourself."

"But then you also called me pretty this morn," she said with an impish grin.

"You are," I replied as I tossed a leaf into the flames.

"I'm sure there are lots of beautiful woman at court dressed in their finest silks."

I shrugged. "The king does enjoy the fairer sex."

"And you as well," she added.

"The gods wouldn't have made women pretty and desirable if he didn't wish men to notice them."

"True. But then the same could be said for handsome, virile men in regards to womenfolk."

"Are you saying you find me pleasing to gaze upon?" I asked as I threw her a bit of my smolder.

"God's be. When you look at me like that, I think I might…what was your question?"

I laughed. "I asked if you think I'm handsome."

"Ah. Well, you know."

"Know what?" I prodded for more information.

She looked embarrassed and tilted her head down. "Your ego is big enough. Do you really need me telling you that I think you're the most handsome man I've ever set my eyes upon? Do you really need me to describe to you the thoughts in my head regarding that body of yours?"

I sucked in a breath. My eyes locked on her. I waited until she finally lifted her chin and met my level gaze.

_I'd rather you show me_.

"Bella. There is a line. Cross it, and there's no turning back."

She took a deep breath. "There's an answer there between us. One that would solve all our problems."

That damned binding. I threw curses to every god. "It's not that simple."

"To the contrary. I think you're the one trying to make this more complicated than need be."

I stood up and began to pace. "You can't just snap your fingers and suddenly be unspoken for."

She stood up and crossed her arms as her face set in stubbornness. "I never asked to be given away to a monster. I hereby renounce that choice that was thrust upon me. I consider myself a free woman with a free will to exert as I would."

"So now you're the queen of this land, making your own laws and ignoring the ones in place?" I had no idea why I was arguing this point with her. It wasn't as if I would ever allow her to be Marsh's wife.

"You make _no sense_. You tell me that I'll never belong to Marsh, but yet you say that I'm still his and cannot make another choice? It can't be both ways, Edward. What's this really about?"

_It's about me being scared to death of what lies between you and me, and of what it could become_.

I looked away. "I'm going to check on the horses. You should lay out your pallet and try to sleep."

"Answer me!"

I slowly turned back around. "It's about you. As all things are with me."

Again, I went to leave.

"Are you returning?" she asked, her voice tremulous.

I paused at the door. "Yes. Of course."

I made my way in the dark to the stable. The horses greeted me, Moonspawn nudging me with his head as I checked on their water. I leaned against his warm body as I fell into contemplation of what was the right thing to do.

I felt the pouch around my neck grow warm against my skin. Startled, I pulled it out and studied it. It still wouldn't open, but it did give a little. Mildly disturbed by its warmth and subtle glow, I dropped it back against my chest. Who knew what kind of mischief Rosalie had cooked up with these little pouches she had given Bella and me. Whatever it was, it felt…important.

I shook my head, and with one last pat to Moonspawn, I strode back to the lodge. Opening the door, I found Bella had cleared a part of the floor and laid out our two pallets next to each other. I secured the door best I could and then went and stood over her. She was on her side and pretending to sleep, but I knew this woman by now, and she wasn't sleeping.

I unhooked my sword belt and laid it beside my pallet. I paused, then gripped the bottom of my hauberk and pulled it over my head. It landed on the wooden floor with a loud metallic thump that made Bella jerk, proving she wasn't asleep. Not making any attempt to be quiet after that, I tugged off my boots and threw them aside. I then stretched out beside Bella on my side facing her.

"Bella."

"What?" she asked, sounding cross with me.

"Those women at court, they've got nothing on you. They'd be green with envy to see such a fresh-faced beauty in their midst."

She glanced back at me over her shoulder before rolling over to face me. "Compliments? Why?"

"You deserve them," I replied quietly.

"I'll decide what it is I deserve, Edward of Sunhaven."

"Even if that choice is wrong for you? Even if that choice is unworthy of you?" I whispered.

"Especially then," she gave back to me.

"A message?"

"For you?" she replied with a grin.

I had to grin back at her for using my own tactic against me.

"Yes, for you," she clarified.

"Duly noted."

"Kiss me," she implored.

"We shouldn't."

She huffed, then scooted her body over until she was nearly touching mine. "I'm sick and tired of what we _shouldn't_ be doing. Kiss me."

"A kiss. We're not crossing that line this night."

"Hmm. Those words hold promise," she said in a flirty voice.

"They should," I answered as my lips met hers.

I gently slid my hand over her hip, then upwards where my fingers spanned her waist. I felt her place her palms against my chest, the heat from her touch nearly burning off my undershirt. Reminding myself to keep my head, I only held her waist and her lips against mine. I kept my wits about me and restrained the kiss to a light, gently exploring one.

Pulling back, I cupped her head and tucked it under my chin. I gathered her close, simply holding her precious body. "Go to sleep, Bella."

She yawned and then gave a sleepy nod against my neck.

"You'll say yes," she mumbled.

"Yes, to what?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"To…me," she said as her voice drifted off into sleep.

"What makes you think that?" I whispered so low, I was sure she wouldn't have been able to hear me through her drowsiness.

"Because…I love you," she sighed and then was still, her body relaxing into her slumber.

However, I had gone rigid, unable to move, nor even catch my breath. _Because…I love you_.

How could it be so quiet? Surly thunder just rent the air. Surely the ground just moved. Surely all things in this world were now altered.

Bella loved me. Bella loved me. _Bella loved me_.

I felt tears spring to my eyes. Love. I'd been looking for love my entire life, and here, this small woman had just told me that she loved me. I'd done nothing to earn such depth of feeling. I'd done nothing to encourage her affections. I'd done nothing in my life to win me such a prize as her.

Feeling another shift inside of me of who I was to whom I would become, I gently held her neck as I placed a kiss atop her head. I then rested my chin there as I pondered the gods, fate, and even the human heart. Three words could irrevocably change a man. Those three words from Bella's lips had moved me forcefully into another type of man entirely.

If she felt that strongly about me, then she was going to attempt the binding. It's a wonder she hadn't proceeded to do so this eve. Tomorrow then, I guessed. Tonight she'd been feeling me out, trying to ascertain my feelings toward her. I'd gently rebuffed or ignored her subtle probing, but nothing would keep her from doing what she truly wished. I knew this woman by now and knew as sure as I breathed that she was going to attempt to bind herself to me.

The question was, what would be my answer to that?

_Fool_, I chided myself. _You already know the answer to that. _Though I wouldn't give in too easily. It wouldn't do for Bella to think she held all the power in this relationship, even though that was the truth. I was grinning to myself as I fell asleep holding Bella's warm, comforting body to me.

I slowly awoke with morning sunlight streaming through the cracks in between the boards of the walls. One beam fell across Bella's hair, bringing out gold and auburn highlights from her dark brown strands.

It took me a moment to realize that during the night my hand had traveled and was then cupping her breast. I sucked in a breath as I felt her nipple pressing against my palm. My cock was throbbing as Bella shifted her knee, pressing her hip against mine. Unable to help myself, I curved my fingers around the glove of her breast and gently rolled her firm nipple between my fingertips.

A soft gasp told me she had awoken.

"Edward?"

My mouth took hers. I didn't care what her or my breath was. It was Bella I was kissing. That was all that mattered.

Bella was then on her back, my hand under her chemise, trembling as I massaged her breast. Things may have gone way past a stopping point if not for the loud neigh of Moonspawn. He'd been well trained, and that was his warning sound. I whipped my head about, then leapt to standing.

"What?" Bella asked in confusion.

"I don't know, but I'm going to check."

I cast one last regretful glance at Bella, lying there all mussed and her breast peeking out. Near to the point of cursing, I looked away as I grabbed my hauberk and yanked it down over my head. My boots I tugged on in haste as I belted my sword on.

"Get dressed and stay here. You understand me? _Stay here_."

"Yes," she replied as she stood and reached for her dress.

Cursing my loss of focus, my eyes darted around the area in front of the lodge that I could see through the cracks in the walls. Seeing nothing untoward, I moved the large log blocking the door.

"Stay here. Stay safe," I reiterated as I closed the door behind me.

I crept around the corner of the lodge to the right. Spying the stable and the nervous horses, I scanned the area, listened hard, but heard nothing. After a careful inspection around the lodge and stable and the nearby trees, I returned to the lodge with a frown.

"We need to ride. Something feels…off."

Bella nodded and handed me a dried up and falling apart oat cake. "That's the last of them. They've become a chore to eat, but still, it's edible. We'll need to resupply our food stores soon. Or are we close enough to our destination that it's not a concern?"

I sighed as I eyed that unappetizing morning meal. "It's still some way yet. You're correct. We could use some food. We're getting close to a friend's house. Hopefully they'll be home and willing to share their hospitality along with some food."

"A good friend?"

"More a close acquaintance," I said. "I'll go ready the horses."

"Edward!"

I turned back to her. "Yes?"

She strode over to me and gripped my face, placing a soft kiss upon my lips. "Good morn," she said with a smile like sunshine.

With acceptance comes peace, I realized.

I traced my fingertips over her cheek and into her hair. I then leaned down and brushed my lips across her brow. "Good morn to you."

"It is now," she replied, her voice gentle and filled with happiness.

I felt almost shy in that moment, which was ridiculous. I was Edward of Sunhaven, _the Slayer_.

Well…I had been. What I was becoming, I was unsure of. The only thing I _was _sure of in this world was that there was no other woman but Bella. It was enough. It was more than enough.

"We need to ride," I reiterated.

"I'll get our saddleba-"

Her word ended in a gasp as an arrow embedded itself into the partially open door.

I grabbed her and fell to the floor, my body covering hers.

"I know you're in there! Come out, you vagrants!" a male voice called out.

I met Bella's frightened eyes and cursed at my foolish inattention. I placed my fingers against her lips. "Do not speak to them. I'm going to try to talk us out of this."

"And if that fails?" she asked, her voice trembling in fear.

"Then, they'll meet the Slayer who's protecting his woman. I'm certain that that is not something they'll enjoy." I paused. "But…I will," I said with an easy smile to try to soothe her fears.

Bella's eyes widened, but she did relax a bit.

"Be safe," she whispered as she laid her hand against my cheek.

"You as well. Stay here. Stay safe."

I quickly leapt up. I placed a fingertip against my lips again to remind her to stay silent.

Walking to the door, I tugged on my gloves, tucked my dagger in my belt, and adjusted my sword. Pulling up the demeanor and arrogance of the Slayer, I nodded to myself, prepared for what was to come.

* * *

**Next chapter…oh, next chapter…I'm mean. I know. Lol Sorry for leaving it there. I'll try to update as soon as possible. Thanks for reading and for all my reviews. You all are such sweethearts and make me a very happy writer.**

**Many, many thanks to whoever has recommended my fics over at The Lemonade Stand. What an honor!**

**And so many 'thank you's' to the ladies at Ms. Swan's Bookstore! The write-up's and banners have been quite lovely.**

**All my appreciation to both those sites for sending many new readers my way! *mwah***

**Much love,**

**Sunny**


	11. Chapter 11

**Love my beta, GeekChic12, and my pre-reader, Lynzlee. Sweet ladies and a huge help to this writer. Endless thanks and much love to you both!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own the contents of this story.**

**A little warning of some violence in this chapter. **

* * *

**White Shadows**

**Chapter 11**

I leaned against the door frame and crossed my right boot over my left. I casually inspected my nails as I ignored the party of men in front of me.

"Just who are you, and what are you doing on my land?"

I let out an exasperated sigh, then lifted my head. "Excuse me?"

"Are you deaf? I asked what you're doing on my land, in my hunting lodge." I looked the man over. He was slightly older than myself, slight of build, with dark blonde hair and a forgettable face. His eyes, though, were the eyes of a hunter, and his mouth suggested cruelty.

"I was traveling through. The place was uninhabited, so I made use of it for the night. No harm done."

"I'll decide that. Who are you?" The blonde-haired man, obviously the leader, asked.

"Does that matter? Who are _you_?" I asked, feigning indifference of his answer.

"I'm Lord James of Hillstone. And you're trespassing. I don't take well to trespassers."

Bad luck, that. I'd heard of Hillstone. A legendary hunter. A small man with a grudge against the world who took it out on those weaker than him.

I pondered whether I should reveal my name. He only rode with three men, two of some bulk and another smaller man with dark skin. I quickly appraised them and decided that I could take them, but…Bella was a few feet away from me. What if they decided to try to kidnap her for ransom? What if one or more got away and revealed our location? What if they overtook me, leaving Bella in Hillstone's hands?

I held out my hands in an expansive gesture. "Forgive me. Give me a moment, and then we'll be on our way."

Hillstone sat up straighter at that. "We?"

I glanced over to see Bella crouched beside the door, her bow in hand. I held out my hand for her. She eased her left hand off the bow and transferred it over from her right. Holding my eyes, she arose and took my hand. I tugged her to the doorway, keeping her close to my side.

"We. My wife and me."

I heard Bella's soft gasp, but I ignored it. My eyes were on Hillstone.

I saw his face register surprise, before it transformed into open male appreciation, then to impassiveness. "My lady," he said with a nod to Bella.

Bella didn't respond, like I had instructed her.

Hillstone slid from his saddle. "Just you two?"

"Yes," I tersely replied.

"Well, then let us all break our fast together, before I see you on your way."A hand signal from Hillstone and the other men swung from their saddles, one taking the reins of Hillstone's horse. As he paced towards us, I briefly glanced down at Bella.

"He's not going to just let us ride away, is he?" she whispered.

"No," I whispered back. "Just stay silent and beside me."

"Well, I guess I need to start off right in trying to be an obedient _wife_," she whispered with a hint of sass.

I nearly grinned. "If only," I responded quickly as Hillstone reached us.

"Your name?" he asked without preamble.

"Fayhurst," I gave him.

"Ah. A southerner. I thought so from your speech. Lady Fayhurst," he said to Bella with a slight bow.

She merely inclined her head.

"Odd travel for a lord's son and his lady wife. Where is your squire, her maid?" Hillstone asked.

"We were recently wed and thought we'd like a short trip just our small group, but, alas, things happen. People fall ill, cart wheels break…I decided that we'd ride on ahead. We're to join back up with them soon."

Hillstone glanced to Bella, then back at me. "I can understand the desire for time with just you and your lady," he said, his tone light and laced with amusement. I didn't buy it. I'd seen the lust in his eyes when he looked upon Bella. He was simply biding his time until he could catch me off guard.

"Indeed," I replied easily.

Hillstone pulled up the only chair in the lodge and fell into it. "Perhaps you'd be so kind as to attend to our morn repast, Lady Fayhurst?"

"My wife is a lady. Of course she does not cook," I replied.

"Or indeed speak," Hillstone added in amusement. "Never mind. Laurent can prepare food for us. Indeed that's why I brought him along. He's from the Spice Isles, you know. Those people have a gift with cooking."

"Yes, I've heard that," I answered.

Hillstone held out his hands. "Please. Have a seat, my friends. Tell me what news, besides your nuptials, have you heard? Anything from court?"

I remained standing, holding onto Bella's hand. "I haven't been to court recently. I heard that there was a celebration at Ostburn, though."

Hillstone frowned. "Yes. It seems I wasn't invited." His eyes fell upon Bella, then narrowed. "You look familiar. Have we met before, my lady?"

"I doubt that. She's from far to the north," I replied.

"She still does not speak? Is she incapable, or are you trying to hide something, Fayhurst?" Hillstone asked with raised brows.

"I think that women should keep their place. Be seen, but not heard," I said, and felt Bella reach behind me and pinch me hard. I had to bite back my grin.

"Ah. I am of the same mind. Troublesome creatures, women. Only good for one thing. Wouldn't bother with them at all if not for my needs."

"Yes, well, my father has been pressuring me to wed and produce heirs," I added.

"I see. My mother is on about that as well," Hillstone said, sounding annoyed.

"We really need to be on our way."

Hillstone's eyes narrowed. "What's your hurry?"

"We would like to meet back up with our group. We thank you for the use of your lodge and stables," I said and, tugging Bella along in my wake, headed to the door.

"Have a seat, Sunhaven," Hillstone said, his voice like cold steel.

I slowly turned.

"You think I wouldn't recognize you? I'm no fool. You're Edward of Sunhaven. What a prize I have in my hands." His eyes slid to Bella. "And you, my lady. You have the look of Ostburn about you. I'm assuming you're one of his daughters. My, my. What a fine gift on this morn. Not just one, but _two _powerful lords' offspring landing right into my hands."

I felt Bella's eyes upon me but didn't look at her. "Let us leave, Hillstone, and I'll allow you to live."

He laughed. "Last I counted, there were four of us and two of you, one of which is a small woman. I'm hardly quaking in fear."

"You should be," I added, my voice soft and deadly.

He cocked his head. "And why is that?"

"Because you've just made a fatal mistake," I said to him as if he was stupid.

"Mistake?" he asked.

"You laughed at me. The last man who did that ended up with my sword through his chest."

Hillstone slowly stood up. "You dare challenge me in my own house? I'll make you wish you'd never been born, Sunhaven."

"I'd like to see you try, Hillstone," I retorted.

"Ah. This morn continues to improve. Let us step outside and settle this like not-so-civilized men," he said with a grin of anticipation.

I slightly turned my head toward Bella. "Remember your training. Do not allow yourself to be taken," I hastily whispered.

I followed Hillstone out of the lodge as I pulled my sword from its scabbard. "Let's see if you're actually made of lumpy hills and heavy, sluggish stones, Lord James," I taunted him.

"Fool. I'm going to kill you, then take your woman," he hissed back at me as we circled each other.

"You'll do no such thing," I replied.

He seemed the rash type, so I waited for him to make the first move, and he did not disappoint. As our swords met, I quickly ascertained that he was not near the swordsman I was, but he was stronger than he appeared. We parried left, then right; then he made a jab for my stomach, but I quickly stepped back. I stabbed his shoulder, only enough to draw blood, but he howled in anger. Then he went a bit crazy, making wild swings and hasty moves.

I glanced to Bella in the doorway, her bow nocked in front of her, keeping the others at bay. Sensing my brief inattention, Hillstone went for my thigh, but I side-stepped his thrust and met him with one of my own to his right forearm. He screamed and dropped his sword.

"I'm going to kill you with my bare hands!" he yelled as he charged toward me. I merely waited until he was close enough and then clubbed him on the head with the pommel of my sword. He went down in a senseless heap. I thought about ending his life, but decided against it. Better I leave him tied up and helpless, feeling the fool when he awoke.

"Next?" I called out.

I was charged by two of the others at once, but one stopped and looked down in shock at the arrow then protruding from his left thigh. He fell to the ground, howling in pain. _Well done, Bella_. That only left the biggest one.

He turned out to be a much tougher foe. He didn't fight with much skill, but his brute force made up for his lack of finesse. It took some work to finally best him, but a jab to his mid-section and then a club to the head took him down. He went to stir, and I clubbed him again for good measure. I did the same with the one with the arrow in his thigh to cease his whining.

That only left the cook, Laurent. I spun around and found him standing behind Bella, a knife at her throat.

_Fool_. I cursed myself for discounting the greater threat.

"Put down your sword, or she dies," he threatened.

I met Bella's terrified eyes. I tried to calm her with my look, but her face was white with terror. Carefully I laid my sword on the ground in front of me. "Let her go."

"Let this prize go? I think not. I do believe I have here Isabella of Ostburn. I know of someone who'd be glad to get back his betrothed." His smile made my skin crawl.

"Let her go," I repeated firmly.

"I think…not. Come, my lady. We ride," he said as he began to drag her backwards toward the horses, the knife still at her throat.

I remained still, my eyes locked on him, waiting for him to turn his attention for just a moment. Bella beat me to it. As he tried to lift her onto the back of the horse, she pulled out her dagger from her belt and stabbed him in the arm. I was running toward them, sword in hand as he punched her hard in the face in retaliation. Bella fell unconscious, landing hard upon the ground.

My vision turned red. I felt rage like I never had in my life. Everything in me was focused on the man that had just hurt Bella. He barely got to spin around before I was there in front of him, holding his shoulder as I shoved my sword all the way through his middle. His shocked eyes met mine as I pulled out my bloodied sword.

Realizing he was going to die, he began to beg. "Please. Let me live. I'm sorry. Let me live."

I twisted his tunic so tight he winced. I leaned my face down close to his. "_Do you know who I am_?"

"N-n-no," he stuttered.

My voice dripping with cold fury, I read him his death sentence. "I am Sunhaven. _The Slayer_. And you just threatened and hit _my woman_."

His eyes widened, and he swallowed hard. "_Telleor save me_," he whispered in terror.

"Too late for that, for _any_ man who harms Isabella is a dead man," I hissed as I thrusted my sword into his heart. One last gasp and the life left his body. I shoved him off my sword and he fell to the ground.

Ignoring his body, I fell to my knees beside Bella. The left side of her face was already swelling and turning purple. I clenched my fists in rage and wished that I could kill Laurent again, the fucking bastard.

I sat back and gently shifted Bella's upper body into my lap. My fingertips skimmed over her damaged skin. It didn't feel like any bones were broken underneath, thank the gods.

"Bella?" I called softly.

Her eyes fluttered open. "Edward?"

"Hi," I said with a relieved smile.

"Are we safe?" she asked, her eyes darting around me.

"We're safe. Are you in pain? Does anything hurt besides your face?"

She reached up and gently prodded her swelling left cheek. "No. I've never been hit before. It was painful. It's still painful. You killed him?"

"Yes. Any man who harms you, his life is forfeit."

Tears sprung to her eyes. "Oh, Edward."

"Are you in pain?" I asked in dismay.

"No. I'm in love."

I closed my eyes to try to keep myself from falling apart.

I felt Bella's finger stroke through my hair.

"_Bella_."

"I know," she said as she gently touched my face with her fingertips. "I know."

I averted my eyes, my emotions too overwhelming to deal with at the moment. "We need to get moving. I'm going to tie up the other three men."

"I need to use the privy; then I'll fetch our things."

I shook my head. "No. Allow me to take care of things. I'll lead you behind the stable so that you may relieve yourself. When you're finished, just sit and wait for me. After I take care of the men and ready Moonspawn, I'll fetch our things from the lodge, and then we're out of here."

"All right," she mumbled and dropped her head against my shoulder. "My face is throbbing, and I feel strange."

"Let me get some wet cloths to put against it to hopefully ease some of the swelling. Bella, I'm sorry."

"For?"

"For allowing that to happen. He could have killed you." My voice broke. Only now was I allowing myself to feel the horror of seeing Laurent with a knife at Bella's throat. I wasn't handling it well.

"Not your fault. He came in through the back window of the lodge. Snuck up on me. My fault."

"No. It's my fault. And I'm sorry. I'll take care of you now. You'll ride in front of me on Moonspawn, and I'll take care of you."

"Yes," was her only reply.

I helped her stand and then led her around the stable. Leaving her there, I quickly tied the three living men up tightly. I knew that they would pursue, but this was giving us a better lead. After I gathered our things, I through rifled their food stores. Pleased to see that Bella would have a decent meal soon, I grabbed bread, fruit, cheese, and dried meat, then refilled our water flasks. I even found a treat of oats for Moonspawn. I got several cloths wet and carried all that back to Bella.

"Hold this to your face," I said as I handed her the cool cloths.

She did that without comment as I tied the saddlebags and water flasks to Moonspawn's saddle.

"You'll have to carry double, but she's small," I said to my horse as I looked him in the eye. "Be gentle. She's precious," I whispered. Moonspawn softly huffed and lifted his head as if in agreement.

I gently lifted Bella into the saddle. I climbed up behind her, wrapping my arm around her waist. "Lean back against me. Sleep if you're able. I took their food stores, so later you'll have a meal."

I clicked my tongue, and Moonspawn began to pick his way through the trees and underbrush.

Bella settled against me. "A meal sounds lovely." She paused. "Edward, those men, they'll pursue us?"

"Perhaps." _Definitely_.

"I believe you just made yourself a deadly enemy," she responded.

"No doubt."

"Perhaps you should kill him."

I looked at her in surprise. "Is that what you wish?"

"No. I just don't like the thought of him hounding us."

"I thought to kill him, but humiliating him appealed to me more," I replied.

"The way he talks about women…gelding him sounds even more appealing," she said, traces of humor in her voice.

I chuckled. "You know I didn't mean those things I said earlier about women."

"I know. But…you still can play the overbearing male at times," she reminded me.

"Yes. I know. And when I'm an arse, it's your job to correct me."

"With pleasure," she said, her voice light.

I sighed in relief. I'd gotten Bella back into a relaxed mood and drew her mind away from her pain. I considered that a success.

"We have to ride far this day. I'm sorry for that. It'll be hard on you."

"No matter," she replied. "My horse?"

"We'll have to leave him," I said regretfully. "There's no way he could keep up with Moonspawn in full gallop, even tied to his saddle."

"Oh. Will they hurt him?"

"The horse? I doubt that. Horses are an asset. You don't just randomly kill them."

"True. You did say there was food?"

I grinned. "I did." I reached behind me and stuck my hand down into the saddle bag, pulling out a small loaf of bread. "What say you to splitting this feast?"

"I say yes," she said happily. She took the bread and bit into it with a groan of pleasure. She needed to stop that, or this was going to be one long damned day again.

She offered it to me, and I took a healthy bite, chewing in bliss at the taste of fresh baked bread.

One last glance back at the lodge and the trouble we'd left there, I turned Moonspawn to the west and dug my spurs in. Sharing our morning repast, Bella and I headed into the bright late-morning sun.

That evening we made camp in a wooded area beside a small lake. Bella had exclaimed in delight at seeing it. _The woman had almost an obsession with water and cleanliness_, I thought in amusement.

As I took care of my horse, Bella hurried over the water. She got down on her knees and inspected her visage. "I'm so ugly!"she exclaimed in dismay.

I came over to beside her and gazed at her reflection upon the water. "That's not possible."

She turned to me and pointed to her face. "You can't possibly find this pleasing to look upon."

"No, because it makes me angry and want to hurt someone. But you, I find endlessly pleasing to look upon, Bella," I replied with a hint of a smirk.

"More compliments?" she asked with a wry grin.

"Truth," I gave back to her.

She blinked and then looked down at her hands.

"Nothing to say to that?" I asked. "Now it's you keeping your words?"

She tried but failed to hide her laugh. "I like this change. You teasing me, you chiding me."

"I confess that I enjoy it as well. Not near as much as kissing you, though."

"Is there anything as good as that?" she asked.

_I could think of one thing_. I didn't reply to that question, though.

"Ah." She looked almost calculating. "I believe we started something this morn that was rudely interrupted."

"Bella. The line."

"We've already crossed it."

Suddenly nervous, I looked at anything but her. "Your, uh, lady monthlies…" I drifted off in horror of mentioning something so private.

"That was over last week."

"Ah." I scratched my chin, annoyed at the amount of hair there. "I need to shave."

"I like the beard," Bella said.

I looked at her in surprise. "You do?"

"I do. But shave if you wish."

I shrugged. "It can stay."

"I'm going to bathe and wash our other set of clothes. Perhaps you could start us a fire to dry them by?"

I stared at her. _Bathe. Bella was going to bathe. Right here. Right now_.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Where is your mind? I asked if you would start us a large fire," she said with a little laugh.

_My mind is on you naked and wet_. I sucked in a breath and turned away. "I'll, uh, go start the fire."

She giggled. "That's what I said!" she called back to me as I hastily walked away.

We were in a heavily wooded area, so finding kindling wasn't a problem, but the woman by the water was. Did she mean for me to watch? I was finding it near impossible not to. _Pick up a branch, duck behind a tree, glance toward the water._ She was still washing clothing. _Pick up more wood, duck behind a tree._ Ah, God's be! She was getting undressed.

I slipped back behind the tree trunk and unashamedly watched her. She sat down and untied her boots, tossing them aside. She then tugged her dress up and casually rolled down her hose. She sat there for a moment, resting on her elbows, her knees bent, and her toes in the grass. I just stared at her long, pale legs.

She unhooked her belt, letting it drop. Slowly, almost seductively, she stood up. Then she began to loosen the strings holding together her bodice. Her dress loosened, she slid it down her arms, then pushed it over her hips and let it drop. She stepped out of it and began to untie her chemise.

At this point, I had stepped out from behind the tree and was blatantly observing her. She didn't look my way, but she knew I was close…and watching.

She untied the chemise at her wrists and throat; then, oh God's be, then…she reached down, and in one swift motion, pulled it over her head.

I dropped the kindling I was holding and gaped in astonishment.

I had been positive that she would be a wonder to behold unclothed, but this…I had no idea she would be that beautiful, that breathtaking.

My eyes devoured her firm, round breasts, her nipples deep pink and puckering in the breeze. I hungrily gazed down her stomach to her flaring hips and then the dark hair covering her womanhood. She was so beautiful that I nearly wept.

As if in a trance, I watched her tug her long braid over her shoulder and unbind her hair. That dark mass then fell over her shoulders like a silken cape.

Suddenly, she turned to exactly where I was standing and met my eyes. She sent me a slow, knowing little grin and then turned and paced into the water.

Drawn to her like the water goddess she was, I reached the edge of the lake and stood there, unabashedly enjoying the view.

"Well. Are you going to join me or not? I don't know how many other ways I can tempt you to me. Unless…you don't enjoy my naked body," she said softly, sounding unsure of her charms.

"You cannot be serious." I nearly laughed. "God's be. You're a beautiful woman and I'm not blind."

"Well, then. Remove that clothing, and allow me to study you as you did me."

"I'm not beautiful like you," I said and looked down.

"I'll decide that. Edward. I'm waiting."

I'd never been in a situation like this before. Women had always wanted me for my face or my fame or prowess, but this woman, she cared for me. She wanted me for me, and I realized that was a bit frightening and a whole lot humbling.

Confused again as to why Bella would love me, I only hoped I could give her enough of myself to make her happy. I didn't know if I'd ever be able to give her all she deserved, nor even if I had the capacity to do so.

Feeling almost melancholy in this moment, I began to undress. I did it hastily and never once looked at her. Once naked, I strode into the water to her side.

"Edward."

I slowly turned my head.

"Are you angry at me?"

"No. Never."

"Then you don't wish for this."

"To bed you? To make-love to you? I wish for that more that my next breath," I replied.

"Ah. So, it's something else."

"Bella. Can't some things just be? Do you really need to know every thought of mine?" I asked, slightly annoyed that she couldn't even give me peace in this moment. Always the how and why with her.

"Don't. Don't do that."

I frowned. "What?"

"Close yourself off from me." She turned and pressed her body against mine. "You want this. You want me. You do care for me, but perhaps you don't love me. I understand, and I'm all right with that."

I looked away. She gripped my face and turned it back to hers. "Edward. I'm not asking for more than you can give. I'm asking for what you're able to give. Do you understand?"

I felt pain like I never had in my life. "Yes," I wrenched out. "But why?"

"Because I love you. And you allow me to do so. It's enough."

Unable to bear the tears in her eyes and in her voice, I swept her up in my arms and placed my lips to hers. I kissed and kissed her, nearly devouring her, trying desperately to give her more than just enough. Need like I'd never known overtook me and I picked her up, and carried her to the grass.

My hands flew over her body, my mouth following. I was almost in a frenzy to show her how I felt, even if I couldn't say the words. She was always giving to me, but this time, I was trying to give back. Give her everything she desired.

I should have kept my head and thought more about what I was doing. I should have remembered that Bella was a maiden and me a well-endowed man. I should have reined in my desire and focused more on her needs than my own. Too late. For when I gripped her hip and thrusted inside of her, she cried out in pain.

That cry ripped across my foggy brain, shocking me into clarity.

"Edward, that hurts!"

I had one moment of horror, of staring into her eyes and seeing her disappointment and pain; then I was off of her. I sat down beside her, mortified and shaking with anger at myself.

She sat up with a wince and grabbed her chemise, wrapping it round her shoulders.

"God's be, Bella. _I'm so sorry_."

"It's all right. I just wasn't prepared for the pain. You may finish, if you wish."

I turned my head and gaped at her. "_Finish_? You think I'd touch you again after hurting you like that? Trust me, I'm finished here."

I stood up and angrily tugged my clothes and boots on. "I'll go make that fire now."

I kept an eye on her, for her safety, as she got dressed and carried the wet clothes to the fire. I got more wood, and we made props of sorts to dry the clothes. We ate, she brushed and braided her hair, and then she laid down upon her pallet. All that had been done in silence.

I watched her lying there, eyes closed but not sleeping.

"Bella. I really am sorry."

Her eyes popped open and she looked annoyed, angry even. "For all that is holy, will you stop apologizing to me?"

"I keep messing up. I feel the need."

"So?"

"So? You mean you aren't angry with me?" I asked in astonishment.

"No, but I'm getting there. Come hold me. I miss you."

"I need to stay up and watch over you."

"No. You need to hold me," she corrected me.

Giving in, I took a deep breath, and got up and walked around the fire to the pallet. I looked down at her for a moment, then stretched out beside her, gathering her into my arms.

"Better?"

"Yes," she sighed.

I tucked her head under my chin as I gazed up at the stars twinkling through the tree branches.

"You are beautiful, you know."

"If you say so, Bella."

"I say so," she responded through a yawn.

Soon I heard her even breathing and carefully untangled my arms from around her. I sat down by the fire, staring into the flames, and wished for the thousandth time that I was another type of man entirely. Wished that I was good enough for Bella and was able to give of myself willingly to her.

I watched. And wished. And waited for the sleep that would not come.

* * *

**Thanks for reading, and sorry about the cliffy I left you at last week!**

**Some notes: **

**My story **_**To Be in Her Light**_** is up for fic of the week over at The Lemonade Stand, if you'd like to stop by TLS and support me, I'd appreciate it.**

**Due to all the fic pulling going on around this place, I also set up a profile over at FictionPad. My stories will remain here as well, hopefully. The link to my FP profile, my FB page, and my twitter are all on my FFN profile. You're welcome to follow me at any of those places. My name, sunflowersongs, is the same everywhere but on twitter.  
**

**Hopefully I'll have you another update next week. Until then.**

**Much love,**

**Sunny**


	12. Chapter 12

**These two ladies, GeekChic12 and Lynzlee, are awesome. I really can't praise them enough. My gratitude for your help with this chapter, dears! **

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own the contents of this story.**

**As to the previous chapter, wow the reviews. I wasn't expecting the backlash I received. It stung a little, not going to lie, since you can't really separate me from my characters. Look at Edward's past, his nature, his personality…he's not exactly relationship/husband material yet. But trust in Bella, and me, to hopefully get him there. But Edward, he may (will) mess up here and there until he gets it right. **

**This chapter from Bella's POV should make everyone happy. A bit of an emotional roller-coaster, but I think you'll enjoy the payoff. **

* * *

**White Shadows**

**Chapter 12**

My sleep had been restless. As a result, I had found myself wide awake at dawn and quite alone. I lay there listening to the early morning birdsong and envied them their simple lives. Oh, to be free like the birds! Free of deep emotions. Free of the knowledge of your own existence. Free from the pain of loving another who didn't understand how to love you back.

My mind drifted back to my childhood and my ninth natal year. I had been a rambunctious and curious child. I'd started to dress in boys' clothing, for I'd decided to be the son my father desperately wanted. I had hovered around the listing grounds, avidly watching the sword fighting and archery contests. I'd fallen in love with archery and had begged my father for a bow of my own.

To my extreme surprise and joy, I was gifted with a child-sized bow and a quiver full of arrows for my tenth natal day. I remembered how I had reverently run my hand along the smooth wooden curve of the bow. For a moment, I'd been positive I'd seen approval shine in my father's eyes, before he harshly told me not to shoot myself in my foot.

I hadn't allowed that comment to take my joy. I had run out to the listing yard and eagerly set up a target. Gathering a crowd, I'd been nervous, and my first arrows either fell to the ground or didn't travel far. Many of the guard and castle archers had come to watch. Soon, they'd begun to offer pointers and demonstrate to me the correct hold and posture. With that knowledge, and the patience of an older archer nicknamed "Gramps" for his grey hair, I improved. I practiced the rest of the day until twilight fell, until my fingers became bloody, until my right arm ached so hard it had begun to shake, but I had not cared. I had felt freeing joy like I'd never known when I was practicing archery.

That had been the first major alteration of my childhood.

My first glimpse of Edward of Sunhaven had been the second.

Two months later, Edward of Sunhaven had arrived at Ostburn. I'd been in the solar with my mother and Alice and the attending ladies' maids when I heard the commotion. I ran to the window seat, bruising my knees in my haste to climb upon the stones. Peering out, I'd seen Edward of Sunhaven ride into the bailey- his rust and gold house colors blazing, his enormous horse braying and stomping. My mouth had fallen open in awe.

Then he'd removed his helm. Sun had glinted off his hair, the color somewhere between peaches and strawberries. Even from the long distance I'd been able to discern the handsomeness of his face. I had leapt down and darted out the door, ignoring the exasperated commands of my mother to stop. I hadn't been able to stop. I'd had to see that wonder up close.

I raced out into the bailey and skidded to a halt, not ten feet from his terrifying horse. Edward of Sunhaven had swung from the saddle and tossed the reins to his squire. He was talking and laughing with some men who had accompanied him. My eyes had been riveted to his handsome face, animated with easy laughter.

My father had come out to greet him, drawing his attention, but for one brief glorious moment, Edward of Sunhaven had met my eyes. He flashed me a grin and winked at me before turning to greet my father.

Something in my girlish heart and mind had been struck dumb by such a remarkable specimen of a man. Hence, my obsession with Edward of Sunhaven had begun.

For the fortnight that Edward had visited Ostburn, I'd trailed him, shadowing his steps, asking him questions, and watching him train with the guard. The castle guard, well used to my oddness and holding a certain affection towards my boyish ways, had teased Edward over my attention. They even granted me a nickname. "_There comes Edward's little white shadow_," they'd say about me. So named for the white tunic emblazoned with the Ostburn eagle upon it that I wore most every day.

I smiled to myself and my sudden remembrance of my childhood nickname. No one had called me that in years, not since the old archer Gramps had died, I realized.

What I didn't want to remember was the day Edward of Sunhaven had departed Ostburn. I'd been bereft. It'd felt as if he'd taken the very sun away with him. It had been at least a natal year before I'd begun to give up my foolish adoration of a man who had only seen me as the child I'd been.

When I was fifteen, my father took me and my sister to court. I'd been in an absolute fever to see Edward of Sunhaven again. Once at court, I had dressed in my finest and fixed my hair just so, in the elaborate braided upswept style that was the current fashion. I remembered walking into the king's chamber so that Alice and I could be presented to him. I had been nervous, but not to see the king. It was all for Sunhaven. To my extreme, crushing disappointment, he hadn't been at court. King Alfred had sent Edward off to escort the king's mother back to court. That had sent Edward all the way to the southern tip of Oaklea. He wouldn't be back for at least two months. By then, we would be headed back home.

Despite court and all its splendor, I had been downcast the entire visit. I would climb to the top of the tower with my ladies' maid and watch out for any approaching band of soldiers, but Edward's group was never among them. We'd left Stronghaven without my ever having set eyes upon Edward. It wasn't until over a fortnight ago that I'd seen him again. That first glance when I'd looked up and found his eyes upon me. My heart had exploded with excitement and joy.

He'd crushed that joy the next day by being an absolute arse. Childhood remembrances and silly girlish dreams had built up an image of a man who hadn't existed. The reality of the real flesh-and-blood Edward had been jolting and unpleasant.

But things change. I had come to know the real Edward of Sunhaven, though it had taken me some time to really see his true self and begin to understand his nature. Then, he'd kissed me. Nothing after that point could have stopped my foolish heart from falling headlong into real love with him.

I heard Edward moving around and then smelt wood smoke. Apparently, Edward had been rebuilding the fire as I reminisced.

"Are you awake?" Edward called to me. "I brewed some tea."

Taking a deep breath, I sat up and brushed tendrils of hair back from my face.

"I suppose," was my quiet reply.

I studied Edward as he piddled with the sticks in the fire, not meeting my eyes. His hair was darker now, more burnished fire than peachy strawberry, than it was ten years ago. His body had changed as well, filling out to that of a man's solid, pleasing form. His face was still impossibly handsome, but there were subtle lines around his eyes and one on the left side of his mouth. Still, all in all, he was the finest specimen of a man I had ever laid eyes upon.

I thought back to my childish adoration of Edward and how silly it seemed to me now. I had come to know the man inside, what he held and what he was lacking, and loved him in spite of it. It had surprised me, that, the way my heart had decided for me. For what woman would willingly choose such a difficult man to love?

His inability to voice his feelings, unless prodded to do so, was one such difficulty, but the other, oh, the other was the truly difficult one to endure. The man didn't understand reciprocation. He didn't understand how to accept affection and give it in return. He had been trying, I'd give him that much, but he was lacking in basic human understanding of such things. I thought I had begun to soften him. I thought I'd gotten him past his withholding. Until, that is, last eve.

All that could have gone wrong, did. Instead of tenderness and gentleness, he had instead been frantic and rough, taking for himself. I had enjoyed the kissing, but after that, he'd become something else and had used my body for his pleasure. I was still stunned that he'd so forcefully entered me, causing me so much pain. I'd been unprepared for such harsh treatment of my body.

Everything I'd come to love about Edward had nearly been shattered in that one thoughtless moment of his. And he had known it. When he'd looked into my eyes and registered my pain and disappointment in him, he'd known.

He had withdrawn from me, curled back up inside of himself, loathing himself for what he'd so foolishly done. He had not held me and comforted me. That, not the rough handling, was what he'd done to ruin the closeness that had been growing between us.

His constant apologies aside, he had known that he'd done something unforgivable. Not only had he taken me as if I was one of his other women, he'd not even remembered that we weren't a wed couple.

It was then that I understood that, to him, I was likely just another woman. He may care for me, but in the end, I was just another body for his use.

We had crossed a moral and social line, and as a result, I was no longer a maiden. Nor was I a wedded woman. That could be easily altered, but at this point, I was unsure if I even wanted this man as my husband.

Oh, I knew that he would protect me unto his death. I knew that he would take care of me, provide for me, and even occasionally give me the fleeting tenderness I longed for. But truly love me? Truly see me for me and not just another woman in his bed? I didn't know if that was ever going to be possible.

And with that realization, my heart just broke.

Tears gathering in my eyes, I tossed back my blanket, tugged on my boots, and climbed standing. "I need to use the privy."

"I'll-"

"No," I said as I quickly walked away.

When I returned, Edward was crouched down, checking on Moonspawn's hooves. "I believe the clothing is dry," he said almost cautiously, darting his eyes to my face, then back to his horse.

I simply nodded and went to check on our clothes. Noting that they were indeed dry, I repacked them in the saddle bag and then got a cup of tea. I rummaged through the food and pulled out two bruised pears. Carrying one over to Edward, I handed it to him.

"I'm not hungry."

I nearly shoved it at him. "Eat. We've another long day, I'm guessing."

He took it without comment and turned away.

I went back to the fire, pulled off my boots and tugged on my leggings for the day's ride. I sat down, placed my feet back into my boots and then sipped my tea as I nibbled on my pear.

Had Edward just slept with me last night, held me and given me comfort, I would probably be feeling completely different this morn. But…he hadn't. And I realized that had put me into not only a pensive mood, but a foul one. I wished I still had my own horse so that I would have some peace today. But the entire day I would be against Edward's thighs and chest, his arms around me holding the reins, and that was likely to be akin to torment.

"Let's ride," Edward said without preamble.

I looked up in surprise. I hadn't even heard him approach. I quickly sipped the dregs of my tea in the cup and then turned it over and dried it out on my skirt. The rest of the tea in the pot, I poured over the fire. Edward fetched more water and thoroughly doused the ashes. He then tied on the saddlebags and lifted me atop his horse, before climbing up behind me.

He spurred Moonspawn on. I tried to settle myself more comfortably, but the saddle hadn't been made for two. Finally finding something not completely unbearable, I leaned against the man I loved, the man right next to me but unreachable as the moon.

After a few brief pauses during the day, Edward, finding a suitable mostly hidden spot to camp, stopped for the night. I slid off the saddle in relief. I was so sick of horseback riding that I'd gladly walk the remaining miles to our destination. I paced around in circles, stretching my legs, and alternating between holding my back and rubbing my sore thighs.

"I'll make you a fire," Edward offered, but I shrugged.

"Doesn't matter. All our food is cold. I think I'll just eat and then sleep."

He sent me a look full of concern. "Are you feeling unwell?"

"Just saddle sore," I lightly replied, then turned to find food.

Edward made us a fire anyway. As he did, I pulled out the last loaf of bread. I reached in for the cheese and cut off two small pieces. Adding to our repast was strips of dried meat- venison, I realized. I handed Edward's portions to him and settled down to consume my meal in silence.

Edward surprised me, though. "I was thinking back to when you were a child."

I lifted my head. "What do you mean?"

"That time I visited Ostburn, and you were a child. I remember your big eyes and you trailing me around." He sent me a small grin, but I didn't return it.

"It must have been quite annoying to you to have some brat upon your heels."

He was silent for a moment. "I hope I wasn't too much of an arse to you. What was it they used to call you?"

"White shadow."

"Ah. Yes. That I remember now. You liked to dress as a boy cloaked in Ostburn's white colors."

"White with the snow eagle sigil outlined in silver emblazoned upon my tunic," I replied offhandedly.

"Perhaps a better sigil than my house. A setting sun upon the horizon, one lone ship sailing into its rays."

I wondered at Edward's chattiness this eve but decided it was better than silence. We could keep each other company, if nothing else.

"I like it. There's a certain beauty to your house sigil."

He acknowledged that with a slight tilt of his head. He then averted his eyes as his fingers worried with the edge of his tunic. I wondered at him not wearing his house colors now, but I assumed he had wanted to travel incognito the best he could and did not inquire as to his reasons.

"You remember the night you sang that song with Jasper and your sister?"

"The one about Silverwind? Yes. Why?" I asked.

"Bella, do you believe in dragons like the one in that tale?"

"Dragons?" I asked with a blink. What an odd question. "I'm…not sure. I know there are things, powers in this world we can't imagine, but dragons? I just don't know."

"I do."

I had been stirring the fire with a stick but paused at that and met his eyes. "What?"

"I know dragons exist."

I sat back and folded my hands in my lap. "And how, pray tell, do you know that?"

"I've seen them."

I was gaping at him then.

He slightly grinned, then his face set in wonder.

"I've _seen them_, Bella. When Alfred had told me that they were real, I hadn't believed him. In response, he led me to a secret chamber within the castle. Procuring the key, he'd opened the door and I had stood there, mute in astonishment. For in front of me had been the carcass of a creature so large, so fantastic, I couldn't speak. I remember walking as if in a trance to stand in front of that creature laying out on the floor. I had knelt down and run my hands along the iridescent violet, still glistening scales so sharp they cut my fingers."

"But, was it real?" I asked in skepticism.

"Yes. I swear so. I had thought like you at the time. That just because I had been looking at a fantastic creature that once lived, it didn't mean dragons were still in this world."

I was trying to take in what he'd just told me. Dragons were real. Dragons had existed. They weren't just legends and songs. Silverwind wasn't just a song? I glanced up at the night sky and pondered such a creature flying beneath the stars.

"Why do I think you're about to tell me something impossible?" I asked as I looked back to him.

"Because I am. A month later, I rode out with King Alfred and his entourage to his seasonal hunting lodge. While residing there, one night he'd awoken me, sworn me to silence, and then led me down into deep, cavernous underground chambers that I hadn't even known existed. The first door he opened, I just couldn't believe my eyes. There before me had been a living, breathing _dragon_. He'd been chained, imprisoned within an enormous cell."

I merely stared for a moment. "What…what did he look like?" I whispered.

"He was a blazing crimson red, the likes of which I'd never seen. He was this enormous winged reptile, with large yellow eyes, long talons at the end of powerful legs, and completely covered in scales. To be honest, he was terrifying."

"_A dragon_," I said in wonder, charmed by Edward's story, despite myself.

"And not just one, but _two_. The king kept the other one in a chamber beside the crimson one. Alfred told me she was a female. The female had been a turquoise color, flowing into green. Like water. Beautiful to behold. Beautiful and deadly. She hissed and spit fire at us the moment the door opened and continued until we stepped back out of her chamber. I pitied those men in charge of feeding her. Still do."

"And what precisely does a dragon eat?"

"Anything it wants to," he said with a grin. "But mostly, they keep them well fed with goats and sheep."

"Ah. Those poor dragons. They must feel so frustrated and lonely."

Edward laughed.

"Bella. They're _dragons_. Capable of destroying entire cities, decimating entire populations. They will eat anything with a beating heart, including human children. Don't pity them. Fear them. Alfred is right to keep them chained up."

"But to what purpose? What kind of life is that? I would rather die than live a life in chains."

Edward went quiet, his face set in seriousness. "As would I."

I pondered his story. "Was that the truth, or just a tale to amuse me?"

"Did it amuse you?" he asked as he studied my face.

I nearly groaned at him doing the question as an answer thing, but I let it pass.

"It did manage to keep my attention, if that was your intention. Edward, if that was another form of apology, I accept, but really, you must stop."

Edward took a deep breath and looked up at the night sky. "I honestly don't know _what_ that was. I just wanted to share that with you."

"Well, then I thank you. That was kind," I replied.

"It wasn't meant to be _kind_, Bella," Edward nearly growled. "It was meant to…"

"What?" I asked, mildly curious to know what he'd been about to say.

"It was a secret I've kept, and I just gave it to you, because I know I can trust you," he responded in frustration. "And perhaps I wanted you to know, despite all, that there are indeed wondrous things in this world we live in."

"Ah. But then, I knew that," I said softly as I stretched out upon my pallet.

After a time, Edward again surprised me by stretching out beside me and wrapping his arm around my body.

"And how did you know that, Bella?" he asked.

I squeezed my eyes shut, holding back my tears.

"Because, one day when I was just a child, I looked upon the sun, and I've been blinded by its wonder ever since."

Edward gave me no response, but his arm around me tightened, pulling me back against him. I rested my head on my arm and did let the tears fall then. Let them spill out upon the indifferent ground my hopes and wishes until all that was left in me was hollowness and a thumping heart that would not let go of its love of Edward.

I may have been dreaming, but I could have sworn that sometime during the night, Edward had turned me over and kissed the tears from my cheeks. I could have sworn that that he whispered sweet words of devotion. Impossibly sweet dreams of love, of happiness, and of majestic dragons gliding on the wind of the starry night sky.

I felt fingers stroke across my face. "Time to awaken, my sleepy queen," I heard Edward say softly.

My eyes fluttered open to find Edward's green eyes regarding me with great warmth.

"Queen?" I asked in foggy confusion.

"Hmm. Yes," he said as he sat down beside me. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss upon my cheek. "Show me," he whispered.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes as I pushed myself sitting. I yawned and stretched out the kinks in my back. I was confused over his tenderness and soft speaking. It made my heart beat fast in hope, which in turn made me cross for hoping.

"Whatever are you talking about? Show you what?"

"Show me how to…treat you," he finished in barely a whisper, his head hanging down.

"How to treat me," I repeated.

"Yes. And perhaps, it's time we altered our situation." He still wouldn't look at me.

"Edward. Speak plainly. I just awoke."

He took a deep breath; then his gaze locked with mine. "Choose me."

"What?"

"Choose me. It's the woman's choice, so choose me."

"Choose you," I echoed in disbelief.

"I've…taken you. You're no longer a maiden, even though that must be the absolute worst bedding known in the history of humankind."

"It was unpleasant. I wonder why any woman would choose to do that when it's so uncomfortable," I replied with a deep frown.

"It's not _supposed_ to be uncomfortable. It's _supposed_ to feel good. I completely and utterly failed you, completely failed myself. I took you, a good, kind woman who isn't mine, and hurt you. I'm not sure I've ever done anything worse in my life. No, I know I've never done anything worse."

"Ah. We're back to your honor. That's what this is all about?"

He shook his head. "God's be, no. It's about me mistreating you. I certainly have no honor left after that horrible show at the lake."

"And so you wish for me to…what exactly?"

"I wish for you to choose me," he said rapidly as he averted his eyes.

"To preserve my honor."

"Well, yes," he answered.

"And what if I do not wish to choose you?"

He lifted shocked eyes to mine. "You do not?"

"I'm not sure."

"Because of my hurting you. I understand. And I cannot fault you your choice. I was never a good choice for you to begin with. I was never the man for you."

"You keep telling me that. What prompts you to do so?"

"Because it's truth. You, you're kind and gentle and good, Bella. You say you love me in spite of how I treat you. It confounds and confuses me. Though I'm sure your feelings have greatly altered since what transpired at the lake."

"You think me fickle? You think this a light flirtation of mine, then?"

He hesitated a moment before speaking. "I would never do you the dishonor of so lightly dismissing your feelings. I was just saying that I would not fault you in altering them."

"Good. Because I don't give my heart away lightly. Indeed I've never done so until now. We've established my feelings, but, Edward, what are your feelings toward me?"

He took a deep breath and then reached over for my hand. He lightly held it, stroking his fingers over mine.

"The truth?" he asked.

"Yes. Always the truth, whatever it may be," I forced myself to say.

"The truth." He sighed. "You deserve that. This won't be easy for me. Emotions never are, but perhaps you'll better understand me afterwards."

He looked down at our hands, then slipped his fingers between mine as he began to speak.

"There was a night, a warm summer night, when I walked into the great hall of a castle. A celebration was in progress. There, amongst the dancers, was the most beautiful woman I'd ever set eyes upon. Her with the long brown hair, her in a red velvet dress, her with silver bells jingling along her thigh. That small woman…I came to admire her- her spirit, her fight, her fire. I even admired how she never took no for an answer from me. She always pushed me until I gave her what she wanted. One night, I looked down upon her sleeping, the flickering firelight dancing over her precious form, and…I knew. She was everything I had been searching for my entire life. She was goodness, she was comfort, she was…my home. She was everything. Everything I would live and die for."

He looked up at my tear-streaked face. Distress passed over his expression at seeing my tears. He gripped both of my hands in his and leaned his face close to me.

"You ask me my feelings regarding you. I don't have a word for them, Bella. There_ is_ no word for them. Nothing in our language could possibly encompass my emotions toward you. If love will do, then that is it, but it's not enough. Never enough for you," he ended, his voice rough with raw emotion.

"_Edward_," I cried out as I flung my arms around him.

He held me tightly, almost painfully against him as he buried his face in my neck.

"_I'm so sorry, Bella_. Let's start over. I _swear_ I'll do better this time. Please give me another chance."

"Yes," I said through my tears. "You get a thousand chances, Edward."

"_Thank the gods_," I heard him whisper against my neck.

"I love you," I whispered back.

"_Bella_," was his only reply, but everything of Edward, all his love for me was within it, and it was enough.

Later, after we broke our fast, we started on our way. This day, I settled against Edward happily. Edward rode with one hand on the reins, the other around my waist holding me to him.

We spoke softly as we journeyed, of our families, our childhoods, of court, of the possibilities of the death of the king and his sickly heir in the future, and what that would mean for the kingdom.

"But who would be king?" I asked.

I felt Edward shrug. "I have no idea. Someone from a powerful family, I'm assuming. Whoever takes it first? I don't really care. I only wish to live a quiet life from now on. I'm done being who I was before."

"We'll have to leave Oaklea, I believe," I replied.

"We?" he asked in amusement. "I see you're already planning our future, but you do not ask," he reminded me.

"I know," I said with a laugh. "It's good to make you wait, I think."

"No. That is _not_ good," he replied. "The sooner you choose me, the sooner I can show you what enjoyable relations between a man and a woman can be."

"I never thought I'd hear the mighty Edward of Sunhaven, heir to the Amber Isle, the king's champion, the fearsome Slayer, practically begging a woman to choose him."

He laughed, a deep, rich sound that vibrated against my back. "You're not going to make this easy or simple for me, are you?"

"Well, not much fun in making it too easy. It seems I now have the upper hand. I plan to enjoy it."

Edward halted Moonspawn, then gripped my face, turning it to his for a deep kiss that left me breathless.

"Have your fun, my beautiful queen, but do not make me wait too long. I've much to atone for and much I wish to show you."

"I like being your queen. It makes me feel powerful," I replied with a grin as I gave him another quick kiss.

"You have been all along. It's a wonder you didn't figure it out sooner."

"Figure out what?" I asked in confusion.

"How powerful you are."

"Ah." Edward could disarm me with a few mere words.

He gave me one more thorough kiss that left me dizzy, then placed one simple kiss on my brow.

"Don't make me wait too long," he repeated with a grin as he urged Moonspawn on.

I snuggled my head under his chin, my smile wide, and my heart content.

"Not too long," I replied with a sigh.

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**Thanks for reading! I'm guessing that you're happier with Edward, and me, after this chapter? I'm really looking forward to the reviews for this one, because I loved writing it so much. **

**Much love,**

**Sunny**


	13. Chapter 13

**Some thanks and gratitude this week. First to my awesome beta, GeekChic12, and my equally awesome pre-reader, Lynzlee. Fantastic women, both of them. More thanks to V, my rock and dearest friend. To DollyReader for nominating my fic over at TLS, thank you so much! I'm a lucky, lucky girl to have such support! **

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own the contents of this story.**

**This may be one of the chapters you've been waiting for. ;)**

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**White Shadows**

**Chapter 13**

When we paused for our mid-day meal, I walked a few feet away, enough for some privacy so that I could piss without Bella having to see it. As I was tucking my cock back into my leggings, I spied a bunch of wildflowers out of the corner of my eye.

I paused to consider. _Would Bella like flowers_? _Did any woman, really_? The women at court all seemed to lust after jewels and money and fine linens. Bella was nothing like those women, though. I thanked the gods for that.

Bella was…I searched for the right word. Fearsome. Bella was fearsome, I decided. She knocked down all my defenses, breached all my walls, until she was at the very heart of me, leaving me exposed and vulnerable. How terrifying, and yet.

And yet...

I turned back to where she was talking to Moonspawn and rubbing his neck. My fiendish horse was eating up her attention like a babe in arms. Bella not only had a way with people, it seemed, but with animals as well. I found I was unsurprised by this.

I glanced back to the patch of flowers. Perhaps I could just bring her one to note her reaction. Perhaps this time I would hopefully do something right. I took my time picking the perfect flower, a fiery red, long-petaled one, its center made up of browns and ambers. Yes, this one for sure.

Taking a deep breath, I walked back to her with my hand behind my back.

"Ready to depart?" she asked.

"In a moment. I…found this for you," I said in a rush and practically shoved the flower at her.

Moonspawn tried to steal it, but I grabbed his reins and tugged his face away. She slowly reached out and took the flower from my hand. Her fingertip stroked a petal from the center all the way to the tapered end before she settled her gaze upon me.

"It's perfect. Thank you," she said quietly.

Enormously relieved that I'd finally done something right in regards to this woman, I nodded and began to speak ridiculous things. "I only brought you that one, for I thought it perfect, and it reminded me of you. There's more. I'll pick you an armful if you wish."

I nearly smacked my hand over my mouth. What foolishness just sprung from my lips? I'd sounded like one of those buffoons at court with their fawning and simpering.

A little smile played about her lips as her eyes lit up. "No, no. This one will do."

I felt awkward. I'd never, ever tried to woo a woman before and found myself befuddled and confused as to how to progress. Thank the gods Emmett wasn't here. He'd be rolling in mirth to see me brought so low as to be picking flowers for Bella.

Bella's soft brush of a kiss upon my cheek knocked me out of my thoughts.

"This was sweet, though Edward of Sunhaven does not seem to be the type to bring a woman flowers." I heard the gentle chiding in her voice and accepted it with grace.

"He's not," I replied gruffly. "But then he met you."

Something crossed her face before she dropped her eyes.

"Did I say something wrong?" I asked in dismay.

God's be. Would I _ever_ get anything right with her?

She lifted warm eyes to mine, causing me to blink in confusion. "Indeed not. You said something just right."

My chest swelled with relieved gladness. I realized we were grinning at each other. My mood light, I reached out and lightly took her arm.

"Come, my lady. Let's ride. I've need to keep you close."

"Edward," she said, her voice sounding strange.

"Yes?"

"You said something right again."

"Ah. Well," I mumbled and then hastily lifted her into the saddle.

Climbing up behind her, I clicked my tongue, and Moonspawn began to walk an ambling, measured gait, as I had instructed.

I slid my arm around her waist, and she settled into me with a sigh.

"This would be so much more comfortable without your chainmail."

"My chainmail could save my life and therefore yours," I reminded her.

"True. I miss my bow and quiver strapped across my back—"

"Perhaps you'd prefer to have your own horse back as well," I remarked, my words sounding cross to my own ears.

She lightly laughed. "You're too easy to prod into a foul mood. If you'd have let me finish, I was going to say that however, I prefer your big, solid form against me instead."

"Oh." Then I felt the arse. "Well, I certainly enjoy having you this close to me. You smell sweet," I responded, trying to make up for my earlier shortness.

She scoffed. "I do not smell sweet. I smell dreadful. To have a warm bath scented with dried flowers," she said wistfully. "And a soft bed with a down-stuffed pillow for my head."

"I will endeavor to provide you with those things in the not-so-distant future, my lady. And you smell good to me," I added.

"Then we're nearing our final destination?" she asked as she looked back at me over her shoulder.

"No. Not quite. But, we are close to the acquaintance I spoke of. We should reach there by tomorrow eve."

"Ah. Please tell me this acquaintance of yours lives in a snug, warm house."

I chuckled. "He does indeed."

"Then I have something to look forward to."

I didn't reply, and we rode for some time in silence.

"Tell me more about the dragons. Any detail you can recall."

"I told you most everything. Here. Take the reins for a moment." I transferred them to her hands and then reached for my small pouch tied to my belt. I quickly untied it and then stuck my finger down in it. Finding what I was searching for, I took it from the bag and retied it, letting it drop back against my thigh.

I reached around Bella and held it in front of her. "Perhaps this will suffice?"

She dropped the reins, which caused Moonspawn to halt. Her right hand reached up and she stroked what I held with the tip of her pointer finger.

"Tell me this is what I think it is."

I leaned my head down against hers as I slid my fingers over her own. "It is what you think it is. I took it from the dead dragon the king has at court. I slipped it into my pocket when Alfred wasn't looking," I said with a grin to myself.

"It's so beautiful," Bella said in wonder. She touched the edge of the dragon scale and gasped in surprise as it nicked her finger.

"Careful. It's sharp." I took her finger and kissed the drop of blood from its tip. I must be mad. Her blood tasted good to me. That was madness.

She turned her head to me. "Thank you for showing this to me. A wondrous surprise."

I gazed at her pretty face in open admiration. If I had been keeping tally, I'd say that I was having a supremely good run of not messing up this day.

"It's yours."

"I cannot," she replied with wide eyes.

"You can. It's yours," I insisted.

She faced forward, then tucked the dragon scale in the pouch around her neck. I felt her reach for my hand which she lifted to her lips, lightly placing a kiss upon my palm.

"You've given me finer gifts this journey than I've ever received. I thank you."

I scoffed. "A pebble and a flower and a scale off a dead dragon are hardly gifts worthy of such a fine lady."

She leaned her head back and gently kissed my cheek above my beard. "I wasn't talking about pebbles and flowers and dragon scales, Edward. Though those are truly wonderful gifts that I cherish."

"I haven't given you anything else. Not really," I replied as I flicked the reins to urge Moonspawn forward.

"After your words this morning, that is an untruth."

"Perhaps you just caught me at a weak moment," I said lightly, trying to move the subject away from my still raw emotions that I'd laid bare for her.

"Or perhaps I caught you being strong. Perhaps stronger than you've ever been," she replied quietly.

This woman. She observed everything about me. She knew me. And she knew precisely how to pierce my heart.

After some moments, I finally found the voice to reply to her. "Perhaps you see me too clearly."

"Perhaps I do. And perhaps that is why I love you."

"Bella." Her name was a near gasp of desperation from my lips. Every time she said such things to me, a shock went through my body, joy and fear combined in a powerful jolt to my system.

She rested against me as she pulled my arm around to her lap. After a time, she slid her fingers between mine.

"One day, perhaps you'll even open up to me about what has scarred you so. I believe it goes past your lack of a mother and your indifferent father. But even if you never share that with me, know that it's all right, for that's your past. I plan to be your future."

"God's be, woman," I rasped out.

"You were correct. You don't do emotional well," Bella replied in amusement.

I let out a surprised grunt. I heard Bella's laughing reply, and after that, we fell into a comfortable silence as we rode.

I never saw it coming, never knew how completely my life could change until that eve.

After we halted for the night and shared a cold meal next to a small fire I'd built, Bella suddenly arose and began to look around.

"Can't see," she said in aggravation and grabbed a burning stick from the fire as a torch to light her way.

"What exactly is it you're trying to see?" I asked in curiosity.

She merely darted her eyes to mine, then went back to her searching. I stood up and began to follow her around.

"Bella?"

She ignored me as she gathered up a handful of rocks. Rocks? What did she want rocks for? She carried those back to beside the fire and lined them up, five in a row. She then opened up her pouch and pulled out the dragon scale, laying it on the fourth rock. On the third rock, she laid a tiny tree that she'd pulled up by its roots. The second rock, she took our shared cup and poured water over it. The fifth rock, she placed a dead, curled up leaf. The first rock was left unadorned.

I crouched down beside her, tossing the burning stick back into the fire. "What is this you make here? An altar?"

She glanced at me, then withdrew from her pouch the pebble I'd given her. That, she placed in front of her impromptu altar.

She then settled back, resting on her boots and began to speak. "Pynter, god of the air, I call to you," she said as she tapped the first empty rock. The wind around us picked up, tossing my hair into my face. I looked around me. _Must be a storm brewing_.

"Bellyn, god of the water, I call to you," she said as she tapped the second rock. A soft, misty rain began to fall. The wind had not abated. I slowly looked up from the rocks to Bella, uneasiness settling within me.

"Amadayea, goddess of all living things, I call to you." As if on cue, several small animals darted around our camp site. A tiny lizard came upon the rock beside the little tree and rested there. By now, I was a little afraid. I'd never thought the gods real, but _this_? How to explain all this?

"Fyvyn, god of fire, warrior against the dark, I call upon you." The fire suddenly flared and the dragon scale on the fourth rock seemed to shimmer and undulate.

_God's be_. _What is this_? _What was happening_?

"Bella, whatever you're doing, stop!" I ordered her, unable to keep the hint of fear out of my voice.

She merely shook her head. "Too late. I can't stop now. This is what must be. And I absolutely insist that the gods bless our binding. I _will_ finish."

_The binding. She's blessing our binding? God's be. She's going to bind to me. This eve. Within moments even, perhaps_. My body began to tremble. I thought I would be prepared for such an event, welcome it even, but nervousness and fear were rising up within me.

Lastly, she tapped the fifth rock, picking up the leaf and crumbling it in her hand, the remains of which she sprinkled on the fire.

"I call upon Telleor, god of death, darkness, war, and the void, so powerful it takes four other gods to hold back your darkness. God of gods, attend us now! Call all the other gods together and cast your blessing upon us, Edward of Sunhaven and Isabella of Ostburn."

All went still and dead silence followed her request, as if everything around us, even the trees, were holding their breath.

Bella paused and looked around as if surprised at the sudden calm and eerie silence, then she slipped her pouch over her head and opened it. Into her palm, she emptied its contents.

I fell back. I gaped. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, the shock of it making me near insensate.

Snapping out of it, I gripped her hand, staring in disbelief at what she was holding. I ripped my pouch from around my neck and wrenched it open. Into my own palm fell the burnt pieces of parchment that I'd given Rosalie that day in the meadow.

I just stared down at my hand. How could that be? I'd watched that parchment burn! I'd seen it with my own eyes, but yet, here Bella and I held the pieces of it. My handwriting clear where I'd, in one absolute blinding moment of clarity, written Bella's name.

"Rosalie said I'd know the time. Well, the time is now in my opinion. I see by your face that you know what it is we hold."

I tried to speak but had to clear my throat to even get my voice to work. "In the meadow, when you were competing against Emmett and Jasper in archery, Rosalie told me to write down a word."

"A word?"

"She said it was the most important word ever, and that I had to write it in my blood. So…I did."

Bella's mouth fell open, then she snapped it shut as she curled her hand around its contents.

"Your blood. _God's be_. Edward, _what did you write_?" she whispered as she gripped my wrist.

"The only thing that mattered. The only thing that ever will." My gaze locked on hers as I laid bare my soul. "_You. I wrote down your name. Isabella_."

Her eyes were as wide as the moon above, and her mouth slack in astonishment. Seeming to fully grasp what I'd just proclaimed, she uncurled her fingers, laid down the parchment pieces and then took mine from my hand. She placed them together as if a puzzle and then just stared down at her name.

Her voice was uneven and so low I could barely hear her words."You wrote this. In your blood. After not even a week of being at Ostburn."

They were statements, not questions. "Yes," I affirmed.

She stroked a finger over her name and then turned to me with tears falling down her cheeks.

"You really do love me. You've loved me for quite some time. _You love me_." Her voice broke upon her final whispered words, a gasping sob escaping her lips.

My chest split open, and all of me came tumbling out. I reached for her, grasping for the one thing that could put me back together again, but this time everything would be in the right place, held together by her love.

Reminding myself to be gentle, I placed my hands along her wet cheeks, gently stroking them with my thumbs.

"Ah, Bella, lass. Never doubt it."

She nodded, then raised her right hand.

"I choose you. Will you choose me?"

"I already did. A long time ago."

I wiped the remainder of her tears away, then slid my hands from her face. Taking a deep breath, I placed my left hand against her right.

"I will walk…" I said softly but with gravity.

"…where you walk," Bella finished.

"I will journey…"

"…where you journey," Bella added with a small glance about our campsite. She graced me with a little smile.

"I will dwell…"

"…where you dwell," she finished, but I felt unease set within me at that. I had planned to leave Oaklea. Up until recently, I hadn't had any plan to take her with me.

I couldn't speak the final words and slowly lowered my hand. Bella looked perplexed, then dismayed.

"We _must_ finish the ceremony," she implored.

"It's finished."

"We must speak _all the words_," she insisted.

I merely inclined my head, unable, or perhaps unwilling, to completely bind myself to her. For her sake, not my own.

"It's enough," I stated and got to my feet.

She was quickly standing in front of me, grabbing my arm as I went to walk away.

"Oh, no you don't! Not without an explanation. I called upon all the gods! I choose you. You choose me back. We love each other. Finish the ceremony!"

"Bella. It's enough. I have to leave you a way out. I could be caught and tried for treason. I refuse to drag you along with me to the executioner. It's enough. The gods are appeased."

"Oh! You know, you infuriate me at times! Why do you have to be so _stubborn_?" she shouted at me.

"And why do you have to be the same?" I shouted back.

"_You're such an arse_! And to _think_ I was going to willingly lie with you again this eve, pain or no!"

"Who said anything about me bedding you?" I asked in frustration.

"Well, certainly not me! Not now!" she flung back at me as she grabbed her pallet and shook it out in anger.

I felt I could burst with pent up frustration. Instead, I squatted down and carefully picked up all the pieces of her name and lovingly placed them back inside my pouch. With Bella's steady gaze upon me, I tied my necklace back around my neck. I gathered up her pebble and dragon scale, placed them back into her pouch, and laid it aside. The lizard had scampered off, but the little tree I hastily replanted in the ground. When finished, I walked back over to Bella and gazed down upon her then lying on her side, ignoring me.

"Here's your necklace," I said as I gently placed it beside her. Her hand reached out and curled around it, but other than that, she continued to ignore me.

I sat down close to her, my eyes resting on the dancing flames of the fire. The strange, eerie stillness had abated, leaving a peaceful calm in this part of the woods we were inhabiting.

I began to climb back inside my own head, never a good thing, and really contemplate our situation. Perhaps I was being ridiculous about the binding, but…no. I was being ridiculous.

I expelled a breath of surrender. It was time to make this right. Feeling an utter arse again, I tugged my chainmail off and my boots. I then placed my knife and sword beside our pallet and stretched out beside Bella.

"I know you're awake."

I saw her frown; then her eyes popped open. "What of it?"

"I hope you're prepared for a lifetime of being cross with me."

"Don't start with me again," she retorted and then closed her eyes again.

I reached out and placed my hand upon her chest. Steeling myself for whatever reaction I was about to draw from Bella, I met her angry eyes.

"My heart and my body are yours. By all the gods, Isabella, you are mine, and nothing but death may separate us."

A long pause, then...

"Is this about the bedding?"

"God's be, no. It's about me being an arse."

"Well, you _are_ kind of an arse," she agreed.

I chuckled. "Will you not say the words as well?"

"Should I?"

This woman. She stripped me bare, yielded me no mercy. "_Yes_."

"Because?"

I nearly growled. "_Because you love me and want me to be your husband_."

"I do?"

"You do."

"I'm thinking of altering my mind. Perhaps you'd best list all assets you'll bring to our marriage."

Finally seeing her chiding and teasing for what it was, I decided to play along. "Well, I'm handsome, so I won't give you ugly offspring."

"True," she agreed.

"And I'm rich. Well, I was."

"I don't care about money, but I'm sure we'll scrape by."

So far, so good.

"Well, I'm a fearsome fighter, the best in Oaklea, so I'll always protect you and keep you safe."

"Also true. No worries there," she replied.

I tried to think of something else positive, but all I kept coming up with was my damned cock. That had proven not to be an asset with her a maiden and my foolish, clumsy attempt at sex with her.

What a stupid arse I was. What else could I offer her? How to make her see that I was the man for her?

It came to me then. Wooing your woman was no different than fight training to get your body into shape and your mind focused. I had practiced and learned to do that over the years to the utmost of my physical and mental abilities.

Bella deserved nothing less. Indeed, she deserved only the best. Therefore, I would approach that the same until no woman had ever been loved and cared for like her. With her guidance, I'd hopefully become the kind of devoted man she deserved. Until then, it was going to take much trial and error until I got it right.

I tried to remember back to what I'd told Emmett to do with Rosalie when we were at Ostburn. Flowers, I remembered that. Well, that had been a success. What else? Wine? Sweetmeats? I had neither, but hopefully I could procure those for her in the near future. The other part was about telling her that she was beautiful and being charming. I could easily and in all honesty tell her the first, but as to me being charming, that I'd have to work on.

All I knew, all I'd known, was light and fast flirtations that were intended to get a woman under me in a bed. In the past, women had only served one purpose for me, and then I'd been finished with them. I'd never bothered much with their pleasure nor their feelings. I hadn't cared.

I'd been a real bastard, I realized.

And to think I'd thought to take Bella the same way I'd taken all my other lovers. What a complete arse I'd been. She wasn't some faceless doxy for me to relieve myself with. She was, hopefully soon to be, my wife.

"Edward? Are you finished?"

"Just reminding myself how much of an arse I am," I replied in disgust.

"Only once in a while," she replied.

"You're far more generous with me than I deserve," I said.

"So, I should say the words because you're an arse?"

I shook my head with a laugh, grateful to her for lightening my mood. "No. You should say yes to me, because I have decided something."

"And what's that?"

"That I am going to learn how to be your devoted mate and lover to the best of my abilities. Like my fight training, I will approach this with determination, precision, and all my skills. I will practice this until no woman will ever have such a lover as you will have."

I saw her blink at me in the firelight. "Oh, my."

"Now, Isabella of Ostburn, say the words," I ordered her.

"You won't leave me, nor forsake me?"

"Say the words," I repeated in impatience.

"Not until you vow that to me," she said with bite.

I nearly glared at her, frustrated at the concession she'd just won. "I so swear."

She studied my face, then I felt her palm against my chest as she began to speak. "My heart and my body are yours. By all the gods, Edward, you are mine, and nothing but death may separate us."

"Finally," I said in relief as I captured her lips in a kiss.

I wouldn't bed her tonight. Not yet. But I could give her pleasure. I owed her that much. With deliberate moves and gentle touches, I untied her dress, then chemise. My fingers traveled under the fabric to cup her breast in my palm. I bit back a moan at the feel of her nipple pressing against my hand. With tender swirls around her nipple and gentle rubs and tugs against that sensitive skin, I soon had her softly gasping against my lips.

Needing to have my lips upon her breasts, desiring more of her sensual gasping moans, I rolled her onto her back and freed her breasts from her clothing. My mouth was soon upon those delightful globes, touching, kissing, licking, and sucking until Bella was moaning and nearly coming apart under me.

_God's be, she had such pretty breasts_. A man could get lost in the valley between them and die happily wandering that landscape. And she was so responsive and uninhibited. She reveled in my touch and wasn't shy about showing it. This woman was a wonder.

Craving to give her more, I reached down and slowly trailed my hand up her thigh. When I reached her womanhood, the heat from her under my fingers, I had to take a deep breath and try to contain myself. More in control, I stretched out my fingers, silently instructing her to spread her thighs. She hesitated, then followed my lead. Delighted to now have open access to the very heart of her, I slid one fingertip along her slit.

She jerked and cried out. Well pleased with that response, I stroked her again. This time I concentrated on that tiny little nub of flesh that if manipulated correctly, could bring her to orgasm. Fascinated with her responses, between kisses, I studied her face enjoying the play of emotions upon it.

"_Show me, Bella. Show me how you soar_," I whispered roughly.

A gasping groan, and then she was flying, her release a thing of wonderment.

I pulled her against me and laid my forehead to hers as we both struggled to regain control of our breathing.

"What…what…was that?" Bella asked me between breaths.

I pulled my face back and sent her a smirking almost smolder. "That, my wife, was an orgasm."

"Oh," she said with wide eyes. "Can you do that to me again?"

"Certainly. Whenever we're alone and you desire to."

"So that's what our first bedding was to be like," she said, sounding relieved.

"Well, something like that, only more."

"Much more than that, and I might not live through it," she declared, causing me to laugh.

"You'll live through it every time and have a damned good time as you do."

"So says you," she pertly replied.

"Well, yes. We'll try that a lot of different ways until you choose what your favorite is, the way that feels best."

"I'm almost scared at the determination I hear in your voice," she answered.

I laughed again and kissed her hard. "Perhaps you should be."

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Are you ever going to take your hand out from between my legs?"

"Do I have to?" I asked, making sure I sounded very sad about the prospect.

"Well, I'm sure men don't have their hands between their woman's legs all the time."

"They do if they're not idiots."

She snorted. "We should sleep."

"Yes," I sighed and finally drew my hand out from under her skirts. I righted them and then grabbed the other blanket, covering us. "I know where my head is resting this night."

"Some place besides upon your shoulders?" Bella asked in amusement.

"Yes, indeed. Right here upon these breasts of yours. I'll have very good dreams this night," I said as I snuggled my face against her skin.

"Uh, all right," Bella said uncertainly as she tugged the covers higher, indeed right over my head.

I titled my face back and looked up at her from under the blanket.

"My chest was cold," she said with an innocent look.

I snorted, then snuggled my face back to the perfect spot, my right hand cupping her left breast.

"You're really going to sleep like that?" she asked in surprise.

"Absolutely," I replied as I closed my eyes. "Sleep, wife."

She was quiet, her breathing even, so I thought she had fallen asleep. She surprised me with speaking, though.

"You won't leave me, will you?" she whispered.

I pretended to sleep to avoid answering her.

"No matter," she added. "I won't allow you to anyway. I know you're awake, Edward of Sunhaven, and I'm telling you, as Isabella of Sunhaven, I will not allow you to leave me."

My eyes flew back open. _Isabella of Sunhaven_. Isabella of Ostburn no longer. All had changed. For better or worse, our lot was now cast together, live or die, free or captured.

I felt a shimmer of fear slide down my spine at the prospects for our future, _her_ future. For all that mattered to me from now on was her safety. Her life, and hers alone, was all that counted, and the rest of the world be damned.

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**Thanks for reading! I hope the binding was everything you expected, dears.**

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**Much love,**

**Sunny**


	14. Chapter 14

**I tend to run out of words when it comes to describing my pre-reader, Lynzlee, and my beta, GeekChick12, are but trust me when I say how amazing they both are. Thank you, dears, for all that you do! **

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own the contents of this story.**

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**White Shadows**

**Chapter 14**

Edward grunted as I shoved him over onto his back.

"Damn it. I'm awake, woman!" he grumbled.

"Good," I replied as I climbed on top of him.

His lips quirked into a lop-sided grin. "Something on your mind, my queen?"

I gripped the sides of his beard as I leaned down and sealed my lips against him. After we shared a lingering kiss, I pulled back and grinned down at him.

"Just wanted to kiss my husband," I answered happily. "I'd call you my king, but by the gods, you've already got an ego the size of the kingdom. I really don't think I need to add to it."

"Too late," he replied with a smirk. "I've won Isabella of Ostburn. If that wasn't enough to make me feel like a king, nothing would be."

Well, this husband of mine just continued to surprise me.

"Look at you being charming. Should I be concerned?"

He laughed. "I believe so. This is new to me, attempting to win a woman's good opinion."

"You're doing a pretty good job of it this morn."

"Ah, well," he replied with a warm look.

One strong arm around my back held me as he arose to sitting, me now straddling his lap.

"Have I ever told you that you drive me mad?" he asked, his voice deep and husky.

"Because you want my body?"

"God's be, yes," he mumbled as his mouth found my neck.

His beard was scratchy against my skin, but his searching lips were so soft. His kisses left a trail of fire down to my chest. One hand was kneading my breast as the other firmly held my bottom, pressing me against the hardness in his lap. I couldn't seem to help the pleased sound that came from deep inside me.

Edward suddenly stopped and rested his forehead against my shoulder. I brushed my fingers through his hair.

"Something the matter?"

He lifted hungry, regretful eyes to mine. "No. It's just time we stopped. We need to break our fast and then depart. I want to get you to more comfortable accommodations this eve."

"A bed!" I said in delight.

He got a funny look on his face. "Yes. And a bath," he added.

"Then?" I asked with a gleam in my eyes.

I certainly hoped he planned to give me another one of those orgasms. I'd never felt anything like that and wanted more.

His grin was knowing, wicked. "Then. Ah, then."

"You tease me so," I said playfully. "You think you have the upper hand now."

He laughed, a rich, deep sound that resonated all around me. "Telleor forbid if I ever think I'm the one in charge in this relationship. Every time I do, you quite pointedly prove that assumption incorrect."

"Well, it seems you've said several things right this morning. Keep this up and you may just get to see me unclothed this eve," I replied saucily.

His grin was wide, filled with happiness. "Woman. You tempt me so."

I giggled as I shoved against his chest and climbed to my feet. I stood over him with my hands on my hips.

"Like this?" I asked innocently as I lifted my skirts to the top of my thighs.

Lust replaced happiness on Edward's face as he leapt to his feet. Faster than I thought it possible, his arm was wrapped around my back, his other hand under my skirt, holding my bare bottom cheek, giving it a squeeze.

He leaned down, and his lips barely brushed the shell of my ear. "Tonight, Lady Sunhaven, I'm going to send you soaring over and over until you're too exhausted to fly." He sealed that promise with his hand sliding around to gently brush the folds between my legs.

"Edward," I gasped as my knees went weak.

He suddenly released me and stepped back. "Use the privy and eat, woman. We've much riding to do this day."

I just stood there like an imbecile, unable to get my brain to function correctly to make my body move or my mouth work.

Edward shot me one last cocky, amused look before he went to inspect Moonspawn's hooves and saddle him. Finally shaking my head to clear it, I turned to the saddle bag that held the remains of our food stores to find us a morning meal.

It was twilight before we reached our destination. I avidly eyed the small village in the distance, missing the normalcy of my lifetime of being surrounded by numerous other humans in close quarters. Though I certainly didn't begrudge this time I'd had alone with Edward.

Edward gave the small hamlet a wide berth, me watching those comfortable small, homey cottages in near-longing, their windows lit and smoke curling from hearth fires.

Circling back around to the very edge of the village, Edward made a cautious approach up a near-invisible lane. Nestled in a secluded spot, surrounded by a copse of thick evergreens, I spied a cozy two-storey cottage. I saw windows cheerfully illuminated and heard the sounds of livestock. Welcoming sights and sounds. As we approached, I took note of the neatness of the place, the garden, cottage, and outbuildings looking well-tended.

Edward leapt down and then grabbed me by the waist, placing me in front of him. He looped Moonspawn's reins around the top rail of the fence surrounding the garden.

As much as I longed for some creature comforts, I did have some trepidation. Everyone but each other was a potential enemy and betrayer. He noted the unspoken question upon my face.

"It's all right," he reassured me as he squeezed my hand. "We're quite safe here."

"And exactly where is here?" I asked.

He didn't have time to reply, for the front door was yanked opened so hard and quickly that it banged against the interior wall.

"Well, do my eyes deceive me, or is Edward of Sunhaven gracing my garden?" A short, jovial man with dark hair and eyes and a ruddy complexion asked in amusement as he hustled toward us.

He skidded to a halt in front of Edward and me, his eyes bouncing from Edward, then down to me. Those dark eyes widened a bit at seeing my face.

He appeared to struggle not to stare at me as he spoke to Edward. "Welcome, friend," the man said as he reached out and clasped Edward's forearm. Edward did the same with a relaxed grin.

"Benjamin, you rascal. How does life find you?" Edward asked him.

"Well, my friend. Quite well." Benjamin looked to me enquiringly.

Edward placed a possessive hand against the small of my back. "Benjamin, this is Isabella. My wife."

Benjamin's eyes got so wide, they nearly popped out of his head. "W-w-wife?" he sputtered.

Edward laughed. "You did not mishear me. Wife, indeed."

Benjamin collected himself and presented me with a most impressive bow. "My Lady Sunhaven. You're most welcome! No flower in the garden could possibly adorn my humble abode more beautifully."

Edward coughed and softly snorted in amusement.

I bit back a grin as I inclined my head, acting every inch the lady as my mother had taught me. "I thank you, kind sir. You're a generous host to grant us a respite at your fine home."

"Honoring one's guest is a sacred duty. Telleor take me if I fail in doing so."

"Speaking of that, Ben, my wife would request a warm bath, scented with flowers, if such a thing is possible. And could I ask of you a warm meal?" Edward asked.

"Yes! Of course! Nothing but the best for you both. I'll return in just a moment," Benjamin declared as he briefly bowed to me and practically ran back to the cottage. I heard him bellowing instruction to servants. He reappeared, rapidly returning to us.

"Bryn!" he called out, and a boy of about twelve years of age, looking exactly like Benjamin in miniature, came running.

"Father?" he asked, but then his eyes fell upon Edward. "_The Slayer?_" he whispered, hero-worship clear in his voice.

"Sunhaven, or Sir Edward to you," Benjamin reprimanded his son.

"Yes, sir," Bryn said contritely, but his eyes still glowed with admiration as he stared at my husband.

"Take his horse, son, and be sure to rub him down and feed him the best oats," Benjamin ordered Bryn.

"Yes, sir!" he replied.

Edward, his lips twitching in amusement, handed over the reins to an awe-struck Bryn. Edward grabbed our saddle bags and untied my bow and quiver of arrows from the saddle.

"Behave," he ordered his horse as he looked him in the eyes. Moonspawn snorted and pawed the ground, his impatience for a warm stall and a meal in his future obvious.

"Come, come. You must be starved. I've got food and wine to tide us over until the evening repast." Benjamin motioned for us toward the door. I stepped in first, my eyes traveling around the neat, clean cottage.

Benjamin directed us to a cozy room, a cheery fire popping in the fire pit. "My best chair, my lady," he said as he ran over and grabbed a stuffed cushion, fluffing it up before he placed it on the wooden seat.

"I thank you," I said as I lowered myself sitting, my posture straight and my hands folded in my lap as I had been taught to sit as a lady from nearly the cradle.

Edward dropped our things by the doorway, then flung himself into a chair close to me. He sat with his long arms resting on the chair arms, his legs spread wide as men do, taking up as much space as possible. I briefly pondered why men did such a thing, but then, I thought, they're men. They like to establish their dominance by making themselves appear as big as possible. And perhaps they just enjoyed giving their male parts some breathing room. I really shouldn't be thinking about men's parts…or whatever they were called. I'd overheard many times the guardsmen calling theirs "cocks", but I really didn't think that was a word a lady should ever use.

God's be. Where in the world are my thoughts? I nearly giggled out loud. I must be exhausted to be thinking such ridiculous, improper things.

"My finest wine, Lady Sunhaven." Benjamin offered me a silver goblet, snapping my attention back to the room. "And perhaps a sweetmeat?" he asked as he held out a plate of sugared plums.

My favorites!

"Thank you," I answered most sincerely as I took the goblet and chose one of the plums. He watched me sip my wine, then take a bite of my sugared plum, awaiting my approval.

"Delicious." I took another sip of wine and closed my eyes. "This wine, a deep red, spicy and sweet. From Saffrose?" I asked as I opened my eyes and met Benjamin's full of approval.

"You have a most discerning pallet, my lady. That is indeed a Saffrose red," Benjamin replied in satisfaction.

"Delightful," I responded with a smile.

Benjamin's eyes got wide. "Yes," he murmured. "Yes, delightful indeed."

"Could I have some of that wine, or are you going to stand there staring at _my wife_ all eve?" Edward asked, sounding annoyed.

Benjamin shook his head rapidly as if to clear it, then spun toward Edward. "Forgive me, friend. I've not seen such a handsome woman in many a year. I cannot help but to gaze upon such beauty." Benjamin's eyes darted to me. "Forgive me, my lady, if I offend."

I waved my hand holding my plum. "No offense has been given."

"I'll decide that," Edward retorted under his breath, sounding like a petulant child. I sipped my wine to hide my grin at Edward's jealousy.

Benjamin handed Edward a goblet and then offered the plate of plums, which Edward waved away. "I'll just go see how our meal and the hot water for your baths are coming along." Benjamin was gone in a heartbeat.

I sipped my wine and side-eyed the plate of sugared plums.

I heard Edward chuckle. "Have as many as you want. You've got that rascal Ben nearly worshipping at your feet. He'd be honored to have you enjoying them."

With Edward's approval, I quickly snatched up another plum, sinking my teeth into its sugary goodness. I turned my head to find Edward's eyes on my mouth.

"Sugared plums are my favorite. Do I make a mess in my haste to consume them?" I asked as I licked the sugar from my lips. Edward's eyes never left my mouth.

"No. I was just wishing I was that sugar," Edward replied huskily.

Taking that in, I took another small bite of plum and slowly licked my lips, watching Edward from the corner of my eye.

"Temptress," Edward softly growled.

Benjamin entered the room, and I quickly took a sip of my wine to hide my smirk.

"The baths are ready. I've had the maid air out the spare bed chamber for you both this night. She's readied your bath there, my lady. Edward, if you don't mind bathing in my bed chamber?"

"We've put you to too much trouble on our account. Forgive us," I said.

"No trouble. None at all. I owe Sunhaven my life. A debt that I can never fully repay. Shama will lead you to your chamber and aide you, my lady," Benjamin said as a round, squat woman with a kind, weathered face appeared in the doorway. "The evening repast will be served once you're ready."

I arose and handed my wine goblet to Edward with a nod. I then followed Shama upstairs to a chamber she'd prepared.

"Never had such fine guests before. Never even seen a highborn lady. It's my honor to serve you," Shama said shyly.

"Am I keeping you from other duties? I do not wish to inconvenience you."

She blinked at me. "Not sure what that means, my lady, but I've strict orders from Master to tend to all your needs. That's my duty."

"Well, then I thank in advance for your service. If you could help me wash and brush my hair, I'd be most grateful."

"Yes, my lady," she said, then scuttled around the room getting things ready. I undressed, then sunk down into the first warm bath I'd had in a fortnight. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back in bliss.

"I'll wash your hair now, my lady," Shama said. She unbraided my hair and then picked out leaves and small twigs entangled within its length. She then thoroughly scrubbed my scalp and the rest of my hair. After three rinses, she decided that she'd gotten all the soap out.

I then lathered my body as Shama got a comb and began to work out the tangles in my hair. Finally feeling human again, I arose from my bath, and Shama dried my body. I slipped into my other semi-clean chemise and then Shama had me sit by the fire as she worked more on my hair.

Wine and more sugared plums were set out for me, and I did not hesitate to avail myself of such treats. I nearly became drowsy from the wine combined with warmth of the fire and Shama's gentle combing of my long hair. A knock on the door from the cook awoke me from my stupor. With the meal ready to be placed on the table, my stomach nearly rebelling from so much sweetness after a time of abstinence, I clothed myself in my only other dress.

Shama had taken time to brush my hair until it shone; then she'd pinned back the hair on each side of my face over my ears. She then placed a silver coronet I'd brought with me made up of delicate leaves and flowers upon my head. My silver bracelet and belt with the silver bells hanging down my thigh over my blue gown completed my outfit. Slipping on my boots, I nodded to Shama that I was ready for the evening repast.

When I entered the dining chamber, Benjamin shot to his feet.

"My lady. You're a vision," he said with a low bow.

"I thank you," I replied to Benjamin, but my eyes were only for my husband.

Edward had bathed and shaved and donned fresh clothing. His damp hair was brushed back causally from his sharp-angled, handsome face. His eyes, though, were deep, warm pools of admiration.

Edward slowly arose and offered me a courtly bow. "My lady wife." He walked to me with an outstretched hand.

Benjamin nearly tripped over himself to get my chair pulled out. He fluffed the cushion, then motioned with a sweeping hand, "The best chair for you, Lady Sunhaven."

I inclined my head to him, then took the offered seat. Edward raised my hand to his lips, briefly brushing over my knuckles before gently sliding his hand out of mine. A little shocked and admittedly pleased at this new development of charming Edward, I sent him a shy smile as he took his own seat.

Edward's lips briefly quirked in amusement as he winked at me. I nearly giggled at the table but remembered my manners and withheld. As if seeing the laugh I held back, Edward's face split in a grin. Unable to help myself, not when the most handsome man in the world was grinning at me with dancing eyes, I matched that grin with one of my own.

I heard Benjamin cough, and I realized that we were being quite rude. Turning my attention to our host, I struck up a conversation. "So, tell me the story of how you met Sunhaven. Knowing my husband as I do, I'm sure there's a story there."

Benjamin laughed with beaming eyes. Pleased to have my full attention, he began a lengthy story that involved shady people and places. A tavern, a crooked game of cards, and Emmett, of course. I had a feeling that most stories of the shadier nature in regards to Edward would most likely involve Emmett.

Benjamin was a natural storyteller graced with a certain wit, so his story was both captivating and amusing. Edward chimed in here and there but mostly responded with grins and snorts. I found I hadn't been so entertained in quite some time, and was enjoying myself immensely.

As Benjamin talked, we partook in a fine repast of duck and roasted potatoes and vegetables, followed by berry compote with fresh cream. Edward devoured the tasty feast, but I'd eaten daintily as my mother had instilled within me. Though I longed to attack that delicious repast the same as my husband. I do believe that was the best meal I'd ever imbibed. At least it was the most welcome.

The meal concluded with sharp cheddar cheeses, nuts, and fresh citrus fruits offered along with a thick, almost too sweet wine. I nibbled on a bite of cheese as I sipped my wine, then sighed in satisfaction.

"I thank you for such a fine meal. My compliments to your cook," I said to Benjamin.

"I'm honored to have served you such a humble meal, my lady. I only wish I'd had fresh venison and a better variety of fresh vegetables and fruits to serve you."

"I assure you that I've not had such a fine meal in many a day, but I find I'm quite exhausted. If I may take my leave of you men and retire?"

They both arose. "Certainly," Benjamin said with a bow.

Edward briefly bowed as well as he held my gaze, promise in his for the night to come.

I felt the heat in my cheeks and turned away before it would become obvious. Shama met me at the foot of the stairs and led me up where she helped me undress and then offered me a pot of tea and sugary biscuits. Despite feeling near stuffed to bursting, I found I could not resist such a rare delicacy and drank two cups of tea as I nibbled on three biscuits.

Exhausted and a stomach so full I nearly felt ill, I became drowsy, so I dismissed Shama and crawled into my soft bed. I tried to keep my eyes open, awaiting Edward, but found sleep tugging me under and soon succumbed.

I was awoken later to an arm sliding across my waist and Edward's solid body pressing against mine. I tried to rouse myself, but sleep kept tugging at me. Edward brushed a kiss across my lips, then pulled the blankets up around us.

"Go back to sleep, my wife. You need your rest."

"But the bedding…" I mumbled.

"It can wait," he replied as he settled my head under his chin.

Finding myself waking up at his words, I shook my head. I pushed up on my elbow and looked down at him. "No, it can't. We need to seal the binding. Why do you keep putting this off? You seemed eager enough for it this morn."

I watched the flicker of emotions cross his face in the dim firelight. "You're tired. I'm not putting this off."

I realized the falsity of his words the moment he spoke them. "I'm not tired any longer. Let us proceed."

Edward frowned and sat up. I stared at his broad, bare chest, his arms heavy with muscles, and felt the tip of my tongue dart out between my teeth.

Edward cursed. Dragging my attention from his impressive body, I met his eyes. "Are we back to you keeping your words?"

He shrugged and looked away.

"Damn you. Talk to me! What's this about?"

He didn't speak, didn't look at me. My mind was in turmoil. I knew this man wanted my body. He'd shown that clearly on several occasions, just this morning as a matter-of-fact. What could be going on here? Then, realization dawned.

"You're afraid you'll hurt me again."

"If I ever hurt you again, Bella, you have my permission to take my sword and thrust it right through my heart," he insisted.

"It was a mistake. Stop berating yourself over it. I know that you'd never willingly hurt me. You just got caught up in passion—"

"For Telleor's sake, Bella! Stop being so damned generous about this! Nothing I could ever do would atone for such rough use of your body. If it's honesty you want, then yes. Yes, I'm afraid that I'll get caught up in passion and hurt you again. I don't know how to be gentle during sex, and you're so small, and I'm a big, hulking male. It would be so easy for me to forget my strength and hurt you again."

Shocked at how vulnerable Edward had sounded, I got up on my knees and held his face in my hands.

"Look at me."

He exhaled in frustration but met my eyes just the same.

"Men have been bedding their women since the beginning of time. Women are smaller, yes, but obviously the gods fashioned our bodies to…connect in a certain way. You've bedded many women. I don't understand this reluctance to bed me."

He gripped my arms that were holding his face. "Because none of those women were you. None of those women were my wife. None of those women did I give a damn about. Only you matter. Only you."

I softly smiled. "You've said some pretty words to me, but those were some of the best. Come, my love. Make me your wife in true. Don't make me beg," I said with a mean face. I pulled my dagger out from under my pillow and pointed it at him. "I don't like not getting what I want."

Edward chuckled. He reached out and gently pried the dagger from my hand, tossing it to the floor. "I noticed. Come here then, and let us try this. I'll try not to be an animal this time."

Elated with my win, I crawled into his lap. "I have to tell you, I do love getting my way."

He reached down and gripped the bottom of my chemise, tugging it over my head and tossing it away.

He gazed at my breasts before he pushed me onto my back and covered my body with his. "If you getting your way entails you being under me naked, I think I'm quite all right with that."

"I thought you might be," I replied happily.

"Now, stop talking, Isabella, and allow me to try to do this properly."

Seeing the wisdom of his words, I didn't reply. He placed his hand against my throat and slowly drug his fingertips down my chest. He paused there. His eyes ,when they met mine, were hesitant, uncertain. Feeling the need to erase that look in his eyes, I lifted my mouth to his. We shared a deep kiss, and I felt Edward relax.

His hand traveled to my breast, cupping it and rolling my nipple between his fingers. A sudden change and I had Edward, the determined, eager lover with me. He tore his mouth from mine and began a wet trail of kisses down my neck to my left breast. He wasn't as gentle as he could have been, but I tried not to mind.

Edward was a man of action, a fierce fighter. He was rough by nature. I closed my eyes as new understanding of my husband's nature was made apparent to me. Our beddings would surely always be such as this. He couldn't help himself. He conquered, he took, he demanded. It was who he was.

His hand stroked me between my legs, his finger impatiently pushing inside of me. I spread my legs and allowed him to do what he would. He'd remember sooner or later to be gentle. At least I hoped he would. His first finger was joined by another, stretching me, and I shifted uncomfortably. I knew he was getting me ready for the size of his cock, but that didn't mean that I was enjoying how he was going about it.

His breathing was harsh as his mouth took mine in a devouring kiss. I didn't mind the kissing. I liked that. Suddenly he was there between my legs, coaxing my thighs wider with his hips. I felt him begin to enter me and tensed up, and Edward paused.

"Relax. It'll be easier."

I nodded and tried my best to keep my body from rebelling against his demands as he pushed farther into me. He kept pushing until he could go no farther.

"Isabella," he gasped against my ear. "You fit me tighter than a glove."

I was almost holding my breath as my body tried to adjust to this intrusion. He pulled out and slid back in. It was still uncomfortable but not unbearably so. But then his fingers found that spot they had last eve, and he began to coax me back to enjoyment.

"Relax and fly for me, wife," he commanded me as he placed kisses along my jaw.

I closed my eyes again and tried to find that feeling from last eve. Surprisingly, it was soon there. I began to enjoy Edward's thrusts into my body, and I certainly enjoyed what his fingers were doing.

"It's been too long, and you feel too good. I can't wait," he moaned. Then he was wrapping his arms around my back and crushing me against his chest as he stilled and harshly spoke my name. A few more thrusts and his head fell against my shoulder.

He slid off of me and pulled me against his side. His breathing was ragged as he grabbed my jaw and branded my mouth with a kiss. His fingers were back between my legs, demanding and insistent.

"_Soar_," he commanded me.

It didn't take long before I cried out as that incredible feeling of tension built up and then released in a blessed explosion of pleasure. Edward was saying things to me as my body continued to undulate with that amazing thing Edward had called an orgasm.

Finally spent, I rested my head on Edward's arm. His hand slid from between my legs, grabbing my thigh and tugging my leg over his.

"Now we're truly bound," I whispered. "Nothing but death can separate you from me."

His hand had been lazily stroking my back, but I felt it pause. He was still and quiet for some time.

"You may regret this binding," he finally replied.

"Do you?" I asked as I raised my head to study his face.

"I regret anything that puts you in danger."

"That's _not_ what I asked," I said with a deep frown.

"It's the answer I'm giving you," he retorted and rolled away from me. He sat on the edge of the bed with his hands between his knees. I sat up and pulled the bedding up over my breasts.

I honestly didn't know how to reply to that. He'd fought our attachment the entire way, and here, even after all was said and done, he was still having a hard time accepting it. He kept saying it was for my safety, but I was beginning to think it was for his own.

I'd broken down his walls, and he wasn't happy about that. I pushed, and he pushed back. This was never going to be easy between us. Perhaps it was the age difference. He had nine natal years on me, and he'd lived an exciting life in that time while I'd been a sheltered girl, growing up behind the walls of a castle. Feeling young and insecure, I lay down and pulled the covers around me as I watched the firelight play against his dark red hair and muscled back.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked quietly.

"No."

"I'm not good with things like this, Bella." He slightly turned and met my gaze. "I've never tried to make the bedding about the woman and not me. I'm afraid I failed again in doing so."

"It did not hurt. I did not mind it. It's a part of marriage," I said with a shrug.

His frown was deeper than the line between his brows. "That wasn't exactly an enthusiastic response."

"No. But it was a truthful one."

He nodded and looked away. After taking a deep breath, he went and used the chamber pot. As he did so, I attempted to clean this fairly disgusting mess from between my legs. Felling less uncomfortable, I crawled back into bed. Edward was soon climbing back in beside me. He hesitated a moment, then held out his arm. I took him up on that offer by molding my body against his.

He kissed the top of my hair, then pulled the covers over us.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"For?" I whispered back.

"For being such an arse. I will get this right, Bella."

"You have a lifetime to do so."

"You should get some rest," he said, ignoring my words.

"Edward?"

He hesitated in replying. "Yes?"

"Where are we headed?"

He seemed relieved at my question. "Somewhere safe."

"Why won't you tell me?"

"You've no need to know. You're just going to have to trust me in this."

I shifted my upper body onto his chest, resting my chin there. "I do. And you're going to have to trust me in return."

"With what?"

"With what's inside of you," I said as I stroked a fingertip across his lips.

"And what if there's absolutely nothing inside of me?" he asked, fear in his eyes.

I reached up and placed a gentle kiss upon his lips. "I know that to be untrue. You've a tumultuous storm inside of you, constantly churning and stirring up things best forgotten. You've a lifetime of hurt and loneliness that you try to cover up with a cocky demeanor. I see right past it, you know. I always have."

He averted his eyes and was silent for so long that I thought he wasn't going to reply to that. "I know you have, Bella. But you don't see why I fought you so hard. You don't understand my one true fear."

"And there you'd be wrong, for it's the same fear I have."

He looked surprised. "And what fear is that, Isabella?" he asked quietly.

I pushed up until I was half sitting. I gazed down at his beloved face.

"You didn't want to love me because you never wanted to live through the possibility of losing me someday. It was that fear, the fear of one day knowing you were no longer whole because the person who was the other part of you no longer lived. That's why you withhold from me. Fear of losing me."

Strong emotion crossed his face, and then he sat up and crushed me against his chest. "You will live, Bella. _You will live_. I can live as long as you do." His voice was rough as he held me too tightly in his arms. "I've near lost you twice, and those times took years off my life. I don't think I would live through it a third time."

"And I thought all that time you didn't love me."

His laugh was harsh, without humor.

"My heart stopped when you dove into the river to rescue Alice. You didn't see my desperation to get you breathing again afterwards. I do believe I frightened the others. You don't even know what I went through when that monster held a knife at your throat. I don't even have the words to describe such horror."

"Let's never discuss those two times again. I've no wish to recall those memories."

"Agreed." He sighed and released me. "We must rest."

We arranged ourselves back under the covers, him holding me tight.

"Your friend is nice," I mumbled sleepily.

"He's an arse that fawns over you too damned much. I came damn near to hitting him several times this eve," Edward retorted.

"Jealous you is cute."

"I am not cute. Never call me cute, woman! I'm frightening and fearsome, but gods be, never, ever call me cute!" Edward ranted.

I giggled and kissed his chest. "All right, my fearsome husband. Get to sleep. I notice you didn't deny that you were jealous."

"Of course I'm jealous!" he retorted.

"See? Cute," I joked, earning me a smack to my bottom.

"Sleep, woman, and stop teasing me," Edward laughed.

I snuggled my face against his warmth. A smile was upon my lips as I finally drifted off to dream but it slowly faded at the sobering thought of me becoming with child. The timing couldn't be worse. I only hoped that the goddess knew what she was doing and prevented such an occurrence.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. And…I know, but Edward (Arseward as he's been dubbed by many of you) isn't going to change overnight. That would be unrealistic and untrue to his character.**

**Thank you to everyone who voted for this story over at TLS. The voting was strong for WS, so hopefully when they post the top five fics of last week, WS will be there.**

_**I posted a one-shot, The Friend Zone. It's sweet and naughty, so you can check that out if you wish.**_

**Have a great week, my chickadees!**

**Much love,**

**Sunny**


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